Am I a lost cause? How can I believe in me when I have failed so many times in the past?

[More than this 116]

Thanks everyone. I really really appreciate all of your comments. Leanne, I can't go to Mexico because I am severely allergic to certain drugs such as morphine, codeine etc.. According to what I have read about Mexico, many of the nurses don't speak much English & many have complained that they have asked about what is in their intravenous & all they can tell them is medicine. I have already flatlined at the foothills as they used the synthetic morphine to operate but decided they would try to use regular morphine in the recovery room. Although I had a NDE, which I will actually be forever grateful for, I did die because they decided to try it. I also am sure I have sleep apnea, for which I am waiting for testing & then the oxygen as I will need it during the surgery, or is it the recovery room? I don't remember but I was told to bring it with me, once I get it.

I did speak to a lady here in January who had gone to Mexico with great results. Her doctor was Almanza, of which just a few minutes ago I read about on this very same site. He has people who have died on his table due to things that he does or doesn't do. I have to link into the link given, to find out what exactly happened. according to what I began to read on the site, this isn't the 1st time for this doc, as well as the weight loss people representing him. So, no, don't trust them, even though I could still die in Montreal, I trust this doctor more....at least I can ask what's in my intravenous & get a precise answer.

Yes I have been on so many diets in the past. I lose but then I never get to maintain for various reasons, like the rest of people on this site. I fought weight problems all my life, being Italian....great cook & it's a social event for us. I only weighed 1 pound more than before getting pregnant, which was 117.....but a year after the birth of my child I went into a very bad depression due to an awful marriage & having to move to where there was no support of any kind. The doctors (psychiatrist included) started me on halcyon & an antidepressant of which I don't remember the name. I craved sweets & even though I tried to control it during the day...remember I said tried to control, I would wake up at night & do the damage then. I wouldn't even remember except for wrappers or empty sugar bowl that told me the tale. They have banned the halcyon for quite some time, thank God! During that year I gained 60 pounds! After that it was all downhill due to depression & my other circumstances.

Anyway, that's why I feel like such a failure, due to the many diets I have been on & not being able to grab control of my life, in terms of this weight. Oh yes, someone asked how old I was. I am 54. I am terrified of the drastic measures but it seems like it is my only hope right now, since it seems to be the best tool out there to help me. I have another appointment with my family doc in a couple of weeks & am going to bring her the information I found on the effects of this drug she has asked me to try, when it comes to Canada & info on the sleeve, which I believe she has looked into, as per my request. I am hoping she can get me in for the other tests, colonoscopy & gastrectomy, do that I don't have to wait that long (everywhere I call sys up to a year). They can do the tests the day before in Montreal & it will cost me approx another 1,500, but I would like them done here in case something is found which would exclude me from being able to get the surgery, plus I don't know the wait times. I would hate to get that news that I couldn't have the surgery after going all the way to Montreal. Thank you all again for helping me out. I hope that I can have this surgery even though I am afraid it may fail on me because my metabolism must be horrible now, after all those failed diets I went on, or if I can trust myself to do it right...awful thing when you don't even have faith in yourself anymore...

Lots of luv & hugs & best wishes to all of you!!

[anne226 0]

Glitterpockets, thanks so much for answering so quickly. I am from Calgary Alberta & I am finding how behind we are in everything. The closest we have is Red Deer, even though we are a much larger city. Red Deer does only through referrals & is a year wait for surgery (once you are able to get your 1st appt with the nurse), never mind the wait in getting into the programs they tell you that you have to sign up for. That & the monthly drive north 1.5 hours each way...I don't even want to think what that would be like in winter. Oh & my favourite is that once that year wait is over, your bmi still needs to be high, so don't bother dieting...but you still need to lose 10% of your weight, but again not so you fall under the required Bmi. My best alternative is Montreal which means self pay, 12,750 + plane fare for myself & a caregiver, + hotel for a week. Expensive but then won't have to wait a year. Just getting those darn tests without having to pay a lot more, & having to wait a long time in getting them done.

you can get a doctor in Calgary to refer you to the weight management clinic ( old children's hospital). I have surgery scheduled for Aug 28th.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Here's the deal. Your doctor, lovely as she is, is no different from the random sister-in-law who's against you having WLS. What they have in common is that they ...

... HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT OR EXPERIENCE WITH THE GASTRIC SLEEVE.

In fact, they shouldn't even be talking about it.

And you shouldn't be talking with them about it. They are ignorant (uneducated, uninformed, without data).

Until you either insist that your PCP get educated about gastric sleeve surgery or you stop allowing her ignorance to influence you, you can't really advance toward WLS.

My strong advice is that you should find another PCP who knows what gastric sleeve surgery is about. Work with him or her.

[wildcat74 44]

More than this...Don't give up! You are worth fighting for. My doctor really wasn't into my

having surgery in the beginning, just told me to exercise more... She finally got on board though, and I'm almost to my surgery appointment(to set the date). I tried dr supervised programs, and

lost weight, but gained it all back plus more after the weight loss pills and shots stopped. I'm doing this so I can feel better for good, not just a few weeks or months here and there.

[Monnie815 64]

Ok here's something to think about. You have failed before because you didn't have a wonder aid (WLS) surgery alone isn't going to make us health but will darn sure help. So don't compare your past to your future. I have never had will power but have had no problem with pre-op diet. It's different mentally,

[More than this 116]

thank you, all of you..you are all so kind & I am humbled...to get such caring & solid unbiased advice...& you don't know me...which is...well really touches my heart...

I have decided to go to Montreal on self pay. I am going to see my doc on Monday & tell her this is what I am going to do because I believe, after almost a year of continual research, is the best thing out there. I feel so good that I have my head on straight...finally...going to do something for my self, instead of for someone else. Going to believe in my self instead of think that some one is more "right" just because they are not me...& all coz you all stood up for me by giving me hope & strength in believing I can do it...yeah I know this all sounds very syrupy....but I mean it...totally surprises me that I have found so many wonderful, caring people...on a site...this site. You are all so wonderful...I have been blessed finding you all, on this site. A million thank you's for your support....I will let you know what happens...thanks again!!