Alcoholic beverages

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Agreed. I've never heard of a job that forces one to drink or they'll get fired. You can be social and around alcohol without drinking yourself. For someone to go so far as to remove an internal organ but then to break one of the most basic rules of success sounds like a dependancy issue. Just like food addiction, it needs to be addressed.

I know for me, being overweight was a constant process of making deals with myself. "Just one can't hurt" or "I'll only eat half, that won't be soooooooo bad". But what 30 years of obesity has taught me is it's never just one and there's NO way that other half will get thrown away.

Especial given that one of the posters here said they won't drink without their spouse because they make bad food decisions when they drink??

Red flag. Red flag. Red flag.

Everyone here is a grown adult responsible for their own decisions. But going into this with the mind set that "just one is okay" is setting yourself up for total failure.

Dependency issues? Red flag X 3? Total failure?

Put a weight ticker up. Seriously.

[Roxie Malone 10]

Dependency issues? Red flag X 3? Total failure?

Put a weight ticker up. Seriously

I'll share how I choose. Seriously. Everyone is entitle to their option and everyone had been really nice about that. Until now. What a bully. You'd think here of all places people wouldn't demand someone's weight as if what they've lost our gained is an indicator of their value. Wow.

[rp1980 116]

@roxiemalone I put that I wanted my husband with me when I drank because the surgeon and NUT stressed that you don't know how alcohol will affect you when you first start drinking. I want it as a safety precaution and to make sure I make responsible choices until I know how my sleeve tolerates alcohol. Not a red flag, just being safe! Alcohol can be enjoyed responsibly. It seems like you have a stricter surgeon's plan, which is fine. I'm just glad that my plan allows for a drink or two, since I got the sleeve to enjoy life to the fullest and healthiest in the manner that I want. Good luck - I know I'm doing great and love my sleeve!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Roxie Malone ... it's not *your* value I'm interested in, but the value of your comments and advice to others.

When someone is as judgmental as you were earlier about others' options and choices, it's good for readers to know if you've had WLS yet and how you're doing, while presumably following your own advice.

Have you had WLS yet?

[Roxie Malone 10]

@Roxie Malone ... it's not *your* value I'm interested in, but the value of your comments and advice to others.

When someone is as judgmental as you were earlier about others' options and choices, it's good or readers to know if they've had WLS yet and how they're doing.

I'm not a number including my age, how much I make, my weight, my clothing size, how many months ago I had WLS, or any other number. I'm doing great, thanks for being so supportive - and I will continue to show concern when someone states that 1. not drinking is absolutely not an option and 2. they NEED to be supervised when they drink because they make poor choices when drinking. If that offends you, scroll on by.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

OK, I think I understand now.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@Roxie Malone

Please, just stop. I remember having your judgemental, holier than thou attitude pre surgery and early after. Then good ol karma had a way of shutting me up. Just like with anything, until you've walked in that persons shoes, there's really not a lot of credence to your rant.

The only time I get concerned about others drinking is in the very early stages of healing when there's a chance of physical harm. After that, we each have our own journey and our own way of doing it. It's really not for us to judge how each person chooses to live their lives. Guidance and support? Maybe differing opinions? Sure! But downright judgement and assumptions about someone because of their choices? Not cool. ESPECIALLY when you haven't even walked the walk yet!

[Roxie Malone 10]

You don't know what I've walked either, just like in your own little rant.

I only know what someone posts and go off that information. Someone stated "I need someone around me when I drink because I make really poor food choices". My response was "Perhaps alcohol shouldn't be a factor at all then."

If the very mention of living without alcohol is a threat, then I think it requires some deeper self-analysis. Just an opinion.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Roxie, I apologize for my curt response earlier on.

I've since read your dozen or so prior posts and now appreciate that you've not had the most supportive pre-op situation, that you're only a week post-op, and that you've had some (understandable) high anxiety about your own WLS.

But if you start out here by telling people that your way / your values is the only way to proceed WLS you will not find wide support here either. A lot of people here do drink alcohol post-op. But most of them do so rarely and not early on. As you'll also learn, surgeons' instructions are considerably divergent, one from the other, about so many things.

BTW, if you found this very mild alcohol thread tough going, go read the ones on marijuana.

People here have a wide range of values and lifestyle preferences. Your way will be your way. Theirs will be theirs.

Please consider this just some kind advice about how to find a home here. And I wish you the VERY best results possible from your own WLS.

[Babbs 14,681]

Well @@Roxie Malone, looking at your stats, it looks like you have not had WLS yet. That's what I was referring to when I said your "walk". I apologize if I'm not correct about that.

If you haven't had WLS yet, I hope when you do you realize that it's not going to be as black and white as you would like to think it is. Because if you do, you're in for a long, disappointing journey.

Good luck to you.

[rp1980 116]

@RoxieMalone If you haven't had a supportive WLS experience, I can see how having my husband around might seem strange to you then. My husband is my biggest cheerleader, he notices when I'm eating too fast or not drinking enough and is quick to tell me to slow down or drink up! Sometimes to my chagrin, lol. So of course he's going to be around when I start occasionally drinking alcohol. And he'll be a big help in keeping me on track, just like he is now! If you are really only a week post-op, I hope your recovery is going well. Things may look a little different when you are 4 1/2 months post op, like I am. Good luck.

[Roxie Malone 10]

It's *awesome* that you have someone there that's supportive. I was just going off the little info you felt like sharing - as you rightfully should. I didn't mean to sound judgmental and you have my sincere apology if I did - words have no tone in typing. I was just giving an option that seems obvious to me but apparently isn't even to be considered.

What I find so interesting is the manipulative, passive aggressive and hostile responses. I'm not ashamed of my journey thus far but the need for someone to dig it up and publish it for the entire thread...? Crosses a line in a scary way. At best it's bullying behavior, meant to shame someone into thinking their opinion has no value and at worst, is dangerous and shows a pathological need to control and manipulate. Either way, I don't feel comfortable or safe staying on this forum which is so so sad given what bariatricpal was designed to do for people.

I wish you all the best.

[laneydasilva 34]

We all here to be supportive and to help each other! I know I feel like I learn so much from all. Please don't leave everyone opinion matters ????????

[LipstickLady 25,682]

What I find so interesting is the manipulative, passive aggressive and hostile responses. I'm not ashamed of my journey thus far but the need for someone to dig it up and publish it for the entire thread...? Crosses a line in a scary way. At best it's bullying behavior, meant to shame someone into thinking their opinion has no value and at worst, is dangerous and shows a pathological need to control and manipulate.

I totally disagree. I often look at someone's previous posts if I feel their words are interesting/out of left field/questionable/humorous/ very wise/etc -- ESPECIALLY if they are very new or have very few posts. Doing so gives me context on their mind set and experiences so I can more understand their point if view.

I personally think the words "bully", "manipulate", "shame" are being very much overused lately and do not apply here. In fact, I find their very use (along with the words dangerous and pathological) a bit manipulative/bullying in and of themselves.

[brandeett 52]

I don't think anyone is trying to find ways to cheat. A simple question was asked. Geez