Am I a lost cause? How can I believe in me when I have failed so many times in the past?

[More than this 116]

I am so down! I went to see my family doctor today who I know has always been against weight loss surgery but I was houping she could get me some of the tests I need done sooner than later. She asked me why I didn't get myself a trainer. She said she had many patients who had wls & they had all gained the weight back. One had her spleen cut accidently when she had her surgery in the U.S.. She told me that many of them had diarrhea a lot. I asked her what kind of surgery & she mentioned a lot of them had the lap band, but some had other surgery. However she admitted that no one had had the sleeve. Now this doctor is an amazing doctor. She has gone beyond what many people would consider being a doctor entails, so please take that into consideration...that's why I am having such a hard time with this now. She then told me about this drug (Victoza), which is currently used for diabetes, would become available as a weight loss pill come Oct & she had heard many good things about it. She told me to wait & try it. I am so ripped up inside. I was so set on going to Montreal for wls but because some tests take up to a year here in Canada to do, I had to go to my family doc if I wanted them quicker...unless I want to pay a private clinic which just adds to a high cost to begin with, for the wls. Between a rock & a hard place. No wonder people go to Mexico! The hoops we need to jump thru in Canada are ridiculous! I need the gastrectomy & colonoscopy which are done only in Banff & take a long time to get into, never mind how expensive they will be. I also need a sleep apnea test, which thankfully she is going to order for me anyways, since we had discussed it some time ago. So help me out people...I need some good things told to me again as I had also read the posting about someone saying not to get it done, last nite. All the research I have done, since before Christmas fell out of my head, as I had it all ready....but then I backed down. Such a chicken, me. Please please help me out here....I am so disappointed not only in what my doc said (which I was expecting) but more in myself for having fallen flat & backing down. I didn't know what to say because I have failed so many times & don't have much faith in myself anymore.

[glitterpockets 85]

Your doctor sounds SO MUCH like my doctor!!! She wouldn't help me and just figured I was lazy and whatever else. Well you know what? Its MY health on the line, not hers, so I googled the closest bariatric center by me and gave them a call myself and here I am on my way to a healthier me ???? I suggest doing the same. They will ask you a TON of questions about your health, family, etc. They'll send you for a TON of tests so they can figure out what's best for you! ???? If I can do it, you can too ❤

[HopeandAgony 566]

It sounds like you have a lot of trust and respect for your Dr and that is a good thing to have! Although you respect her, does she respect you? I am firmly against scare mongering, which seems to be her objective to sway you from weight loss surgery. Yes there are complications and yes some people gain their weight back, but she isn't giving you the global facts. Where is her unbiased information? What about all the success stories? The successes far outweigh the failures. I think to go through this, or any medical procedure for that matter, a person needs to have an unbiased support team. Up front and center should be their Doctor. If you've voiced your questions, desires, your own fact finding details with her and she is still spewing the negatives, you may want to consider seeing another Dr. A doctor shouldn't control your life, or attempt to control you with horror stories. They should guide and support you where your health is concerned.

Do your own research. Become knowledgable on what it takes to stay committed, how it works, the struggles, and all the complications so you can make an informed decision. The decision is YOURS, and no one elses. Good luck ♡

Edited August 6, 2015 by HopeandAgony

[More than this 116]

Glitterpockets, thanks so much for answering so quickly. I am from Calgary Alberta & I am finding how behind we are in everything. The closest we have is Red Deer, even though we are a much larger city. Red Deer does only through referrals & is a year wait for surgery (once you are able to get your 1st appt with the nurse), never mind the wait in getting into the programs they tell you that you have to sign up for. That & the monthly drive north 1.5 hours each way...I don't even want to think what that would be like in winter. Oh & my favourite is that once that year wait is over, your bmi still needs to be high, so don't bother dieting...but you still need to lose 10% of your weight, but again not so you fall under the required Bmi. My best alternative is Montreal which means self pay, 12,750 + plane fare for myself & a caregiver, + hotel for a week. Expensive but then won't have to wait a year. Just getting those darn tests without having to pay a lot more, & having to wait a long time in getting them done.

[glitterpockets 85]

My doctor is based 1 1/2 hrs from me and he comes down here every other month so we go back and forth traveling...it makes me wonder if they could do the same for you. It sounds like you're better off doing self pay though even though its expensive so you dont have to wait long at all. I'd call and ask how they can help you. There's gotta be a way ❤

[More than this 116]

Thanks Hope. Yes she does respect me. She is awesome, honestly. If she is guilty of anything, it would be of caring about her patients too much, & maybe that's the real problem...that makes me feel a bit better, thanks. How have you, & Glitter, both been doing on your wls? Any regrets?

[glitterpockets 85]

I'm actually pre op ???? I won't be having surgery till Jan 16'. It seems like forever to wait but it gives me time to do research and find out everything id ever wanna know good and bad about this surgery. Due to insurance I have to be on a six month supervised diet to make sure I can actually follow a strict food regimen like I will be post op.

