What would you do?

[mommyfrog3 41]

Thanks for the info

Edited September 1, 2015 by mommyfrog3

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

@@mommyfrog3

I understand you care for your friend. She is an adult. She is responsible for her own behavior. If it was me. I would not talk to her about her choices. Can't change other people.

[LessOfMe0503 157]

Does she eat like that all the time or was it a one time birthday meal?

Either way, I would steer clear of directly addressing it. Surgery is a physical fix, not a mental one- I'm only 5 days out but the mental battles have been big.

Perhaps instead of addressing her shortcomings, enlist her help in your journey. Bring up things you are worried about and ask what her surgeon/NUT said.

[Babbs 14,681]

I agree with @jenn1. You do your journey, let her do hers. If she fails, she fails. No reflection on you whatsoever.

Have your sugery and lead by example. Show her how it's done!

[jane13 2,256]

@@LessOfMe0503 - good suggestion about asking what her surgeon/nut said.

@@mommyfrog3 - but like @@jenn1 said - you can't change other people.

She only ate an 1/8 of a plate, not a great decision for food either IMO, but she may have "binged" that day to Celebrate. You didn't say how she was doing as far as losing weight, eating her Protein, drinking Water, etc. Maybe that's all it was - a B'day celebration.

[ylluz 151]

I have a friend she was sleeved a year ago and she is gaining weight already she is always eating out and drinking alcohol I truly think she is depressed had a divorce right after surgery and many life changes. I did mention to her that she didnt go through all those hoops and almost a year of prep to gain it all back and hopefully she will do something about it.

[AvaFern 3,516]

My advice would be to mind your business and to keep your thoughts about her food choices to yourself. I regularly go out to eat and order normal food. I, like your friend, eat maybe 1/8 the meal which almost never adds up to more than 200 calories if even that. The majority of the time I eat healthily, but the rest of the time I eat what I want to. I have maintained under goal for several months and ultimately it's about calories in and calories out. There is nothing wrong with having Mexican food, especially when you eat less in calories than a person is eating who orders a healthy entree and eats the entire thing.

I can also say that if anyone ever made a comment about what I was ordering I would feel EXTREMELY self conscious about eating in front of them to the point that I would likely avoid meals with them. I think your intentions may be good, but when it comes to food and people with food problems, the only person who should be talking to them about it is their doctor. They have a mirror, a scale, and likely the knowledge to understand their food choices. When someone else makes a comment it just embarrasses them, hurts them, and will make them defensive and closed off even when your intentions were good.

[JamieLogical 8,710]

I have certainly had my share of "bad" foods since my surgery and if you caught me on one of those days, at one of those meals, you might think I'm a big fat failure as well. But I actually eat on plan 90% of the time and work out like crazy and always get my 100 grams of Protein in. ALWAYS.

So seeing her eat maybe less than perfect food on her birthday doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. Now, if she really is eating that way every day and not getting her Protein in and not working out at all, I might start to worry for her.