Passing For Thin - Support Thread for Those Approaching Goal

[HonkyTonks 0]

I really relate to what one of the above posters talks about in terms of body image issues. I am not yet down to my goal weight, I am about 10kg off but I'm told I should be really happy with how I look and that I look wonderful - but I still obsess over my weight.. I used to be 155kg's and I feel like if I stopped obsessing I'll slip and end up back where I started. I know this isn't really likely, but that's my fear everytime I eat a 'bad' food (despite trying to remind myself that there's no bad foods, just moderation)

There are days when I still feel as dissatisfied with how I look as I did 2 years ago at my biggest and I know it's irrational but it's just the way you feel some days.

I don't know really how to kind of accept that I look this way now, and I'm attractive and fine and shouldn't worry any more...

[TheGh0st 9]

There are days when I still feel as dissatisfied with how I look as I did 2 years ago at my biggest and I know it's irrational but it's just the way you feel some days.

I don't know really how to kind of accept that I look this way now, and I'm attractive and fine and shouldn't worry any more...

I feel just the same. But every once in a while I wonder... Is there really any one out there that just accepts the way they look now? Even the ones that have been skinny all there lives? Haven't we all heard "them" talking about how they need to lose this pound or two or tighten this muscle or that? All the while we were thinking how happy we would be if only we were that size.

And yet now as we are approaching or even surpassing those same women we use to hate hearing complain we find ourselves still complaining too. Maybe the worries and complaining never reallly ends for any of us. Its a sobering and sad thought that we may never completely quiet those voices. But maybe the voices just get a little softer, a little more bearable, and eventually can be considered no more than a new tool to help keep us from ever going down that old destructive path again.

But, personally I hope I'm wrong and those infernal voices will SHUT UP once and for all at some point.

[JulieNYC 4]

I don't think I'll ever be completely happy with my body, but I don't really mind. I think it's normal on some level -- like you're all saying, "normal" women all want to change something about themselves. For us, it'll be loose skin here or a stretch mark there. It's not going to get in the way of me feeling fabulous most of the time. Only if it does that will I worry about it.

What I'm struggling with right now in the world of "passing for thin" is wrestling with how much male attention it takes to make me happy. I HATE relying on others for my happiness. I HATED the concept, when I was heavy, of women who are all "do I look fat in these jeans" because to me it's a sign of needing compliments from men. Yet, here I sit in those exact shoes now. I want to love myself enough that I don't need so much attention. I wonder if that day will come.

[guysis 0]

Julie - what can I say! Why did you go thru with the band surgery, the PS, why do you push your body thru all the pain (feeling good - ya, right) of exercise! Did you do and will you continue to do all that for "health reasons" alone? Compliments from men, compliments from women - looking decent/gorgeous in clothes - feeling great about the extra-ordinary year that you have had...................it's a natural "want" of life.............to look good in the eyes of others - be it in our appearance or our accomplishments in other areas. The man/woman thingy - it's a natural obsession - (for some of us that is)................just enjoy it!!!! Don't try to intellectualize it - it's just life basics - sex! I'm not yelling at you - just trying to help you accept it - go for it!!!!!! Sorry, if I'm out of line!!!!!

I've got it made in the shade - I've got this great guy that I've lived with forever that peeks in the shower and tells me - "I'll never get tired of looking" ------ I, like the nut that I am, say things like - "you must be really getting blind you "old guy" you"................just like a lot of the rest of you - can't be happy...............am I a jerk or what?

[DeltaDawn 0]

Julie,

I hear you. I am having to get used to having roaming eyes and sometimes hands... something that I haven't had to deal with since I was a teenager... almost makes me not want to loose anymore (almost... but then I would run slower )

I am still having to face the fact that I am almost at goal. My husband... who now I weigh less than. Is really telling me that I am almost too thin. I am not, but parts are really lean- but I have lots of loose skin that isn't going anywhere so... what's a girl to do. That of course throws off my perspective on how I look and feel.

But... I know that I am strong, healthy in good shape and doing what works for me... and you know what, that really is enough.

Betty... I have one of those wonder guys too. Always been so grand, even when I was big. Let's hold those ones close!!!

