Need support & feedback...

[jordantaylor 51]

Hi all,

I haven't been on here in quite a while. I was sleeved may 26th and I'm down 56 lbs. I feel like I should have lost more by now, and it's made worse by the fact that I'm really struggling emotionally with all the changes and I know I'm doing a lot of things wrong.

Before surgery, I had just gotten to the point where my recovery from depression and anxiety was solid enough for me to start working full time again. Most other parts of my life are wonderful- I'm getting married October 17, my job is very fulfilling, etc.

I'm just really angry at this surgery and the process. I've been in therapy for a few years now, and my therapist is helping me to cope with the emotions and make changes, but I'm impatient and really afraid I'll sabotage myself before I get to the point where I'm doing better with eating.

I've noticed that some of my pre-surgery habits have returned, and that scares me. The only saving grace is that I don't eat nearly as much as before. I also hardly ever drink anything with calories and I'm pretty good about Water, so that's helped.

I wish there was a way to find treatment for eating disorders that's geared towards people who've had surgery. I feel very alone, like I'm one of very few who can't "get it together" after surgery and accomplish great things. I beat myself up so bad!

Has anyone else gone through anything similar? What has helped you?

Sorry for the Negative Nancy post! I'm not sure where else to go for support.

[beba238 123]

Hi @@jordantaylor congrats on the 56 lb weight loss.. It's very understanding to feel the way you do. I am 2 years 1/2 post op and I would like to tell you that it's normal. I've had my days where i wanted to eat my whole life away. Days during the holidays when there were food everywhere. It was hard to keep away from the bad things. What motivated me was keep a goal & non scale victory list. I have it saved to my computer and was excited to visit it a few weeks ago. I will share it with you. Plz send me your email by pm. 56lbs is about 3 toddlers lol.

I had surgery in March 2013... A friend of mine had surgery on Aug 2013... By Sept I was barely 50lbs down and my friend had already lost over 100lbs. Everyone is different. You just need to remember the reasons why you wanted this. Motivation should be your wedding. Look at some nice sexy dresses. Pic a few and make it your goal by losing one dress size to fit into it. Also remember u are also losing inches so remember to measure yourself every month. Seeing your therapist will be even better to continue. Socialize with ppl who share the same goals. Birds of a feather flock together. Just don't give up and forget about gaining... That's the past and this is the present. They new you will be Skinner and healthier then the old you back in April... And your getting married how awesome is that. We are here for support so plz dnt ever hesitate to come here. Good luck.

[McButterpants 2,846]

Congrats on your weight loss.

Here's what I think - weight loss surgery patients have unrealistic expectations. I know I did. You can read from so many posts on this forum and others "I expected to lose more" "I feel like I haven't lost enough" "Others are losing faster than me"

In my original consultation with a surgeon I asked, "How much can I expect to lose?" His reply was, "I think you'll settle in around 180 pounds." "Based on what?" I asked. "Averages." My reply was, "I am not giving his an average effort, I will lose more." Where did I settle in? About 180. Now, had I known I was going to settle in at that weight, I think I probably would have decided to not have surgery because in my mind, I wanted to be 150 or lower. 150 is never going to be in the cards for me - ever. I've come to terms with that, but it has taken me a while, a lot of tears, a lot of soul searching and a lot of conversations to get to this point.

I know I could not have lost and kept off 75 pounds without this surgery. I am healthier today than I have been in my adult life. Most of all, I am happier. I've lost 75% of what I wanted to lose going into this. I have had to fight hard for each fraction of a pound I've lost because I've destroyed my metabolism trying every fad diet on the market.

Keep your chin up. Keep battling your personal demons. Relish in your successes. Feel good about what you've done to change your life.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Congrats on all the positives you have; 56lbs is an excellent weight loss. Remember not to compare yourself to others, we all lose at different pace.

As for you concerns with ED habits, touch base with your medical team, or seek out counseling now. Even if it's just 1 or 2 sessions for a quick tune up, it better than regressing to bad habits. Especially with an impending wedding that cn bring it's own special set of stressors.