i think i have bulimia

[RNmama8413 1]

I am just about 7 months out and down 64lbs.... this started because I ate too much once or twice and i made myself sick, then I was so afraid of stretching out my stomach that even if I ate just enough I still felt like I had to throw up and now its a compulsive thing, I feel like I have to do it constantly, and not when I eat everything but if I exceed my carb limits or whatever ill make myself puke to get them out.... I am very aware that this is a problem, but im a nurse and a mom and admitting that Im doing this to myself is terrifying, mostly because im terrified that if I stop my stomach will somehow stretch out. I don't typically binge although I have a time or 2.... Does anyone have any suggestions, I know I need help I guess im just looking for some reassurance that im not alone.

[MarceMonster 161]

First, I would like to say how sorry I am you are going through this, and I hate that you have to experience this amount of anxiety and fear. My advice would be to see a psychologist ASAP. The sooner you break a habit the easier it is. I would also like to add that even if you are throwing up after a binge you will still have consumed at the minimum 50% of the calories, and simple sugars break down very quickly; so it is not an effective tool either. I also want to let you know that you shouldn't actively worry about your stomach stretching, my doctor says that the majority of things said about stomach stretching is a myth. It is very hard to actually stretch your stomach and you will never stretch it back to the size of your previous stomach. I don't know if that lessens your concerns at all. Again, bulimia is a very serious disorder and I do not want to dismiss any of your feelings, but the first thing to do would be stop, immediately, then see a doctor or psychologist, and with regards to your diet, go back to basics: eat Protein first, then veggies, the fruit, then other carbs. I hope you find some peace.

[MissKit 13]

Hey Mama,

Just as Marce had said you should head to phycologist asap.

The fact that you are realizing this is huge and takes a lot to admit the issue. Also like Marce's doctor, my doctor has also said that most of what people say about stretching your stomach is not totally accurate, but that we should eat a healthy diet. You will get back on track be positive!

[RNmama8413 1]

It does make me feel much better that you guys said the stomach doesn't stretch as easily as everyone says. I did this so I would be healthy for my daughter and for myself and here I am doing something just as destructive in place of being obese... it's such a head game and I was not at all prepared for that

[dlmacarthur 10]

RNmama - so I'm a little newer to the surgery ( I just had surgery Wednesday morning), however, bulimia is something I struggled with pre surgery. I still regularly see a counselor regarding it because I can only imagine how much damage it can do to our bodies post surgery. I know this may sound silly but I didn't use to think being obese and bulimic at the same time was possible so I always denied it was an issue. The truth is anyone can fight with it and if you continue the behavior, you are guaranteed to cause you at minimum emotional issues but very likely add physical problems. I strongly recommend you get some help and reach out to a doctor about this. I wish you the very best.

[MarceMonster 161]

RNmama - so I'm a little newer to the surgery ( I just had surgery Wednesday morning), however, bulimia is something I struggled with pre surgery. I still regularly see a counselor regarding it because I can only imagine how much damage it can do to our bodies post surgery. I know this may sound silly but I didn't use to think being obese and bulimic at the same time was possible so I always denied it was an issue. The truth is anyone can fight with it and if you continue the behavior, you are guaranteed to cause you at minimum emotional issues but very likely add physical problems. I strongly recommend you get some help and reach out to a doctor about this. I wish you the very best.

Not only is being bulimic and overweight possible, but I learned in my Abnormal Psychology course that it is the norm. Apparently a large percentage of bulimic patients are overweight. This is partially because bulimia often goes hand in hand with binge eating and after you consume 3,000-10,000 calories in a sitting and then purge you are only getting rid of at most 50% of the original intake. In other words it is common the people who suffer with bulimia are still consuming more then the average person, in terms of calories. That being said it is treatable and like any other habit it can be broken. If the OP's main concern is stomach stretching, please do t worry about that. I saw a great YouTube video regarding stomach stretching post sleeve surgery : look up Dr Mathew Weiner Stomach Stretching video, he explains it better then I can!

[RNmama8413 1]

So you guys would classify it as bulimia then?! I can't stop myself it's become a compulsion, even now with you guys having said I won't stretch out my stomach like I'm afraid I will I still have to do it.... I laughed at the counselor when I went for my mental evaluation when she asked me if I had ever been bulimic... like uh do I look like I've ever had a problem and now I get why they ask!! I don't regret it for a minute but u do wish someone would have told me what a mental and emotional journey this was going to be because I was not prepared for that aspect

[RNmama8413 1]

I also don't want anyone to think I'm an unfit mom or something...

