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Happy to hear you are going to do something to help yourself!! Perhaps you should talk to a professional in regards to your ambivalence? May be a reason that staying at the weight you are now, is working for you. You may need to fix that part of you before you move forward otherwise it, & by "it" i mean whatever you decide to do to lose weight, may not work until you deal with your emotional issues (feel there is a reason you shouldn't). Sometimes things happened which keep us heavy. I know one of my issues is men, as I had a very abusive marriage. As soon as I start losing weight, which also increases my sel confidence, & I end up wearing the nicer clothes, men start looking at me with interest. That terrifies me so I find it easier to hide behind my extra weight. It's taken years of yo yo dieting with this being a big issue, until I started to deal with it...to admit my problem & realize how I was the one that had the control in what happens. So with that understanding (hey I still get scared but will have to face my demons), I have decided to do it for me, my health, my quality of life & quit hiding. I control my life more than any other human being & I WILL take care of me, for me. Good luck to you!!

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Honestly what made me finally pull the trigger and have the surgery was that my husband carries our health insurance and his paid for it. But he works for a company that is in talks to do a merger with another company after a failed merger and who knows what the insurance will be like when they merge.

Right now we have major insurance coverage at a really good price with a low co-pay, low deductible and low maximum OOP. But that could all change.

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