Me and my libido

[jennylew 9]

This is very personal for me, but also very real. Since about a week prior to my surgery date, and now (one week post op) I have had absolutely no desire for intimacy with my husband. Accept for a couple of kisses a day, I don't really even want him touching me. We have always had a great sex life, and I know that I am only a week out from surgery and not physically ready for that yet, but this is so unnatural and foreign to me. I understand that our bodies go through a significant change with our hormones, but will I get my libido back? He is being very patient with me but it's more ME having an issue with it. I feel like I am in a stranger's body. Has anyone else gone through this and does it get better and go back to the way things were before? All my husband had to do was look at me in that way and I would normally go week in the knees. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[Cervidae 2,389]

I wish I had some advice to offer you, but all I can offer is that you aren't the only person worried about this. I haven't even had my surgery yet - I'm about a week away now. I'm more than ready, very excited to be where I am in my life, and generally feel a huge pick up in my self-esteem just knowing that there are huge changes coming for me. And yet, I'd be lying if I said I haven't had some rather strange emotional moments and fears, things that have never crossed my mind or worried me before, some pertaining to my libido and my desirability. I've spent years becoming the kind of person who could see herself as beautiful, desirable, sexually liberated despite being way outside society's "normal". I think few people would understand the things you or I are going through unless they were faced with this huge, monumental change, not just in our own perception, but in our literal image. In a lot of ways, it's like being given a new body. It's no wonder that we often have trouble understanding the very understandable confusion and fears that come with such a huge change in our self-image. Our bodies and our sexuality are at the core of who we are as people, and it's all topsy turvy during and after this change.

My only advice is to give yourself some time, and cut yourself as much slack as you can. You obviously love and are attracted to your husband, and he obviously loves and is attracted to you. Once your body balances out a bit and the surreal experience you are going through becomes a little less overwhelming, I bet everything will be just fine and back to normal. Maybe even better, who knows? Good luck!

[LEW12 3]

I am experiencing this currently and I have had to turn my man down multiple times. I don't even want kisses. I pray this goes away! I miss my libido!!!! Post Op 11 days

[aelovelady 243]

You just had major surgery! This is time for you to heal, I think it is natures way of protecting you.

[Cheri_j 117]

I was just the opposite. When I got home, I wanted sex. I tried to initiate. My husband said no until I had my first check up a week later. I wish I had more to tell you. I'm sure you can ask your doctor's team at your next visit. I'm sure they've heard this before and have a good answer for it.