She purposly sabatoged me!!!!

[deanna 1]

Date Posted: Today at 04:27 PM - Comments (0)

Yesterday we had a cookout with my fiance's family for the 4th, and we had a good time. HOWEVER... His sister and I get along great, she's a big girl,too, but once in a while I catch her doing things to try and trip me up. Sometimes I think she's jealous of me "stealing" her baby brother. I'll catch her glaring at me when she thinks I'm not looking, and weird things like that.

I've been trying to get her to come be banded with me, but she kind of shrugs it off, and I think it's because she is one of those people who enjoys having somthing to be upset about, if that makes sense. Well I made it clear that I didn't want any of my trigger foods brought to the house, because it's no secret that I just began my pre-op diet and have been doing AWESOME.

Well we took a walk to the beach, and on the way back, she stopped into the grocery store for some "things". She comes out with smartfood popcorn...

I didn't really think much of it, because hell, I was excited, it's my favorite junkfood! Well, she kept saying things like "you were doing great on your diet until I came over,huh?"...and stuff like that. I didn't think anything of it until after they went home and she insisted the smartfood stay at my house. I walked into the kitchen to talk to my fiance,he looked at me with my arm in the bag, and all of a sudden it registered.

She did it on PURPOSE!!!!

The psychiatrist told me that it would happen at my pre-op evaluation. She said some people can't handle that you're changing the dynamic of your relationship with them, or that they're insecure of themselves and will want to keep me down... I didn't think it would reallly happen to me, though!!!!!!

Has that happened to anyone else????

[Chris_NJ 9]

Yes yes yes ! lol My GF who is now pretty supportive of me loves to throw zingers once in awhile. I get the comments on how she misses us going out to the ice cream store and how she misses us going out to the store to get junk food for movie nights. Mind you she is as thin as a rail and can eat junk food and not gain an ounce :cry but me on the other hand will gain weight quickly.

[deanna 1]

hahaha..ouch...the skinny girlfriend sabatoging! How do you deal? Do you brush it off and ignore it or confront it?

[Chris_NJ 9]

I used to confront her about it, but I realized she is just being insecure and as time passes she is being more and more supportive of me.

[aubrie 6]

Thank GOD my best friend is banded. Funny, she was banded almost a year before she told me. (we don't live in the same town) I tend to be a health nut, and she's addicted to junk food. So she didn't tell me. I asked her about what she thought if I got banded and she busted out laughing. Then she told me. So we'll be bandsisters. She's going with me for surgery. Hubby will too of course. As for sabatoge, my mom is the one that is doing that. I told her I changed my mind so she would get off my back!!

[Marimaru 7]

Wow, I would probably have to muster up some strength and confront her. What does your fiance say?? Maybe HE could say something to her, seeing as she's his sister...

The thing about not mentioning anything, is that she'll think she got away with it without you noticing, and do it again, probably bigger. I don't know if she's normally vindictive or anything, but jealousy can do weird things to people...

[TexasBecky 1]

We are constantly going to have to deal with temptations - some by deliberate saboteurs and some that just come our way with no ill intent. I know it is frustrating, but probably better to deal with your own feelings and reactions than making an issue with your future sister-in-law. I don't think it is a good idea to put your fiance in the middle between you and his sister. Knowledge is power. Now that you know she is going to try and sabotage you you will be prepared to resist her evil schemes! Good luck.

[derbygirl 0]

Yes, been there, done that. Lost my "best friend" a month after being banded. Weird thing is that she had bypass. Get ready--there's more to come from her and other people, too. I can't talk about my journey anywhere except here and in my own personal journal. My mother has even changed. I was always the biggest friend and family member. People are having a hard time adjusting to the fact that they are now the biggest. And people who used to eat with you are going to get annoyed because they're going to feel like pigs when you eat together. Unfortunately, it just goes with the territory. I would recommend not attending any functions or outings for the next couple of months. Why submit yourself to that sort of pressure?

