Personal drama - VENTING (bad weekend)

[jane13 2,256]

its been a rough weekend (a lot of personal drama at home) but this morning I hit my tickers halfway point of -58lbs. With 58 still to go to get to my "dream" weight, I know its achievable, but at this moment ~ I don't care. Sorry I need to vent here because I cant at home or out aloud. I walked into work an hour ago crying... not feeling it right now.

Adult son has some serious legal issues right now and is probably going "away" for a while. This is my youngest child who lives at home with me and his step-dad - I feel alone.

[kaysunshine 47]

its been a rough weekend (a lot of personal drama at home) but this morning I hit my tickers halfway point of -58lbs. With 58 still to go to get to my "dream" weight, I know its achievable, but at this moment ~ I don't care. Sorry I need to vent here because I cant at home or out aloud. I walked into work an hour ago crying... not feeling it right now.

Adult son has some serious legal issues right now and is probably going "away" for a while. This is my youngest child who lives at home with me and his step-dad - I feel alone.

It always seems bad. I don't know your situation, however, my sister just went thru some extreme drama with her son. He just started acting out after he turned 18. Before that NO Problems. Two court cases

1. He smack a young girl on her rear.

Sexual assault is the charge

2. Stole his roommates car

Ran from the cops,and hit 5 parked cars in one day.

So far the first charge was lessened

He received one year probation and it will come off his record. Still waiting on the next case.

He needed medication to steighten out.

Now that he's going to group and taking his meds.

He's back in college and himself again.

We thought he would get sometime with all that but so far things aren't that bad for him. I'm sure your son is a good person who's made a mistake or caught up in something out of his control. Children make mistakes we all hope ours don't but sometimes they fall short. All you can do is be there...which I'm sure you are. Pray for him,but you still have to take care of you in the process. Talk to people stay on your plan.Keep up the work you started for you. While you are working on you things will work themselves out.

Have you notice everytime we try to do something good for ourselves something tries to stop us.

[kaysunshine 47]

And congrats on your ticker 58lbs you are inspiring me

[jeanniereenie 177]

congrats on being halfway there, and sending happy thoughts your way to reduce your stress.

sorry about your bad day

[Jovie62 135]

Just try to stay in the moment. You don't know what's going to happen. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm proud you went to work! That's huge. When I'm in stressful situations I want to stay home and cry even when I know it's not the right thing to do. My family went through a similar situation with an older brother. It was a high profile case that was in the papers. My heart broke for him everyday along with my mom. But things are working out fine now and it has made him a better person. Just keep loving each other

Good job on the weight loss!

[GoogleGal8 2]

As a parent of an adult son whose been in trouble in the past, I understand. It's difficult to refrain from feeling guilty and distraught. We want the best for our kids but sometimes they make choices causing circumstances that we can't control. Focus on what you can control such as food, time, thoughts, etc. Prayer helps too.

[MarciaN 391]

I too have been going through a difficult time. I totally understand the "why should I keep doing this...nothing really matters". BUT IT DOES. It is good that you are crying. It is good to be angry or experience whatever emotions you are feeling. Sometimes life is not fair. But-- the one thing in your life that you can control is what you put into your mouth. You need to feel these emotions and handle them in a healthy way and keep strong. You have made such wonderful progress and need to keep doing this for yourself. You are worth it- it will get better. Write yourself a note where you would like things to be in 6 months. Seal the envelope and write the "to be opened date" on the front. You'll be surprised how much better things will look when you go back and open it. Good luck! You are strong.

[Babbs 14,681]

I'm sorry Jane. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Just pm me.

Congrats on your loss. Isn't it funny though, that we get so wrapped up in ourselves with this whole journey, but in the end there's a big world that just keeps going, full of good things and bad things no matter how much weight we lose.

I think it just makes all of us that much more brave to endure it all while still going through our own challenging weight loss journeys

[jane13 2,256]

its unfortunately not his first run in with the law and I feel he will do time. How much is what bothers me. I am 52. If he gets life...I think I will die inside. If he gets 30 years I might live to see him come out and he will be 54. I can't imagine what he would do at that point to support himself. He would be as emotionally and financially distraught as he has been the last 2-3 years trying to get a job.

As a felon, no one wants to hire you. And he sits...and thus gets into more trouble (drugs) because all the "buds" are also at home - doing nothing because they don't have a job. Its a vicious cycle that breeds trouble. I have complained with the probation office that I thought not only were they suppose to monitor his behavior but I thought they were supposed to help guide them back into society. His last PO flat told me the day he got out - "hes not going to make it". She had him back in jail within a couple of months for being home late from a job by 15 minutes and trying to sell an extra motorcycle helmet at the pawn shop to pay for a required probation class. I begged her to put an ankle monitor on him when it became apparent she thought he was not at home when he was supposed to be or coming straight home. She said "if you cannot afford a probation class, how can you afford a monitor?"

sorry still venting.

Thanks everyone for replying and sharing - I just want my son to lead a productive life. Get straight, get a job, home, maybe even one day have a family...and YES its all his fault (drugs) but I cannot sit at home and monitor him. I have 1 other child and 3 step-children he is the youngest of the five and I am beside myself trying to figure out what I did differently....

Edited August 24, 2015 by jane13

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so so sorry you are having to deal with this. It is so hard to watch someone we love self-destruct. I can't help but think that it is somewhat like how my family felt as I gained so much weight.

I don't have first-hand experience to share but hope that you won't let this derail you from taking care of yourself.

Whatever happens with him and your family, by taking care of yourself first you will be in a much better physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual state to deal with whatever happens.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, cry, and lean on trusted friends for support. We are here to listen, too.

[jane13 2,256]

@@MarciaN @@GoogleGal8 @@jeanniereenie @@Jovie62 @@kaysunshine @@Babbs @@Inner Surfer Girl - thanks for lending your electronic ears. I definitely have a great e-family here! If I knew how to PM I would Babbs - I am just heartbroken right now - Water, is the last thing on my mind...

Edited August 25, 2015 by jane13

[jeanniereenie 177]

@@jane13 I friended you if you ever need to chat just message me , just click on the envelope at the top , i messaged you first

life happens with stuff like this and it makes us all think about our old coping habits, know you arent alone

[jane13 2,256]

@@jeanniereenie son goes in front of judge Wednesday. hubby says no to him coming back home....if he gets released. past few weeks have been bell.

Edited September 27, 2015 by SLIPSHOD

[jane13 2,256]

*hell

[kaysunshine 47]

That's a hard pill to swallow. I'm a mother too and protecting ones child is just basic instinct. I'm sure most would agree. I have no words of wisdom for you. I can olny pray that you and your family get through this. I have learned in life the things we fear the most might just be what we need for a better out come. Most of us learn from our mistakes especially if there's no one there to fix our mistakes. I hope you and your marriage can withstand this bump in the road.

But I do understand your husbands method.

Good Luck to you all!!!