Passing For Thin - Support Thread for Those Approaching Goal

[JulieNYC 4]

....Eyeballing it I thought there was no way to get it over my hips. But it slid right up and zipped with no effort. When I looked in the mirror and turned around, there it was...a huge sagging rear of fabric! HAHAHA! The skirt is now in my "FAT CLOTHES" PILE. cAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I had a similar experience with a pair of jeans this weekend. They were the smallest pants in my closet and I remember the last time I wore them back in 1999. Tried them on yesterday (had been waiting for fear they'd still be too small) and I could take them off without unzipping them. OOPS! Body image problems, table for one!

I run in the evening, and my shadow looks really pretty, especially compared to the old one.

I love this. I'm going to try to love my shadow too then. Then it seems the natural next step is to love the reflection in the mirror, right?

Moe, I think at some point we have to listen to what the "charts" say, or our doctors say about our goal weights, because our heads can't do the job for us (then, I'm sure we can judge once we're there). What does the BMI chart say is a good weight for your height?

I admit I drink a coke sometimes, I PB maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks (from eating too fast or not chewing enough) and I take NSAIDS on the advice of my GP and band Dr in conjunction for a recurring (but slowly disappearing, yay!) back pain, its soluble and I always follow it with food, but still.... I worry that I might end up losing my band because I'm not a "perfect" bandster.

Shesays, I do all those things too, and on the advice of my doctor. I drink probably 3 diet cokes a week. My doc (who is banded) says it's medically impossible for carbonation to strech a pouch on an empty stomach. There are holes on both ends for the air to escape. He said it can make you feel funny and if it does, you might choose not to drink it, but it won't hurt you. He feels the same way about NSAIDs -- that they're bad for all stomachs, but that they're not any worse on a bandster than on a non-bandster.

Of course, the smart money on this forum is always the sage counsel of "follow what YOUR doctor says" and I believe that. For what it's worth, very reputable surgeons offer different advice (as I'm sure you know).

[TexasBecky 1]

:notagreeI've been lurking around this forum because it is just so great. I'll be banded August 2, but like so many, I have lost lots of weight many times, but just couldn't keep it off. I think it is a good idea to start working on the keeping it off part now because that is a lot of head work that I've never been able to do. I think when you spend years in a self loathing mode it is a huge adjustment to start liking yourself just because you lost weight. A therapist told me once that I have to find new things to do with all the mental energy I spend hating myself everyday for being fat. I see that you guys are having some of the same issues I always have had when I got close to goal weight (never made it t goal). Maybe it is possible to start liking myself for reasons other than outward appearances. Maybe I could treat myself with the same respect and compassion that I show to others. What a novel idea.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Shesays, I do all those things too, and on the advice of my doctor. I drink probably 3 diet cokes a week. My doc (who is banded) says it's medically impossible for carbonation to strech a pouch on an empty stomach. There are holes on both ends for the air to escape. He said it can make you feel funny and if it does, you might choose not to drink it, but it won't hurt you. He feels the same way about NSAIDs -- that they're bad for all stomachs, but that they're not any worse on a bandster than on a non-bandster.

It's so nice to see someone else's doc saying this.

The way my doc explains it is that it will not "harm" your pouch. The problem with carbonation is that your stomach is essentially picked up and sewn "up" over the band. This leaves another little pouch/pocket UNDER your band and at the top of your big stomach. The gas goes up, it fills that pocket with carbonation air bubbles and THAT is what hurts. It isn't your pouch, it is that pocket at the top of your bigger stomach.

Of course, I had to try for myself to see if it *really* hurts and for me it does. It's very painful.

The other problem I have is that when the soda hits my hot stomach it turns into instant fizz and the bubbles crawl up my throat and it feels like they are going to choke me. It wouldn't, but it feels like that. I just find it painful and uncomfortable to drink soda. Probably a good thing since I don't need it anyway.

[JulieNYC 4]

A therapist told me once that I have to find new things to do with all the mental energy I spend hating myself everyday for being fat.

That's very close to what I'm going through. I don't HATE myself, I rather like myself. But, I spend an enormous amount of mental energy on weight related issues, whether it's how to get thinner, planning my food, time on LBT, thinking about being thinner, etc. Sometime soon, I'm going to have to shift about 70% of that mental energy to something else. particularly the thinking about being thinner/how to get thinner parts.

