Coworker outed me

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

It's a good thing I didn't tell anyone about my surgery "in confidence." Because if I had and they'd blurted it out in public, violating my confidence because "telling the truth is never wrong," I'd have cut them a new asshole.

@@Sanstan ... your world may be a black or white one, but I can imagine hundreds of scenarios in which blurting out "the truth" is wrong, stupid, hurtful, destructive, revengeful, dangerous or illegal.

[Sanstan 25]

Oh geez. I didn't mean the blurting out was okay because it was the truth! That part was kinda crappy...but I'm sure the reason she was outed...was because she was being shady and not telling the truth when asked. If you are going to play off like your weight loss is because you are eating less, then you better keep your mouth shut and not tell a single soul...you had surgery. Live your lie, alone. Other people (like myself and maybe the girl that outed her) won't lie or be deceptive...even for those that think it's okay. It's a moral thing for some....not everyone....but for some. That is where telling the truth is never wrong...it may hurt, it may be uncomfortable....but it IS the truth.

[Rose4 Life 19]

Oh my goodness! I would be so upset but I can see someone in my office saying something like that .

[SleevePerry 248]

@@Sanstan quite simply, it was not her truth to tell.

[mackie0601 2]

Although I don't completely agree with Sanstan....I understand her point. I feel like I shouldn't have told anyone or I should have told everyone! That's the 2 options if one wants to control how the information is put out.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@jas84047

I would be mad, but you shouldn't have told them. 2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead. Someone on here said that you can't untell people and that is the truth. No one else is going to understand your privacy like you do, or respect it.

They are going to blab all your business all over the office. So brace yourself and prepare for it. I doubt she is the only one that has told someone.

[Shustar 395]

In the beginning of my process, I was undecided about whether to share my decision to have WLS in Mexico with my employees or friends. I have a gal working for me who is both a friend and who used to live in my gated community where we play tennis together. As a friend and employer, I decided to share with her my plans. When I showed up for tennis, the whole group rushed up asking about my surgical plans. Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I was disappointed and I was embarrassed. I spoke to my employee who first denied it and then apologized to me. It was not her privilege to share. Now that the genie is out of the bottle, it is up to me to act with grace. I do not need to answer every question that comes my way. This is my life and my body. I am happy to share my journey with you but not your judgment.

[judyoz 240]

A lesson learned. You can not trust everyone. If you do not want people to know, do not tell anyone. Sad but true.

[_Kate_ 2,224]

@Sanstan But telling ppl you are eating "smaller portions" and "high Protein, low carbs" is...MISLEADING, CUNNING, CRAFTY, SLY, SHADY.

Ouch... Some of us here (ME INCLUDED) are MISLEADING, CUNNING, CRAFTY, SLY, SHADY. Whoda thought it !!!

Watch out, falling from that high horse will hurt you one day.

Last word on the matter.

[Sanstan 25]

fraud
\ˈfrȯd\
noun
: the crime of using dishonest methods to take something valuable from another person
: a person who pretends to be what he or she is not in order to trick people
: a copy of something that is meant to look like the real thing in order to trick people
Full Definition

If you are asked "how are you losing your weight?" and you tell them "I'm eating less" or "smaller portions" WITHOUT including you had WLS....you are example #2. You are NOT skinny from *just* eating less...and that makes you a fraud....which = deceptive. When people find out they've been tricked....it tends to piss them off.
If that's the world you live in....fine. I find that the truth is more admirable.
There is no shame in WLS. And like I said before...you may just help someone by sharing your story.

Oh!...and my horse is very short...it's a Shetland pony. So the fall is not so far. Never been hurt.

Edited August 7, 2015 by Sanstan

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Jealousy!!!

[rnsamantha 352]

I think deciding who to share the fact you had WLS with is a personal decision and should be respected. Although all my coworkers (I work with 5 people) and immediate family know I have had surgery, I don't advertise it to passing acquaintances. Initially I planned to just say "low carb, now sugar, small portions", but I feel a little dishonest because that's not the whole truth. I have shared the fact I have had surgery with more people as a result, and honestly have had nothing but supportive responses. I think people will surprise you, but it should be your decision to decide if you want to share the fact that you had surgery--not someone else's.

[Slim-Shady 79]

I've been reading the back and forth about truth, deception, etc. Here's the issue from my view. Some may see her telling others her weight is a result of different eating habits and exercise as dishonest because she did not mention her WLS. Others may say, she didn't tell a lie. Her weight loss is a result of those things; even if it was made possible through WLS. You may/may not see it as dishonest. However, I think the problem with the coworker telling it is that it wasn't her truth to tell! She was out of line to mention it. It simply wasn't the coworker's right to share it; whether it was the truth or not, whether it was dishonest or not, or whether she thought it was wrong to omit it or not! If you think helping others with your story is the thing to do, then by al means, tell it! Nonetheless, it's not up anyone except the individual to tell it. This is why it is important to be careful who you share information with. It's obvious from the comments here that everyone does not view info sharing th same way, and you can't un-tell it. I think it would be a good idea for doctors to address this issue during the process (some might already). It was not something I needed to address, but based on posts I've seen, it might be beneficial to some.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Absolutely.Finegurl2015.You said it exactly.Be very careful with coworkers.Friends and family is a big difference.Info sharing in the hands of the wrong people at the workplace can be problematic.Be careful.

[NinaB 16]

We have all heard it! WLS is a tool. It's a very intimate choice and we have the right to share with people we trust. Sharing information with someone doesn't give them permission to go and share it with others. What she did was rude, and disrespectful!

I would of pulled her aside and set her straight about what she did in a very professional way. She obviously has no sense of respect for others.

If you spoke to her and she got mad, is a darn straight out sign that she is immature! A right minded and good hearted person would be extremely apologetic and embarrassed.

Don't let people like her ruin the best choice you made for yourself. Good for you for standing up for yourself! Keep doing it! We are here for you!