female only My Guy LIKES big Women...

[betrthnever 107]

My fiancee dated skinny women for the longest time before he "came out" of the closet for truly preferring big women. And that's when he found me, his first and only certifiably obese woman. I am 5'2" and 204 pounds, with plenty of curves for him. But he wants me to be healthy and wants us to be together until we are old, no matter what my size. He loves me and will support my weight lost no matter what.

I have a whatever will be will be kind of attitude. Who knows what the future holds?

Question is, any of you ladies out there whose SO liked you big (bigger the better) and lost interest once the weight came off?

Thank you!

[Elode 8,093]

@@betrthnever My husband loves me no matter what, so he says but I'm pretty sure he likes this skinnier me better. I lost weight on my own back in the day and my ex preferred bigger women and told me I " looked sick" and he wasn't as attracted to me.......soooooo I told Felicia bye, which is why he is now referred to as my ex. See how that works! So technically I dropped that 60 lbs plus 170lbs of ass! Not too shabby!

[jane13 2,256]

@@Elode - LOL!

I was must have been married to his brother!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

My boyfriend is a gift from God. He rescued me after I had been thrown away and divorced twice. I was big when he found me and gained fifty more pounds after two knee replacements. He has been very supportive with my weight loss because he wants me to be around for a long time.

I agree with him that "meat is for the man and bone is for the dog". I have also been anorexic and was not healthy then either. So, I think I am close to my goal weight now, which even by bariatric doctor adjusted up twenty pounds from what I had planned on originally. The balance I am looking for is size "healthy". He appreciates that I am more flexible and have more energy, and the Wellbutrin helps with keeping my libido up and running at 63.

[Babbs 14,681]

I know chemistry is important, and people are attracted to a certain type more than others, BUT....

If the person you are with truly loves you, they will stay with and love you through thick and thin. Literally.

I mean, I've been with my husband for 28 years. He's seen me fat, skinny, fat again, skinny again, getting wrinkles, sagging skin. He still can't keep his hands off of me

[JamieLogical 8,708]

When I first met my husband, I weighed less than I do now. However, we didn't get together romantically until 4 years later and by then I was up around 220 pounds. I then proceeded to lose and regain weight a hundred times. Getting up to 270 at my highest and down to 180 at my lowest and bouncing below and above 200 several times in between. He has loved me and been attracted to me every single step of the way. I have never felt "gross" or "ugly" or "not sexy" around him... no matter what my weight.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@JamieLogical

My husband is the same way. We got ourselves some keepers!

[betrthnever 107]

In the end I'm not worried. I need to do what I need to do for myself, this is true. And he says he would love me no matter what! I'm not really worried, I'm just wondering if anyone had experiences. Lust/sexiness/looks - these things change over time. Love is the constant.

Thanks ladies!!

[betrthnever 107]

@@betrthnever My husband loves me no matter what, so he says but I'm pretty sure he likes this skinnier me better. Now I lost weight on my own back in the day and my ex preferred bigger women and told me I " looked sick" and he wasn't as attracted to me.......Annnnnd I told Felicia bye, which is why he is now referred to as my ex. See how that works! So technically I dropped that 60 lbs plus 170lbs of an ass! Not too shabby!

My ex wouldn't have sex with me too at my biggest, but then he wasn't crazy about sex with me in the first place!

[stardustandsunshine 15]

My "just friend" (we have to clarify that to people because apparently it's pretty obvious to everyone besides the two of us that we're not really "just" friends) and I have talked about body image and weight a few times. The first time he said very firmly "you're big, but you're healthy, and that's what's important" and then changed the subject. Another time he said that for many guys, it's not about size so much as shape and (very enthusiastically) some guys LIKE curvy women! (Plus, of course, larger women have bigger "basic B's" and that's always a good thing.) He has a much thinner idea of "curvy" than I do, but he's always been vocal about not liking "girls with their bones sticking out." We first met when I was 424 pounds. I've been down to 305, back up to 374 and am down to 356 now. No matter what size I happen to be, he still makes me feel good about myself. He's never once made me feel like my weight is an issue. He did tell somebody once (about 50 pounds ago, by the way) that I was "pretty much perfect just the way I was." He's expressed interest in girls with a variety of different body types, most of them much thinner than I am, but I also catch him staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, and he likes to be in my personal space and find excuses to touch me and lean hard against me when he wants to say something quietly in my ear and a couple of times he's put his arm around me, so I don't think losing more weight will make him any less attracted to me.

