Should I cancel my surgery? Help!

[Nibbler 71]

I'm scheduled for my sleeve surgery Sept. 9. It will include gall bladder removal.

Complication.....daughter is in hospital with bed restriction, she is 25 weeks pregnant and has a ruptured amniotic sac on Baby A, she is expecting twins. She has been in the hospital three weeks already and as long as she doesn't go into labor she could be there 60 more days before they will induce. (Oct. 11).

I live three hours to hospital. She needs my support. Is it feasible to think that after one week recoup post surgery i will be able to drive that far (will I have the energy?)

I don't have to leap tall buildings with a single bound but i do need to be available to support my daughter. If these babies decide to make an early appearance. I know the babies will be in the hospital for awhile. We had a family meeting and everyone wants me to go ahead but that little voice that everyone tells you to listen to is yelling at me to cancel. Will i be able to focus on food prep?

It would be nice if I could do something for myself ONCE. but life is messy sometimes.

I just don't know what the right answer is.

Also wondering if I will have to go thorough with all the stuff to re-quailfy with my insurance company if i should cancel.

There is a good chance that one or both of these babies will be born with big complications. Will I be able to pay enough attention to myself and still help my daughter?

Looking for a crystal ball I guess : > (

[GirlOnFire 111]

Personally i would cancel. The recovery is different for everyone and it took me longer than most to be able to do even the most simple things without being exhausted.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I would ask your daughter what she thinks. Personally, I would not cancel. Life is always throwing curveballs at you... if you put plans on hold until the curveballs stop, you'll never live your life.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

This is a tough call, but my initial reaction is that I would go ahead and do it. Why? Because even if you need a week or two to recover, and barring any major complications, you should be better and healthier sooner than if you put off the surgery.

It sounds like your daughter and the new babies are going to need you a great deal and being physically healthier will help you to help them.

I don't know your starting point, but I started at an extremely high weight and have mobility issues. Fortunately I had an easy recovery so started to see improvements in my mobility and energy right away.

Only you know for sure, but based on what you have shared so far, I vote you go ahead.

Keep us posted on how you and your family are doing.

[ITGeekGirl 32]

Part of me says "Cancel and be there for your daughter" - but Sharon is right. Life is always going to keep throwing things at you. I plan on going back to work a week after my surgery (I work in an office) - if all you have to do is be there, I'm sure your daughter won't mind if you are a little sluggish.

[MarciaN 391]

I would check with your insurance company. Mine allows the surgery to take place within 6 months of approval. That way you would have peace of mind in making your decision. If you delay, that doesn't mean that you can't continue to lose weight before the surgery. It will make the surgery that much easier when you have it. Good luck! My daughter just had a baby two weeks ago and is still in the hospital. Caring for a little one is exhausting and you are the only one who can make this difficult decision.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

I would get it done.Once and for all.If it was Bypass I would say cancel.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

You sound like the lovely kind of person who is always thinking of others while diminishing her own needs. I would go through with the surgery. I had mine done at the age of 62, with many co-morbidities, and was really only at my worst for a couple of days until the anesthesia wore off. Sure, I was tired for a long time, but was able to toodle around and go on with my life. It did not take long to begin feeling better every day.

[EricaKane 7]

My vote is to have to have your surgery, just think you'll feel better and be able to move around more to help you daugther and new grand babies, and from what you are telling us you and your daughter have a strong support system (family) and I'm sure your daughter will understand! If you work out before your surgery you'll bounce back fast from the surgery. Even if it's walk in only 30-40 minutes every other day will help you before the surgery. Talk to your daughter ask her and I'm pretty sure she would say go ahead with your life changing surgery so that you can live a happier healthier life and to be around longer for her and those new grand babies!! Good luck on whatever you decide.

[Granny Barbie 41]

After gallbladder surgery, I was able to take a 7 hour drive to see family the next day and after my surgery, I was driving the next week. My Dr ordered home health for 3 weeks to make sure I was walking and doing ok. No lifting for awhile. But it is ultimately up to you. Talk to your daughters doctor and to your surgeon. You also will need moral support to figure out what to do. Get it done now you will be ready to go when the babies get here, put it off until things are running smooth again and you may never get the surgery. I'll be praying for you to do the right thing and for your daughter and the babies! Good luck! God Bless you!

[JosieAppleHead 74]

Personally I think you can help her more if you are healthier. Before surgery I felt like I was about to have a heart attack and immediately after the surgery I felt 100% better, even though I was in pain (all because of the long scar) I was better after surgery than before.

Plus it sounds like you give a lot of yourself and your family knows that you ALWAYS put yourself last and they are insisting that you take care of you. In addition it sounds like a little fear maybe in place as well.

This is the one time you need to focus on you and don't be afraid of a surgery that these professionals have been performing for more than 20 plus years. (if thats the case)

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Listen if you fool around and not get that gall bladder out there will be trouble.If you cancel then you will you have it done?You...have to take it as it comes.Please take care of yourself first then in turn you will continue to be there for everyone else,most importantly your daughter.

Gallbladder and Sleeve done!

Good Luck.Keep us posted!

[rp1980 116]

I wish all the best for your daughter and that those babies stay nice and warm in there for another two months! I understand why you are hesitant, but I wouldn't plan around the "what ifs." I was back at work in six days. I would have had no problems driving three hours. Everyone's recovery is different but a week or two of recovery is still before the babies will hopefully be born. I postponed my surgery for a month so I could have it over spring break and not take any leave. While I think it was a good decision, I look at people sleeved in March and think that I could be further a long than I am. Good luck with your decision and journey!

[Nibbler 71]

i see that i have 12 replies but for some reason i cannot open page one of this thread. This is my first posting on this website. When i click on page one i get a very long blank page with an icon for "featured surgeon" and can't seem to close it. i am assuming all your posts are hiding behind it.....thanks for your responses. I can't however read them : ( I do see the last two entries on page two. Thank you for your responses.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Welcome Nibbler