Need support

[ErinPgh 3]

I had gastric bypass on July 13th so I am 2 weeks post surgery. Recovery is going well. Strictly following surgeons orders. Have had some emotional times but guess that's normal.

Have had great support from friends but some strange interactions with family members. My 4 year old niece has a bday this week. I have spent each bday with her. Tonight my sister ( her mom) told me that she is worried that her bday activity would be too much walking for me and that they were planning on going to lunch and they wouldn't want me to feel uncomfortable. Feel totally excluded and sad..... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Scarlet56 6]

_{I am so sorry to hear that. I too went through a similar situation. Come to find out they were doing it for my own best interest. I told them that I could make my own decisions and from now on they ask me. I was and still am very emotional. I am two months out, things improve everyday.. Keep in mind that each day things will get better. I would explain to your sister that you don't want to miss this event and if it gets too much you will go home or whatever...................TALK TO YOUR SISTER!!!}

[armywife79 123]

Hey Erin,

I'm sorry to hear your having such a rocky start but, it's really normal in the beginning. Even though I had band before this, I still felt very isolated at first because it is a much more serious surgery. As to the family issues, I had something similar with my in laws. I think sometimes some people view people like us as out of control. They think we did the surgery because we are emotionally weak and could not do this on our OWN and thats how they treat us. You may hear this lovely phrase either put that bluntly or mildly suggested many times over the course of your new life ( post WLS). You have to lean on your new peers like us for support, trust in your choice and understand that this is a problem with their world perspective, not a problem with you. We as a WLS community seem to have to suffer many fools and tons of questions and comments that people would never dream of asking or saying to others. I know you don't feel this way today but, this will make you a stronger person.Yes, even the hurtful B day thing! Several months from now, you will have some time and experience under your belt and these little jabs wont sting as much. It will be you on the other end of the key board offering the shoulder ( a much slimmer shoulder! lol) If you feel your family may be open to talking, then say how you feel but, sometimes only we get all the emotions that go along with this ride. Give yourself some time to get your own head around your new self and life and then see how you feel about how your family is behaving. If you still feel it's worth a talk, then def, talk it out. Also, were always here to bounce stuff off of too. This all gets easier, this is the hard part, I pinky swear! Keep your head up! HUGS!

[ErinPgh 3]

Thank you so much Scarlet56 and Armywife79! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ great perspective! I am actually meeting a coworker of mine who had band surgery 2 years ago tomorrow for support.

[2twinkle 86]

Hey Erin,

I guess my experience was the opposite. I am 18 days post, and last weekend I was a house guest of a dear friend. At first she kept asking to feed me or apologizing for eating, I finally asked her not to baby me, and said I was happily in charge of my own nutrition and there was no need for her to be sorry about feeding herself.

She was good with that, and knew I could ask for what I needed. She also recently married a doctor who was very supportive.