[valzie 0]

Hi Deanna- Your future sister-in-law is probably not jealous of you and her brother. She most likely is jealous that you are taking control of your weight and she can't or hasn't. She may come around and decide to get banded also but that will have to be her decision. Just hang in there. You are doing a good job. Recognizing that she is doing this is half the battle. As far as the popcorn I would throw it away or take it to work and share with others that will enjoy it. Good luck to you!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I used to confront her about it, but I realized she is just being insecure and as time passes she is being more and more supportive of me.

My sis is the skinny person in my life that is like that.

I thought about it long and hard before surgery and came up with a plan. I approached her as though I wanted advice from my big sister about having surgery. I told her of my frustrations and inability to do it on my own and asked her for help. At first she said NO to surgery, she was really upset but she was thinking I was considering bypass, she didn't understand the band or what it is all about.

After she understood the type of procedure she was all for it. She's now become my biggest supporter. She tells me all the time how proud she is of me, asks me all the time how much I have lost, and best of all... she told our oldest sister. She was telling me today that she called our other sister and rubbed it in that I have lost 80lbs and getting geared up for plastic surgery. (I don't get along with my oldest sister AT ALL.) When she found out that I am getting a breast lift/implants and a TT I guess she was pretty upset.

HA! I had to laugh, my oldest sister is nasty and pissy, she's always been very critical of my weight and now she's the fat one of the three of us. Apparently within an hour of the telephone conversation she joined WW.

Sometimes life is just really really good!

I have to admit, my friends have been great. Nobody has tried to mess with my weight loss. I have also noticed that I'm spending a lot more time with banded people so that helps too.

[sherilynn 1]

Hey Deanna,

Remember...if you LET her sabotage you, she can and will. Sad fact of life. One thing, since I was in HIGH SCHOOL...that I've always said - there are plenty of people out there in this world that will put you down. Never let yourself be one of those people. Sure, everyone has an 'off day'...but I've never been one to pick out my flaws, complain how fat I am, etc. Just show your confidence, even if you have to FAKE it. Yup, become an actress - and eventually, like self talk...you'll see how quickly you can squash the saboteurs!

Good luck!

Sheri

[Devana 0]

Deanna, I've been set up and sabotaged in other areas of my life and the interesting thing, and this is what I sense from your post, is my absolute surprise and astonishment that it happened. It's still hard for me to believe that anyone would deliberately do that to another person.

[nume130 0]

For me I think the sabotage will come financially. I am self pay 15,000. So far I have not told anyone in my family that I am saving for this. I have booked my date for Oct 5. My daughters know that I am considering it and have been researching it and that I went for a consult. I am going to save secretly. I will tell my H then. I know that sounds devious but our history is established. Anyone else have financial sabotage?

[TerriDoodle 6]

We are constantly going to have to deal with temptations - some by deliberate saboteurs and some that just come our way with no ill intent. I know it is frustrating, but probably better to deal with your own feelings and reactions than making an issue with your future sister-in-law. I don't think it is a good idea to put your fiance in the middle between you and his sister. Knowledge is power. Now that you know she is going to try and sabotage you you will be prepared to resist her evil schemes! Good luck.

I agree with Texas Becky. Nobody MADE you stick your hand in that bag. You cannot put the blame on her for your decisions. Take responsibility for your own choices and you will go farther, faster. You could have just as easily told her, "Well, if you don't want the popcorn it will be going in the garbage. Are you sure you don't want to take it home?".....and if she said no, straight to the garbage it should have gone. I think you'd have made more progress with her that way rather than "confronting her"...y'know? She would see that you are strong and determined. Perhaps you might even inspire her!

All that being said, I AM sorry you have to deal with someone like that but as others have said, it won't be the first time and you can't go around confronting people all the time because you perceive that they are out to get you!

Don't worry....it'll get easier!

[kland 0]

I realized when I first started this journey that I would be tempted every.single.day. My girlfriend came over the other night and offered to bring pizza. I told her that was great....DH and the kids would love it. She stopped and said, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I forgot about your band." I told her it was no problem, that I had to be able to stay away from those foods without everyone being my food police. She's had the bypass, so she totally understood.

I've always been very successful at sabotaging myself. I'll take full responsibility for it and won't blame anyone else.