This may come across as narcissistic

[TXMissy 211]

I didn't look for approval of my surgery. I did it for me. I'm reaping the benefits by leaps and bounds. I am following the plan and it's paying off. I had a lot of people were upset with because I didn't tell them. It was my decision. The people who had to know, knew. It was the other 75% that I could really not care whether they knew or not. I was so worried I would be talked out of it. I did have a cousin who was and is furious with me to this day because I went against what she wanted me to. It isn't a secret anymore. I get questions all the time. Compliments can be awkward at times. I just keep saying you are set up to break the goals, keep going! Just remember the reasons you chose the surgery.

[QuilterGal 216]

I didn't tell a lot of people about my surgery, but virtually all those who did know have reached out to me to see how I was doing. My coworker and neighbor sent flowers. But again, I told people with whom I am very close. Every situation is different.

[agwj71 45]

Thank you for all of your responses. I guess I always expect people to be like me. IF I know someone who has had a hospital visit I usually check in and see how they are doing or at least let them know that they are in my thoughts. My first go around was when I had the lapband put in and I didn't tell anyone except immediate family in fear of being judged. This go around, i am taking the bull by the horns and have no shame for what I have chosen to do with my life. I guess I just expected a little support from the people who I thought care about me. I'm sure they do care but it may be uncomfortable/awkward for them.

When my last child was born via C Section I was in the hospital for a week. One of my very best friends didn't call, come by or send anything. TWO WEEKS after I was home she called. Still didn't ask how I was doing, she needed something. So now I'm lighter one "friend".

[Cdominguez 26]

All I got was why did you do this we love you the way you are etc... Wish they didn't say anything at all smh

[Junebug1971 41]

I am lucky. I have a very good support group. My husband and my mom are my biggest fans. Along with my nieces and brother and sister-n-law. All supportive. I only told a few close friends. Honestly the think people look at it as an "easy out". It's anything but that. I didn't do this out of vanity or for attention. I had major surgery to improve my health. Things were spiraling out of control. I'm sorry you didn't have a support group but focus on the fact that you are going to be better. That will be all that matters.

[SPettijo 40]

I have a similar experience with a someone who's been a friend for 15 years now. The day I had surgery Three friends showed up along with my family. Now I don't remember much of the day but I apparently started crying because My friend D didn't show up/call/text anything. It was three weeks later that I finally heard from her after asking one of her coworkers/another friend of mine if she was okay. Then I got a flurry of text messages and a 20 minute phone call that was nothing but excuses(it's the phone company's fault) and false promises. Obviously we're having problems beyond this incident. But it still hurts. We've undergone these massive life changing surgeries and to not have people ask if we're alright just feels like they don't care.