Dawn

Banded april 4th, 2006

montreal

358/163/148

[CaramelDiva1922 1]

Like all of you, I have dealt with the new body while trying to shed the thoughts of the old. At my highest 372. and when I was big in general my self esteem was through the roof. I was big, I knew that and anyone else who was looking knew it as well. But I was also smart, outgoing, assertive, and fun to be around as well. When I was big my thought was "I have everything that a skinny woman does just more, and better, and if you can't see that "Shame on you", NEXT!!!! " Now that I am among that "average", or "normal" size. I find that I am always looking again to try to hide, tuck, or camoflage this new body. I mostly think that it is the sagging skin that gets me down. I am a size 12 now, and I know that if I could afford to have plastic surgery that I would surely be a 7 or 8. Not that I am not happy with the size, but sometimes the way clothes fits, and mostly my boobs. That look like two hound dogs ears at a fight with no bra. Before I had big beautiful boobs, and they were my joy and biggest assest. I miss them terribly, never thought I would, but I do. Now I find myself wondering where all the men are. It seems harder to me now that I am thin to meet men than it was when I was bigger Then I could pick and choose, and now there is no choice. What's a girl to do.

[socalgal3 4]

I accidentally posted this on WASA's OMG thread, so I'll repost here!

I've read this thread but never posted. I guess I felt like I didn't "belong" here because my goal seems so far away. But lately, this has been hitting me pretty hard emotionally. People at work were calling me "skinny" yesterday and I just wanted to hide. I am so uncomfortable with all of the comments. That is one reason I chose lap-band. I knew the weight loss would be slower and hopefully elicit less comments. But, I just hit the point where people are really noticing the difference. They say things like "You don't want to lose MORE do you?" I'm thinking, I am 175 pounds! While that is so awesome compared to where I was, in what world is 175 pounds "skinny"? I still wear size 12-14 pants. My arms look really fat still. I'm glad others have had similar experiences, but it is still hard to deal with. I so don't want to be a skinny person who complains about their size, but I know I'll never feel skinny. I always feel like the other shoe will drop and I will go back to being fat. I had a scare with nearly losing my band in January, so I guess I am very aware that this could be a temporary situation. I am currently doing hypnosis and she is working on getting me to accept my success and the fact that it can be PERMANENT. Thanks for listening to my blabbering. I'm just really struggling with this right now.

[thickchickTEXAS 0]

I think is a great thread!!!!

I started off at 274 pounds size 22

current size 225 between size 16 & 14

MY GOAL WEIGHT 175 size 10 or 12

i almost get uncomfortable with the fact the so many people have notice that I have lost so much weight, whenever i have extra money to go get some new cloths i automatically go to a size 20!!!!!! My mind thinks I'm still a 20 and my body is telling me different.

How do i train my mind to accept my new size!

[TracyinKS 7]

OMG Julie you hit the 140's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats

[TheGh0st 9]

SOCAL - Keep us posted on how the hypnosis works. I'm a bit reluctant to go the counseling route (with a father that's a counselor, I have issues) But the hypnosis sound like a good idea.

Tracy - *OFFTOPIC* hey their gal. You going to make it to Malley's support group tomorrow? Hope to see you there.

[JulieNYC 4]

I wore a belt today (brown, wide, braided), for no other reason than it was a fashion accessory that looked good with my outfit. Wearing a belt feels like passing for thin. Which is a good thing, because I've been feeling fat.

[DeltaDawn 0]

You should never feel anything but fit and lean Julie!!! Just like you are. The belt sounds great. Today I wore my husband's shirt to work... he is lean so I felt great. I wore it with my size 12 gap jeans, that I was told are just too big!!

Hope you are all feeling thin and wonderful.

Dawn

Banded Arpil 4th, 2006

Montreal

358/163/148

[JulieNYC 4]

Better go buy some size 8 jeans, Dawn. If other people are telling you the 12s are too big, that means you can probably skip the 10s!

[Boo 3]

A wide belt worn well is definitely a sign you are "passing for thin!"

I wore a fitted red jersey wrap dress with heels last night. I giggled inside when I noticed men's heads turning, then I just walked a bit taller and pretended not to notice.

I can't wear the dress if my weight is up two pounds, though, because I feel too fat. This plateau is definitely stubborn, but on the bright side, I'm not gaining!

[Boo 3]

BTW, Tracy!!! You look GREAT!