What to do? Who to tell? & the reactions!

[mafe 11]

I have been thinking and thinking about the surgery since 2013 but i never had the balls or courage to do it. After having my daughter on 2014 I really said this is it I need to be healthier and in shape for her. I have been overweight all my life and no matter how many diets I did none of them helped. On late December of 2014 I started doing my research and went to the dr. (Haven't told anyone only mom and husband) I just got approved for surgery and I'm nervous and insecure. I don't know what to do. Yesterday night I told my mother in law because I will need help with my daughter and she wasn't as supportive as I would of like her to be. Now I'm thinking again is this the right choice? Am I doing this...

I'm new to this found it a couple of weeks ago and I'm so thankful for your experiences and everything you guys post. I know you will be the only ones to understand what I'm going thru!!!!

[lmm300missouri 95]

Keep positive!! I'm older and go through doubts that I "deserve" to get the surgery. But I'm going for it! Think of the years of benefits you will get from it! Maybe you won't get bad knees or ankles, health issues, live longer for your kids. It's ok to have doubts but look toward your goal. No one but my husband has supported me 100% and he waffles back and forth as he worries. I'm on count down to the 19th and start liquid on the 12 with several ladies groups to go to during that time, one even in my home but I will prevail. So can you! I have not really ever met people that get a lot of support from family or friends but it is their issues not yours.

[belle40 3]

I just had surgery June 30th. It was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life! You have to do what's best for YOU and to become healthier so you will be around for your daughter and husband! This is not your mother in laws decision. This is YOURS! Not everyone will support you. I had to come to terms with that. But you have to get passed that! Besides....as long as your spouse supports you....that's what matters. Personally, I would advise anyone who's had weight problems to have the surgery! But it's a decision that only you can make. Don't let others make you question yourself when you know the decision you're making for yourself is the best one. Good luck to you!

[mafe 11]

Thank you so much ladies!!!!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Why be so swayed by others' opinions -- your mother-in-law's or WLS forum strangers'?

Along this journey you'll have to rely on your own mental strength and ability to resist negativity of all kinds.

You gotta be a bit tough and you certainly have to be committed to your own success long-term to make this work.

[beingfree 30]

Go for it girl!! You'll be happier being healthier!

[sk8lady 5]

I was sleeved 3/24/11. I made the decision NOT to tell my family at all, except my husband. It was very easy to not tell as we were empty nesters at the time. My weight loss was going great until my mother came to live with us 4 months after my surgery. Her constant comments as to me "eating like a bird" made it very difficult but I still did not tell her. I equate the brick wall that I hit at that time to her presence. She was only here for 6 months but I just have not been able to get it moving again. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to tell, but at this point, why bother? I did tell some very close friends and they were wonderful but I just didn't want the flack from my family. Kind of rethinking that decision now but.....its your choice! Good luck.

[CocoBelle 13]

This is something that you are doing for you. I don't feel like I am obligated to tell anyone other than my husband. I think most reactions come from them thinking from there own perspective. I mean some are worried but they take it to a whole new level. And hunny, I'm sure you are worrying enough. You don't need that right now. Think about what she said and then make your own choice from what you feel you need to do. It is pretty disheartening when people react so negatively.

[mafe 11]

Thank you!!!! It's hard to talk about the subject. But I think that not telling everyone is the best decision

[mafe 11]

This is something that you are doing for you. I don't feel like I am obligated to tell anyone other than my husband. I think most reactions come from them thinking from there own perspective. I mean some are worried but they take it to a whole new level. And hunny, I'm sure you are worrying enough. You don't need that right now. Think about what she said and then make your own choice from what you feel you need to do. It is pretty disheartening when people react so negatively.

Thank you!! read your inbox!