Passing For Thin - Support Thread for Those Approaching Goal

[JulieNYC 4]

Hi everyone! This is a support thread for bandsters who are approaching or maintaining their goal weight, whatever that may be. This thread will likely include monthly challenges for exercise and/or diet goals, which members can choose to join or not join at their leisure.

I read a book once called Passing For Thin, which was written by a woman who lost 150+ pounds through OA, yet never felt thin on the inside. That is one of the things thread is intended to discuss, as well as the other unique challenges and successes of a bandster who is now Passing For Thin. These issues could be related to food in the maintenance phase, upcoming exercise goals, self-esteem issues, relating to the opposite sex -- anything you confront in your new body.

Maybe in the course of discussing our issues, we will become thin on the inside as well as the outside.

Let the discussion begin!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Sounds like a great thread. I share some of those issues, namely body image. I look at the scale and I see the numbers go down, I see my fat clothes and realize they don't fit anymore, but I look at my fat legs and arms and I don't see a single pound gone. I see *at least* 100 lbs to go.

Quite frankly, it confuses my brain.

[Jachut 487]

I'm the opposite. I barely ever saw myself as fat. I felt thin, I felt like I looked good, I guess I wasnt really looking when I looked in the mirror. I just continued to see the old me, the me of about the same size I am now.

So I really havent had any trouble coming to terms with it.

I get a huge shock when I slip things on in change rooms and they fit. But I do feel thin!

Not thin enough, lol. I want to be skinny. But I"m not sure at 40 after 3 babies that's a realistic goal for me.

[Boo 3]

Sometimes I feel like Cinderella, just waiting for the clock to strike midnight, snapping my band and turning my body back into a pumpkin.

In this thread, I will gladly join in on discussions and lend support. My main contribution will be to keep us all moving! The benefits of daily, cardiovascular workouts are too great to ignore. SO, I vote we set our exercise challenges each month. My July goal is to run farther and faster to prepare for a 5K and 10K. I'm keeping a minimum goal of 45 minutes of running/cardio work per day, for at least 20 days this month.

Over the course of this month, I hope to log over 85 miles.

While I am SO focused on my fitness and weight-loss goals, it leaves less opportunity to dwell on my emotional/self-doubt issues (which I prefer to avoid confronting.) In order to truly heal, though, I know that I must learn to embrace myself.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

My July goal is to run farther and faster to prepare for a 5K and 10K. I'm keeping a minimum goal of 45 minutes of running/cardio work per day, for at least 20 days this month.

Over the course of this month, I hope to log over 85 miles.

Ohhh, I'll join that goal! I track it on a spreadsheet daily. I'm up to 100 minutes of hard cardio daily. I'd love to join you, if you don't mind!

[edieparks 2]

I will enjoy being apart of this thread. Thank you for starting it.

My maintenance has been a different experience for me . I have never had to try to gain. I forget to eat. food is an afterthought.

You all should make a ticker about how much exercise for the month.

I saw one on someones signature and it was cute. It went like 2000 minutes of exercise for the month of July . Her ticker showed how much time she had so far for the month. Those tickers are fun.

So now my path is uphill for me. My md says anywhere between 140 and 160 would be ok with him. I think that 140 kinda stuck with me. Hubby would like it at 160.

It is a good problem to have. I bought my new clothes for 160 . Now I have some that fit the 150 me.

I figure I will try to relax about it.

Whenever a reached a goal before , I only wore my new size for maybe a week . I always started putting the weight right back on. Sad but very very true.

edie

[catzintj 1]

when i was very heavy i would look in the mirror and think i look ok. then i would see a photograph and i would think,, wow im so huge. but i never saw myself as fat.... i always thought i looked good. i think that its common for people with eating disorders to have distorted body images. i see this with anorexia. tiny skinny girls come into the emergency room for treatment and they tell me how fat they look. maybe deception is part of the disease. anything you can tell yourself to keep eating/ not eating..... i know i have to be careful. i can go without eating for days and not think a thing of it. i stopped losing weight when i did that. my metabolism stopped. so now im diligent about a few bites every few hours. im losing weight again. plus im so active and i need to have my muscles for eventing. i was losing muscle mass. not cool.

[guysis 0]

How about Passing for Young and Sexy (along with Thin)?

I'm not any of the 3! But I try.......................the Young and Sexy (not possible), but Old and Sexy why not? The Thin.............well, not sure that is possible either - I'm not exactly there yet, but don't know if in my head I'll ever feel thin?

My husband and friends tell me I'm looking great for an "old fart grammy" and that I should be happy and just maintain! I'm not happy because in the "buff" I look like an old droopy, hangy -used to be fat lady! With approx 20 lbs to go to my "goal"............it will be just that more hangy!

Darn, Boo...............is it time to face those inner feelings? I really don't want to - working up a sweat and stopping eating is much easier.

Along with Boo and Julie and others who I hope will join us in this thread we have had wonderful support for each other - mainly on an exercise thread..................along with Boo I pledge to continue with at least 20 days of at least 45 minutes a day. I belong to a wonderful gym, do a class called NIA (a combination of dance, tai chi, martial arts) 3-5 times a week, with some core, strength training, walking thrown in a few more times a week.

I just had all the Fluid removed from my band this morning - had really irritated myself last week and could not keep any solid food down - not fun (never had this happen before)....................had a fluro and all looked good. I'm going back for a refill in a couple of weeks. Isn't it amazing what 2.8 cc of Fluid can do - I'm wide open now................have to be very careful for the next couple of weeks!