[TexasBecky 1]

Julie, That is probably why there is such a problem with addiction transfer after people have lost large amounts of weight. When dieting, losing, gaining, etc., is no longer the focus and eating is no longer an outlet for emotions, people start looking for something else that feels good or takes their mind off their problems. I think that those of you who are enjoying running and other forms of exercise are on the right track though. Do you find that exercising does a lot for you mentally as well as physically? I know you've said before that you waited a while to start running. Did you start walking first? I'm going a little off topic now but, how did you get into the exercise groove after banding?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Julie, That is probably why there is such a problem with addiction transfer after people have lost large amounts of weight. When dieting, losing, gaining, etc., is no longer the focus and eating is no longer an outlet for emotions, people start looking for something else that feels good or takes their mind off their problems. I think that those of you who are enjoying running and other forms of exercise are on the right track though. Do you find that exercising does a lot for you mentally as well as physically? I know you've said before that you waited a while to start running. Did you start walking first? I'm going a little off topic now but, how did you get into the exercise groove after banding?

I started off verrrry slow at first, like 10 minutes at 2MPH. That was in January. Now I shoot for 100 minutes of hard cardio daily but I haven't been doing very well at that this month. I've done 70 minutes so far today so I need to get in another half hour at least. I was out of town for the weekend and have time to make up for.

Start with walking. Just walk for as long as you can. Start out at 1-2 MPH and every three days increase that by a few minutes. Or increase by one minute if necessary. Just keep increasing. Pretty soon you'll find that 1-2MPH is actually too slow and you are bored. Speed will come with time and let me tell you, when you start cardio the pounds melt away especially in the beginning. Gradually go from walking to running.

If you don't have a treadmill then go outside and just walk. Each block is 1/10th mile. Every 3 days increase by one block. It will pay off in the end.

Even 20 minutes makes a difference, 30 is better, 45 daily is ideal. Studies show it does not need to be all in one time frame, do 20 minutes at a time if need be. But just get out there and do it.

[Boo 3]

Do you find that exercising does a lot for you mentally as well as physically? I'm going a little off topic now but, how did you get into the exercise groove after banding?

Hi TexasBecky! You sound like one of us already!

The time that I spend running is a wonderful part of my week. I don't talk or listen to music. Instead, it is a time to let my mind wander and go wherever it wants to. Many problems have been analyzed, plans have been made, artistic endeavors visualized, wise words (from my friends here at LBT) have been contemplated, and blessings have been counted. It not only clears my mind of unfinished business and give opportunity to reflect, but also makes me feel powerful and proactive. Instead of feeling like a victim to my uncontrollable weight gain, I have faith and hope in my ability to choose. All of these things bring me a brighter mood. There are also endorphins that are released.

Though I have always exercised, it became less consistent as I put on weight. The way I have succeeded is through an exercise challenge thread that was started for those banded in the same month. The accountability and iprogressive ncrease in time and difficulty was what I needed. That is how I came to know Julie and Betty, and a few others here. We challenged each other and ourselves. Instinctively, I built a program for myself very similar to the couch potato to runner method. Julie used that and it is how she has become a strong runner. I totally recommend starting one for yourself!

[TexasBecky 1]

Thanks for letting me put my two cents worth in. You guys are really motivating me. I'm going to go for a walk in the morning and get this ball rolling. It certainly seems that the exercisers are getting great results. I have always enjoyed exercising in the past, but it was just part of some weight loss scheme I was on. When I stopped the diet I also stopped the exercise. Now I want to get back into exercising for the mental benefits as much as the physical and make it a permanent part of my life. Does it just blow your mind that you are now runners? Isn't that just for thin, healthy, energetic, motivated, and disciplined people? Oh yeah, you guys are all of those things! Becky

[Jachut 487]

I do believe you're really made a huge leap when you no longer link your eating behaviour with your exercise behaviour. When you find somthing you love to do so much that you do it anyway, even if you ate poorly that day, or even if you're on holidays, etc, then you will stick with it.

And I think that good exercise behaviour is probably 75% of weight maintenance. Your body is a lot more forgiving of food indiscretions when you're active. No more gaining 10lb just from Christmas day!

[Boo 3]

I do believe you're really made a huge leap when you no longer link your eating behaviour with your exercise behaviour.

Jacqui, are you talking about the days when you might eat cake and then think, "Oh, now I really have to go to the gym"? Or just counting the calories in, calories out to make sure they match up? I'm asking because it is a fascinating idea to not link the eating and exercise behaviors.

If you have time, could you please re-visit that thought?

NEW RECORD FOR ME: Ran 6 miles straight (no walking) in 57:44.

So I can run a 10K!!! It helped tremendously that I needed to blow off some steam. haha...try it!