I'm never going to be bony or athletic, and those are the only two body types he's specifically expressed disinterest in. But honestly, I think in a healthy relationship, as long as you're making an effort with your appearance and with the relationship, he's not going to lose interest. Have you ever met anyone who wasn't really that good looking, but the more you got to know him, the more attractive he got? If you maintain the person you are on the inside, it's going to show on the outside no matter what size you are. I'm always blown away by compliments on how I look, but it happens at least a couple of times a month, so I must be doing something right! I just do the best I can with what I've got, and remember that the one thing I CAN change is my attitude. Even at my heaviest I insisted on doing my hair and makeup and putting on real clothes. (It makes me sad to see heavy women whose appearance screams "I don't respect myself and I don't expect you to respect me, either!") I have a strict rule that I have to look at myself in the mirror every morning and find something nice to say before I leave the house. The first time I did this, I stood there for the longest time staring at myself. Then I cried and went back to bed. The next day, the same thing. By day 4, I was getting desperate. I had to go to work! So I mumbled that I guessed my hair was kind of okay, sort of, and slunk off to work feeling bad because I hadn't kept the deal I made with myself. That night someone commented on how I'm always smiling and what a nice smile I had. I went back to that darn mirror and realized other people do NOT see me the same way that I see myself. I see a shy, awkward, nerdy blob of fat. Other people see a friendly smile, nice hair, and a great sense of humor. I've found that when you act like you expect people to like you, and make an effort to be likeable, people think you're better looking.

And it helps that I've found a real keeper, too.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

@@stardustandsunshine Probably getting a bit personal, but why are you still "just friends" with this guy if he seems so interested and makes you feel so great about yourself?

[stardustandsunshine 15]

@JamieLogical: That's okay, I kind of opened myself up to questions when I opened my mouth. And the answer is, we're getting there. It's not really a question of "if" any more so much as "when." Neither one of us is interested in a casual fling and neither one of us is quite ready to get married yet, so we're both in this sort of limbo between friends and more than friends. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. We've talked about relationships several times before and we both agree that taking it slow and getting to know the other person and building a solid friendship is the most important part of any romantic relationship. He was engaged a few years ago and it ended badly. It took him a long time to get over it. He said awhile back that he's afraid to try again. "What if I really click with someone now and 20 years down the road we turn out to be two completely different people and we break up? There aren't any guarantees in life." (A guy friend of mine tells me most guys go through this phase before they get serious about a girl.)

I don't think he's a commitment-phobe, though. We talk about things like what he did wrong before and learning from his mistakes. (I've never had a serious relationship myself, but for my part, I talk about what I would want from a future boyfriend.) Over the past six months or so, he's slowly escalated from "I'm not looking for a relationship" to getting to know each other's family and friends, talking about things we're going to be doing together months or a year from now, and even joking about marriage. He's altered plans for his immediate future to fit around me, and as we each talk about where we see our lives going, our long-term plans are heading in ever-more-similar directions. He discusses his decisions with me and encourages me in my career when I ask his advice. I'm the first person he calls whenever he has a major life event. As long as things are moving in a forward direction and I'm comfortable with where we're at, I'm fine with giving him all the time and space he needs. The more I get to know him the more sure I am that he's "the one," but even if we somehow don't end up together, he's still been an awesome friend and a great example. I've been lucky and blessed to have him in my life, and some other girl is going to be very fortunate someday.

I didn't mean to get so off-topic. My point was just that there are plenty of guys out there who will love us no matter what size we are. Those of us who've already met one are very fortunate and those of you who haven't, it's just a matter of time.

[Elode 8,093]

@@betrthnever Well screw him!!....oh wait, or not

[betrthnever 107]

@@betrthnever Well screw him!!....oh wait, or not

Was just curious as to what others have gone through with this. Not overly worried any which way...thanks for the levity

[Elode 8,093]

@@betrthnever No clue, I've never had a guy not want to have sex, just insult me with the you look sick phrase. Doesn't matter though if that ever happens there's only like A million+ guys out there that would. So BYE dude!