Coworker outed me

[jas84047 72]

Am I being too sensitive about this or would this bother anyone else?

Only my immediate coworkers know about my surgery. I wasn't planning on making a big announcement. But this afternoon when a group if us where going to the cafeteria to eat lunch somebody asked me what I was doing to loose weight. My answer has always been "smaller portions and hard work". It's not a lie... it's just as much of the truth I planned to tell most people. Not two seconds after I gave that answer to this person I barely know one of my coworkers who knows about my surgery blurted "she had surgery" as the answer. I'm so mad! I feel like her saying this makes it sounds like such a simple process and surgery was 'the easy way out'. Am I just too sensitive about it? Should I say something?

[*Lexie* 1,486]

Nope, that would make me mad too. Plus it sounds like she is discounting your hard work. Maybe she's jealous or just doesn't have any respect for other people's business.

[jas84047 72]

She's not jealous... she's a teeny gal that "just goes off sugar to loose weight". I said something to her and she got mad at ME?! I'm so upset.

[Megdelyn 85]

That was rude of your coworker, however it's probably not worth getting upset about either. It says more about her issues than yours. And anyone who heard it probably realized it was inappropriate.

I haven't told many of my coworkers, just the two I work closest with. Only one other has asked about my weight loss so far and I didn't say anything about the surgery. But I don't think I'd be bothered if it were common knowledge. Just an opportunity to educate people if they are curious.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

If you didn't want your WLS to be a topic at work, you shouldn't have told anyone at work.

[MissRobin 93]

That was extremely RUDE and unprofessional.

Who is she to say ANYTHING about your personal life, regardless whether you told her or whether she was told by another co worker.

There is certain things that you should not bring up due to sensitivity issues. Weight, politics, religion, sexuality and money.

I am angry right now for you !!!

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

A secret isn't a secret as soon as you tell ONE person. It was very rude of her to share something that wasn't hers to tell but now it is out there so make the best of it. Use it as an opportunity to educate anyone who asks about how it is only a tool in a larger process.

Good luck!!

[mizzlane13 48]

That's just plain rude. This is something that you made the choice to do, and she should have given you the opportunity to reveal that information yourself. I don't understand why people feel so negatively about people having wls. It is just mind boggling. You should feel free to express and reveal whatever information you want ,whenever you want, whether it is at work or wherever. THATS YOUR BUISNESS!! It doesn't matter PERIOD. The fact of an individual making it their business to "spread the word" so to speak goes to show you that she can not be trusted with any amount of information you give her....now you know better. I am sorry you had to experience this hun.

Edited August 4, 2015 by mizzlane13

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

As I see it, your co-worker, altho somewhat rude, simply stated fact.

You DID have surgery.

That IS why you're losing weight.

Your co-worker is actually being more honest about it than you are.

I seem to be a little different from most people here.

I told EVERYONE.

I still do..

When people comment on my loss (100+ pounds since end of Feb), I simply say "Yep, I've lost heaps but have heaps to go."

My co-workers know.

My management know.

My mates know.

The cleaner in my office knows.

I'm not ashamed of the fact that I've had surgery.

But then I'm not simply relying on the surgery to lose weight.

I'm also exercising before and after work.

So, I've turned this into a post about me...

I'm such a man sometimes...

My opinion (and it's just my opinion) is as follows...

You're being a little sensitive.

Yes, your co-worker is a toolbag for blurting that shit out...

But as someone before me said, once you tell one person, your stuff is no longer a secret.

You took a chance and told people...

It looks like that's come back to bite you.

And not in the good way...

Take care,

Kinda

[NaomiAus 104]

Yeah it's kinda crummy that your co worker said that and if you feel strongly enough you should talk to them about, but honestly does it really matter? So a few more people know you had surgery, it dos'nt change the fact that you did or that you are losing weight, looking better and becoming healthier. You just know for the future not to tell this particular person anything you don't want made common knowledge

[scarletwitch19 302]

That's very rude!!! It was not your coworkers place to answer, and blurting it out like that, they had to know you wouldn't like that. If it's a coworker you are close with I would mention that you didn't like it. Maybe they need a little reminder in manners.

[Cdominguez 26]

Omg that's so mean ughh

[jas84047 72]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I am not ashamed of it but it's still so new that it's still a lot even for me to grasp. The coworker who knew had to know because of our job. To be honest, she could technically be fired (& actually it's against the law) because we work in healthcare where I had my surgery (thus why she knew) so it's a HIPAA violation. I knew people would find out eventually but I feel it should be my place to tell. I think though the part that got me was how she answered it as "she had surgery" inferring the "easy way" - which we all know it is far from. I will say though, I did use it as a teaching moment for the gal who got told. She is also overweight so had lots of questions. I already talked with the 'teller' and asked she zip it.... but she is now mad at me for "being a baby". Ugh. I give up...

Thanks though to all who felt my pain!

[rp1980 116]

It is very rude. I never divulge anything about someone's personal or medical history unless that person has said it's okay. I haven't told many people, just immediate family and close friends. It's not that it's a secret, but that it's private. I don't go around telling people about my sex life, or my ob/gyn appointments either. Now if someone asks, of course I won't lie. I think you've done all you can do. You told her you didn't appreciate it, and I'm guessing she knew exactly what she was doing. So just roll with it - and lose weight and look fabulous!

[scarletwitch19 302]

I'm sorry, but what a b****. Mad you're being a baby! It's NOT being a baby wanting to tell people yourself. It's your business. She absolutely said it implying it was the easy way. I'm sorry you have to work with a rude person.

Edited August 5, 2015 by scarletwitch19