[Jachut 487]

Darn, Boo...............is it time to face those inner feelings? I really don't want to - working up a sweat and stopping eating is much easier.

It is isnt it? I think its just hit me that that fine tuning I thought I needed to do, that last little bit of pudge on the belly and the love handles - that is loose skin. Its a bit confronting to know that that wont go away. Nor was I blessed by nature with great thighs. Those dimples are there to stay.

This is an issue that you dont expect as you get to goal. In your head you're going to be perfect, what you always wanted to be.

I'm never having PS, those imperfections are me, they're nowhere NEAR severe enough to risk another surgery for. I'm coming to accept them.

But when you can run five times a week, anwhere from 8 to 15kms, AND you do plenty of weighted squats etc, you dont expect a dimply bum.

I'm 40 in six weeks time, and I couldnt have wished to have looked or felt better than I do. That was what really got me moving on this surgery 2 years ago, the thought of being 40, fat, miserable, unwell.

As to goals, well I'm shooting for 23 hour long workouts this month. I did 20 in June.

[JulieNYC 4]

First of all, thank you all for your responses. They are making me think about my own issues already.

As Betty aluded to, several of us on this thread were banded in April 2006 and have had a long-running monthly exercise challenge that was mostly for the April crew. That thread is what lead to this thread -- in that many of us were starting to want to discuss the issues that come up nearing goal and we wanted to discuss that in the wider forum, yet we didn't want to lose the exercise challenge.

So, let's set an official July 2007 exercise challenge. Anyone who wants to join can, and if you don't want to, that's fine too. Most importantly, if you want to modify the challenge to suit your own goals, whether higher or lower in number or duration, that is absolutely encouraged. For example, I'm setting mine to match Jachut's, and I'll reflect that in my signature.

Here's the base challenge:

In the calendar month of July, complete twenty exercise sessions of at least forty-five minutes in duration. Report in on your progress, successes and challenges at your leisure.

Let the races begin!

[JulieNYC 4]

...I look at my fat legs and arms and I don't see a single pound gone. I see *at least* 100 lbs to go.

I fall somewhere between you and Jachut. What's most frustrating for me is that I never know what I'm going to feel. Some days I feel like I could still lose 50 or 60 lbs -- I feel like a house. Other days I feel like I'm really very close to goal. I just don't know what my goal weight is. A big part of that for me is my excess skin. I lost nearly 200 lbs and I went up and down 100 lbs twice before the band. When I think about it logically, I think I should lose about 25 more lbs, then my thigh and butt lift (December) will take me to my final goal of 136, which is a normal BMI for me. My legs literally have rolls of skin. I see that and I know it's not fat, but it distorts my body image. I try to just relax about it -- December will be here before we know it, and I can reevaluate my goal weight any time I want to -- it shouldn't be such a source of stress. Maybe part of it is that I've ALWAYS been struggling to get to a goal weight. I mean ALWAYS. Since I was 5 years old. What in the hell am I going to do when I'm not struggling for a goal weight? I guess I have anxiety about that date, which is rapidly approaching.

Lastly, I ask for this group's support on my long-term exercise goal. I am running the Chicago 1/2 Marathon on September 9th and the NYC full Marathon on November 4th. I'm doing an official training program, of course, and it's going well. Speaking of, off I go -- it's a light day today (5 miles).

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

But when you can run five times a week, anwhere from 8 to 15kms, AND you do plenty of weighted squats etc, you dont expect a dimply bum.

This is one of the issues I have noticed. I guess I thought that working as hard as I do, running until I have blisters on top of blisters on my feet, working so hard... I thought things would look better. Instead my gut looks like a wrinkly old dog and I'm starting this rooster thing on my throat. It's just nasty.

As I was writing above, on an intellectual level I know I have lost weight. I see the numbers on the scale. But when I look at myself I don't see a pound gone. Working as hard as I have and not SEEING a bit of difference, I sometimes question why I am spinning my wheels. But I just close my eyes and remember the scale is moving (well, NOT this week!) and I keep plugging away.

I just don't understand the distorted body image. I don't get why I can't see more of a positive difference.

[Boo 3]

WASaBB, I LOVE your little beach chair ticker. That is so cute for July. I think the exercise ticker is a good idea for me, since I haven't been able to move my weight ticker for a month (plateau.)

I can relate to EVERYTHING, distorted body image (looking fat one day, hot the next), not wanting to face ANYTHING emotional, not eating to the point of messing up the metabolism, expecting a perfect body after weight-loss, setting upcoming birthday goals......I thought that my life would be fine if I just LOST THE WEIGHT! I'm starting to see things differently. It is a process, isn't it?

Major respect to you hard core exercisers! I used to get in 15 miles in my younger days but now running 4-5 in my 40's seems like hard core! Especially since a year ago I didn't even think I could run. Now my incentive has just shot higher! Thanks.

Happy 4th of July!!!

:usa2::usa2::usa2::usa2::usa2::usa2:

And one for Dawn :canada:

[Boo 3]

By the way, THIN is relative in some ways!! So if you are wanting to join in, but don't think you are THIN enough, please hop on this thread!

It is not exclusive! We are all on this track to health together and ALL need support!

Cheers!

[JulieNYC 4]

By the way, THIN is relative in some ways!! So if you are wanting to join in, but don't think you are THIN enough, please hop on this thread! It is not exclusive! We are all on this track to health together and ALL need support!

Triple, quadruple, a zillion times over, DITTO! No one should feel like they have to know what their goal is to join this thread. I know at 250, coming from 350, I needed to discuss these issues. So, anyone and everyone who feels they identify with these issues is welcome.

Thanks for clarifying that Boo.