Why do people say the things they do?

[Hello new me 153]

Hello everyone. I have been researching on-line and reading post on this forum for several months now. I am a lower BMI patient who will be having self pay surgery on August 6th. I am nervous, excited, and just plain scared some days. I just got done with my pre-op class with the nutritionist. I was really frustrated during the class due to the comments and looks I received from other participants in the class (What are you doing here? There is no way you need this? Your MD is really letting you do this?). It is really bad when you go somewhere for help and support and you feel just as ostracized as walking into a normal size clothing store. We are all in the same boat by turning to WLS as a tool to help us control our weight and become a healthier version of ourselves. If these are the same people who will be participating in the support group meetings, then I don't see those being of much help. I don't know if there is a place to turn now for guidance and support. Most people on here seems to all be working towards the same goal and are pretty supportive. I decided to post today to both vent and hopefully find a place to turn to during the upcoming weeks, months, and years!

[skyjones 40]

Hello I totally agree with you. I'm just starting my process but I'm here for u and hopefully vise versa it doesn't matter to me what your bmi is just as long as your getting healthier for u

[TXTinana 269]

I am sorry you had to encounter that. I am definitely of a higher BMI, but I do not look down on anyone who is ready to become a healthier version of themselves. I mentioned just now in another thread, but I have found this forum to be a blessing. It's a support group right at my fingertips. Forget the haters

[CloserToFine 172]

As a lower BMI patient, I got a few sidelong looks myself at the support group meetings, but everyone was very nice. No one is walking your journey or knows your truth but you. We all have reasons for getting the surgery, and most of us have struggled a long time to admit we needed/wanted it. But we've done the research and worked the plan and now we're here. None of us needs to justify our choices to anyone else.

This forum welcomes people warmly, gives great advice and never hesitates to lend a helping hand. My fellow posters are the best, and I'm glad you're here to share their wise support!!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

comments - looks I received (What are you doing here? no way you need this?

@@Hello new me

welcome newbie

the more the merrier

there is another thread here on the board with OP having a lower BMI (lower than 40)

"they" have probably experienced similar comments, looks etc from others

many/most people get approved for WLS if their weight is very high and they have many comorbities

its like the worse the better

how crazy is that?

you shouldn't/must not justify your necessity/feelings/reasons for wanting/having the surgery performed -

this is your business

not up to "them" or anyone else (family, friends, etc

you gotta let those stupid comments roll off your back (easier said than done)

this is your body and decision

"I don't know if there is a place to turn now for guidance and support. Most people on here seems to all be working towards the same goal and are pretty supportive. I decided to post today to both vent and hopefully find a place to turn to during the upcoming weeks, months, and years!"

This is the exact place to be preparing for surgery

you'll see many great questions that you might have also been wondering about pre-op

you e find many/most of us very supportive!!!

receive helpful information before and after you are sleeved

you will hear questions/comment about having surgery elsewhere (ie Mexico like you)

there is a separate forum on travel to mexico (not sure that is wear you are going)

you will get good comments/help from OP

we are allll working on getting feeling heather and happier

learning how to deal with maintenance after goal

after surgery keep coming back to this board

you will see many wonderful people here (especially me )

post op, ask your questions/assistance from others who have already had surgery

you'll find others that have had surgery at same time period than you

you are not alone

vent away, other good reason to "show your face"

August 6th is around the corner

good luck with surgery

speedy, uneventful recovery

kathy

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

It may not be that these people are "hating" but maybe envious because it might be a struggle for them to even think about being your size from where they are now. After surgery you will all have something in common, having had the surgery and will have the same experiences with stalls, food intake etc.

Know that their attitudes come from a place within them and is not about you. It could be that they feel uncomfortable being bigger than you and feeling exposed in a room where you are. I would hope as they see you are not judging them, then they will accept you.

Good luck!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Just to offer my opinion, I don't think a BMI of 36 is particularly low BMI. Anyone with WLS insurance or Medicare and 3 co-morbidities will qualify for WLS.

Just sayin'.

I'm glad you have the chance to have WLS. Very best to you.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Learn the art of not giving a damn. Reaching the point where I didn't care enough about what people said or thought about me was life changing. Once I realized I couldn't stop or control anything someone else said or did life got a whole lot easier. Now if you are not putting food on my table or money in my pocket, your opinion doesn't matter one bit to me.

[Hello new me 153]

Thanks all! I know this is a start of a journey that I am more than happy to be on! I feel much better already that I have a place to come to get additional support. My husband is already my rock, but he does not always understand my struggles. I look forward to getting to know many of you in very near future.

[Babbs 14,681]

Just to offer my opinion, I don't think a BMI of 36 is particularly low BMI. Anyone with WLS insurance or Medicare and 3 co-morbidities will qualify for WLS.

Just sayin'.

I'm glad you have the chance to have WLS. Very best to you.

Yes, this.

Only in this day and age would people consider a BMI of 36 (which is still considered obese and very unhealthy) "too small for WLS".

[amazon 579]

I had a similar experience. I was a BMI of 36 with comorbidities. Considered a "light weight" as it's called. Seems like a silly phrase when one is MO.

I did at times feel a bit out of place. There were people around me with a lot more to lose, and some would make joking comments about me not needing WLS, even an occassional nurse. Well, believe me, I did. I didn't take any of it to heart - I knew why I was there and what I was doing. Nothing was meant to discourage me.

Do what you're doing for you, no one else. :-)

[Babbs 14,681]

I had a similar experience. I was a BMI of 36 with comorbidities. Considered a "light weight" as it's called. Seems like a silly phrase when one is MO.

I did at times feel a bit out of place. There were people around me with a lot more to lose, and some would make joking comments about me not needing WLS, even an occassional nurse. Well, believe me, I did. I didn't take any of it to heart - I knew why I was there and what I was doing. Nothing was meant to discourage me.

Do what you're doing for you, no one else. :-)

Yup, to your point, it doesn't matter if you have a BMI of 36 or a BMI of 50, the extra weight takes the same toll on our bodies.

Obesity is an equal opportunity disease

[TXTinana 269]

Obesity is an equal opportunity disease

Ha! I like that!