[HopeandAgony 566]

I too am pre-op. I'm in the states and am going thru insurance. I had to do a 3 month monitored weight loss before referral to a surgeon. I see the surgeon next week. Once he sees me I have to do a cardiac, pulmonary, and psych eval. Hopefully I will be scheduled for end of September.

I started the process in April and have pretty much done nothing but read read read. Although reading the complications sometimes scares me, I want to be informed. I want to know what could go wrong. I think it's part of my need to be prepared for anything. I am certain of my choice to move forward with this. I have tried for years to do this on my own. I've spent money on programs, videos, medication, fad diets... sure I can lose some weight, but it always comes back.

I think it's important to be sure of your decision. Talking through things with some of the folks on this site is a great way to go.

[Mistie 201]

I get that you love your doctor. However, a doctor should support you, not attempt to control you with fear. If you are leaving your doctors office feeling bad about yourself and/or bullied, it's time to move on. And bullied is the word that is coming to me from reading your post.

A couple of years ago I went to a doctor who prescribed WL meds to give that a try. Every visit, all she did was harp on how horrible one of my other meds (Depo Provera shots) are, that I need to get off of them, how bad they are for me, etc. I tried to explain that I understood the risks, but my gynecologist, who I've been seeing for almost 10 years, had tried a half dozen other meds, and this one works... She didn't 'hear' me. She had her OWN AGENDA. And it did not coincide with mine. No Depo, at this time, means me coming close to bleeding to death (sorry if too much TMI) - it's the only thing stopping it. She didn't care, she just had this idea in HER head of what *I* should do.

So if your doctor 1) bullies and/or 2) has an agenda that does not mesh with yours and makes you feel unheard. Go elsewhere. I wanted to keep taking the meds... but I stopped, because I refused to go to a doctor who treated me with so little respect and had so little respect for me, my opinions, and my ability to make decisions.

I wish you the best of luck. Where there's a will, there's a way - even if it takes a little time!

[shellyd88 463]

@@More than this hi welcome I see your in Canada the pre op testing your facing is pretty much the same as in the USA I had to do all that as well your cash price is good tho compared to here for sure lol I just want to say that a lot of Drs and regular ppl too are against WLS especially those who don't and never had a weight issue some think it's just mind over matter eat less move more etc and that's true to a point but the is an addiction in my opinion no diff than drugs or alcohol when u say to those they use substances just stop well yeah if we're that simple no one would be on drugs or alcoholics or eating too much I'm not suggesting your dr isn't a good dr but Drs are human beings with opinions feelings and judgements etc you must be able to decide for yourself and not be treated as if your a child or like your not allowed to help yourself in the way u see fit these procedures have been around for a long while now yes some have complications but most don't don't put off doing what u feel u must do to help yourself a dr advice is to guide you and be sure u have all the facts which u can do by researching as you obviously are doing and I have to say I do feel as if this dr is trying to scare you out of this based on their disapproval however it's your life your decision and you must live with the effects and limits being overweight not the dr so do what u need to do for your life and do not allow ppl or Drs to back u down its your life you get to run it hey if you can come to the states to get it done try that where ever you live see where the nearest big hospital is and see if they have bariatric programs u can probly email someone at that hospital and ask questions etc I'm about 5.5 months post op sleeve I'm in ny

[Monnie815 64]

I called bariatric center myself and thank God all I needed for insurance to play was for my regular doc to send in 5 years of weight & medical condition.

Don't give up keep fighting for yourself

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

i had a primary care doc for over 10 years that i thought was awesome too. I was wrong. The last straw when i left her was her complete ignorance over the sleeve (she had never heard of it and wouldn't even listen to me describing it). My last appointment with her, she sent me home with a list of cookbooks to try. Clearly, the reason I was obese was because I didnt have access to the right cookbooks... right. Mistie has a great point - my doc had her own "agenda" that really didn't support me.

Now, as to you... how old are you? How overweight are you? Have you seriously tried losing weight other ways? You don't need to answer me - but answer yourself. I failed with the lapband so am sadly very familiar with the failure stories. It is devastating beyond belief. Maybe you should try that new drug or whatever, I can't really say.

What I can say is that when you have an advanced state of obesity, diets just don't work anymore. You need a tool to get the weight off and maintain it. I also think you need to really really really have tried everything else first - but I know not everyone shares that opnion.

I was sleeved in Dec 2011 after pretty much a lifetime of overweight and obesity. I am so glad I did it.

[snowkitten 371]

I have no idea what my pcp thought of the surgery. I went in to her, handed her the surgeons fax number and told her to fax the referral to him. I really gave her no choice. I tell you this because I want to remind you that Dr's don't get to choose what happens with your medical. Don't ask her, tell her you want a refferal. If she refuses, just go to a different dr. You don't have to give her up as your pcp. Just agree to disagree with her.

[lealor 127]

I am from Calgary as well. I am going to \Tijuana for surgery August 24th, hell of a lot cheaper. Get another doctor. There are a lot that aren't like yours. You are not lazy, you just need help. Why wont you consider Mexixo? There surgeons do double amount than Montreal. My doctor here is elated Im going. Feel free to email me.

Hugs

Leanne

[gabisha 1]

To bad your not in Cali I know a good doctor.