My dad and his wife....

[Ms. Nunya 126]

I would not tell him. I think things will be simpler that way. You are going to have enough to deal with without additional pressure from his wife.

[choosehope 233]

I have to admit to getting a bit teary as I read all of your thoughtful responses to my post! Thank you for sharing your insights and caring! I guess I should have mentioned that I am single and don't have children, so my dad and my two sibs are my primary support system. We also all live within about five miles of each other and get together fairly frequently. In fact, we will be celebrating my dad's birthday dinner and my brother's birthday dinner both during my liver shrink diet. Don't expect that to be too big of an issue.

I think that the hardest thing is that I feel it's a matter of integrity. I've never deliberately kept something from my dad. It feels like I am telling him a half truth that may hurt him if he later finds out. Of course, I have to decide what's more important to me - complete honesty with my dad or keeping information from his wife so that there are clear boundaries, knowing that I can't do both at the same time. I wish I had the gumption that some of you seem to have in saying to heck with her and telling her to back off, but I guess I'm not that fully actualized yet! lol! Also, it could also start a cold war in the family. Dad should never have to chose between his wife and his daughter.

As many of you have pointed out, even though we are close, it is my life and future. And I keep replaying what I have seen many write on this forum - "you can never untell someone." Still don't know what I'm going to do, but feel much better for having the chance to talk with others about it!

Best wishes and prayers to all of you who have said you are in similar situations. I'm here for any of you who want some support!

[Cervidae 2,389]

Whatever you choose to do and whatever happens as a consequence of that choice, the people here, myself included, support you and care about you. Everything will be great in the end.

[newmebithebypass 713]

i chose to tell my very opinonated dad and his reaction was nothing no reaction. now weather or not he tells my step mother is a whole other ball game. she is a real piece of work. i cant stand her to be honest but my father loves her so i put up with her to keep the peace. she has mellowed in her old age. i will make a formal announcement about my surgery next year at thanksgiving once i am 5 months out so no one can try to sway my decision but thats just me