[dlmacarthur 10]

I have been diagnosed as being bulimic - I'm no doctor, but based off what I've been told, because it was a compulsion that I could not control and did it on a regular basis, it was bulimia. It does not make you a bad mother at all, please don't ever think that! More than likely all of us are on this page because we have issues with food, whether it's overeating, purging, emotional eating, etc. My surgeon even told me it was not uncommon for many of the patients he had seen to have dealt with bulimia in the past, however he was a big proponent of me continuing counseling throughout my transition after surgery to ensure that I don't gal back into bad habits.

The amount of physical damage I did to myself when I was actually getting more than enough food in actually really concerns me if you're doing it after surgery where you probably aren't getting as much of the nutrients you should be anyway. Please take care of yourself. It is scary, but you have made it this far and I know you can overcome this too.

[MarceMonster 161]

Hey RNmamma, please don't worry, no one here thinks you are a bad mother. There are plenty of women that suffer with food disorders and are amazing mothers. That being said, how much easier would parenting be if you didn't worry so much about food. So, like he other poster said, I am not a doctor, but if you honestly feel it is a compulsion and you are engaging in purging on a regular basis, then yes I would think you would be classified as bulimic, but you absolutely should see a medical professional who specializes in eating disorders or psychology, in addition to meeting with your bariatric doctor to update him. If you are really concerned about the diagnosis you could look up the DSM-5 criteria for bulimia and see if you fit the required symptoms. I hope you get ahold of this and soon, not only for health reasons, but I know for me personally the constant worry about what food I consumed is annoying and almost heartbreaking. I'll be thinking of you. Please let us know what you decide to do. There is no shame in admitting you need help.

[RNmama8413 1]

Well I definitely need help, both with this and with my obsession with food in general!! I'll be looking into what my insurance covers on monday!! The DSM-5 would classify this as an eating disorder for sure, I had to buy one for my abnormal psych class, it's outdated but the info for eating disorders hasn't changed much since that class

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

In the meantime you can go online to www.oa.org. There may be se literature and podcasts that can help you. You can also look for meetings in your area as well as phone meetings.

[laguerr13 993]

Hey RNmama: not getting help is what makes someone a bad mom!!!!!!

I work around nurses and Dr.'s all day , I work at a psych hospital, and I can say you don't need to see a shrink YET!!! You already are seeing that there is some kind of problem and recognize the signs and symptoms, so denial is outta the way, first make an appointment with a counselor or therapist, make sure you tell them EVERYTHING, and try to work with them first, if you get nowhere take the next step them see a psychiatrist, ironically almost every week I see a mom in distress that maybe their child will be removed from the home or monitored, ironically most professionals recognize when a parent is trying to get help on their own before something happens and 9 out 10 times so not want to get involved and the 1% that do is because it is causing harm to the child in some way, you are on the opposite way of the spectrum, but are in more danger of doing yourself long term harm, and I hate to say this but I think it's necessary, wouldn't you rather take an hour or two a week to go see someone or are you willing to wait til you are hospitalized for a few weeks???? Or longer..... Be a great nurse and get help now.....your already a great mom !!!!!

[RNmama8413 1]

Hey RNmama: not getting help is what makes someone a bad mom!!!!!!

I work around nurses and Dr.'s all day , I work at a psych hospital, and I can say you don't need to see a shrink YET!!! You already are seeing that there is some kind of problem and recognize the signs and symptoms, so denial is outta the way, first make an appointment with a counselor or therapist, make sure you tell them EVERYTHING, and try to work with them first, if you get nowhere take the next step them see a psychiatrist, ironically almost every week I see a mom in distress that maybe their child will be removed from the home or monitored, ironically most professionals recognize when a parent is trying to get help on their own before something happens and 9 out 10 times so not want to get involved and the 1% that do is because it is causing harm to the child in some way, you are on the opposite way of the spectrum, but are in more danger of doing yourself long term harm, and I hate to say this but I think it's necessary, wouldn't you rather take an hour or two a week to go see someone or are you willing to wait til you are hospitalized for a few weeks???? Or longer..... Be a great nurse and get help now.....your already a great mom !!!!!

Thank you so much, I needed that!!

[laguerr13 993]

Your welcome, and I got a better response than when I told my nurse she had an infection and needed to go see a doctor, she went and did have an infection so she told me thank you then told me I was smug and to kiss her butt...... I love healthcare professionals......lol