Today I consumed approx. 850 calories and ran for an hour. And it was not an abnormal day. I better start losing again. Do you think my problem is that I operate on 4.5 hours of sleep a night? (I have this problem where I just don't want to go to sleep, kind of like a little kid not wanting to miss the excitement. That combined with taking on too many work projects and I'm just not resting my body enough.

How much sleep do you all need? Eight hours of sleeping is hard to imagine.

[Jachut 487]

No, I mean more the opposite. I always was the kind of person who'd say "oh, I ate cake today, might as well eat the rest of the cake and blow off the run and start again tomorrow". Nowadays I'll say "well, I ate cake today, so what?" and I"ll go for my run anyway because I dont just run to burn off cake, I run for all those wonderful benefits we've been discussing above, the headspace and the reflection time and the sheer joy of it. So I run (or I do my circuit) day in and day out, regardless of whether I've been "good" or "bad" with my eating and THAT's what makes weight maintenance effortless. A bad day here or there means nothing when you're very active, or that's what I've found anyway - my body no longer packs on a couple of kilograms from one meal out - it stays rock solid no matter what I eat these days. Which is a pity as I still want it to go down, lol.

[Jachut 487]

Oh, and I"m not good on less than 7 hours a night. My nights still tend to be broken too, Eliza's young enough that she wonders in to go to the toilet in the ensuite and then proceeds to lie on top of me, and gets up at the crack of dawn too, grrrr.

[tribon 0]

I, too, have just come upon this thread. What a breath of fresh air. A great place to be when you are trying to come to terms with being close to goal. I have 32 pounds to lose before I am considered to have a "normal" bmi. I find it hard to wrap my mind around because I still feel a long way from "normal." I have been obese since I was 9 years old. I was close to goal when I was 19 and gained it all back within 1 1/2 years. Being of normal weight is not even a reality in my mind yet.

I haven't broke my "fat girl" habits. I still look around the room when I go somewhere to see if I am the fattest one there. I still head straight for the plus size section in a store, only to be surprised that nothing fits. I am still very self-consious about eating in front of people (what must they think of this?!)

I feel like I have missed the boat on this running thing. I really have never considered running before. The girls aren't an issue. There's not much to these size B 1/2's! Did you all start by walking or just a slow jog? Maybe some bigger leg muscles would help my sagging thighs!

[lianna 3]

I just found this thread! What a great idea to have a place to deal with the issues that crop up when you get to/close to goal. I am in limbo with my weight.... I am actually very happy where I am at, but I am so focused on the darn BMI number that I am obsessing over this last 5-10 lbs. And it aint budging, lol. I have been banded long enough that most things are just second nature by now... I rarely feel "guilt" over anything I eat. Good choices are easy and so is passing up most of the "bad" stuff. I do power walking, or interval walking for 45 minutes every other day. I am easily wearing size 10 jeans and tight size 8. I feel like I would be happy if I didnt lose another single ounce...but I have had 145 as goal for so long that cant give it up. Part of me is so happy to come as far as I have....and the other part is still not satisfied, lol. I really want a normal BMI. Does this make sense to anyone?

[JulieNYC 4]

....Nowadays I'll say "well, I ate cake today, so what?" and I"ll go for my run anyway because I dont just run to burn off cake, I run for all those wonderful benefits we've been discussing above, the headspace and the reflection time and the sheer joy of it....

This is exactly the same metamorphasis I've had with exercise. It's not black and white anymore, meaning that I'm not all good or all bad. Before, I would only stay on an exercise plan as long as the food was going reasonably well. A binge would always interrupt my exercise -- always.

So here's a real world example (and where I'm going to undoubtedly differ from Jachut!) -- I got to 350 because I am a binge eater. I can go into a cycle where I eat massive calories and not really realize what I've done until it's over. Pre-band this was almost daily, and sometimes twice daily. With the band, I made a commitment to eat healthful foods and trust the band to not allow me to binge on quantities. As you can tell from my weight loss, it's a pretty good system.

Well, yesterday I had a full-blown binge. I ate 9 bags of Skittles. Yes, I can still eat 9 bags of Skittles with my band. I never have before and I hope it's a long time to never until I do again. But I still ran. And I'll still run today. The two aren't linked at all. I'm still a success with my running, even when I have a failure with food. It makes me feel better about myself overall, which is nice. Plus, when I feel better about myself, I'm less likely to have a bad binge. So it's a good cycle to be in.

So, speaking of, it's time for my run. For those looking for the "couch to 5K" program (that Boo calls the "couch potato" program - haha), here's a link:

Cool Running :: The Couch-to-5K Running Plan

Take care, Julie