Having Doubts

[nyjocool 4]

Hi, I'm new here. In 2009, I pursued lap band surgery and stopped the process 2/3 he way through the approval process. I got scared. Looking back, I am glad I didn't do the lap band at that time. I know there are complications now and many had to get their bands removed.

Here I am in 2015 with a BMI of 37 and multiple co morbidities. My type II diabetes is getting worse every month. I have sleep apnea and high blood pressure.

I am concerned about complications of the surgery, like a leak. I know it's uncommon but it happens. I also have family and friends tell me I can lose the weight on my own. I can, but I can never keep it off. I have been trying for 20 years. I am concerned about not having diet soda, gum, etc. ever again. I hate the word never. From your experience, were you able to have an occasional "never" on the list?

I dream about being at goal by next summer and getting off my medications but part of me has doubts.

Is it normal to feel this way?

PS. I have Cigna insurance and am looking at a November surgery.

Thank you!

Joanne

[The Candidate 3,215]

It is so absolutely normal to feel this way, so don't worry about that. You are not alone.

As far as the risks involved, they are definitely a real possibility. I would advise you to research extensively and list the pros and cons of the procedures available, as well as what it would mean health wise to either stay where you are, or move forward.

But when it comes time for those pros and cons to be tallied and a final decision made, that's something only you can do. You definitely don't want to move forward unless you are absolutely positive that it is the right thing for you to do.

Good luck and welcome!

[jane13 2,256]

@@nyjocool - There are only a few "nevers" that I truly consider a "forever never". I am still a newbie, being post 11 weeks and 1 day, but I would have to list a big forever never as diet soda, or any soda. I was a big fan of caffeine free diet coke. I didn't drink them regularly but if I did it was that or regular sprite. I chew gum (sugar-free).

I think you need to re-think about what "never" means post-op. I think in most cases, "never" a whole pint of ice cream, a big glass of fully sugar sweetened iced tea, bucket of buttered popcorn at the movies. IMHO you could have a couple of bites of the ice cream, a SF glass of tea, and a couple of handfuls of well chewed popcorn (minus the tons of butter) after you have had surgery and get past the restrictions on your diet suggested by doctor/NUT. I haven't had ice cream or popcorn because I just HAVENT wanted them. I have had tea, I just add the lemonade SF drops. I LOVE popcorn and not having it I thought would bother me. It hasn't. I am really not a big ice cream person but I used it as an example.

I did the surgery for me, and have no regrets. I am wearing clothes I haven't worn since 2007.

That's a "never" I thought that was forever (being able to wear clothes that start with a number 1)

Edited July 23, 2015 by jane13

[hockeyfan7 249]

It's normal to have doubts. But you have to weigh which is more important - getting your health back or running the possibility of a complication. Yes they can happen. But there are many people who have had the surgery with no complications. All surgeries have risks. But your diabetes and other co-morbidities are risks to your health and life too.

I don't have a never. I have had some diet soda. I tried ice cream but found it really nasty and way too sweet. You may find your taste buds change. I used to eat Lay's potato chips by the 1 lb bagful. I tried one at a church picnic a couple of weeks ago and it was awful. I used to eat candy bars for lunch. Now sweets do not appeal to me at all.

[jss1988 54]

@@nyjocool - I can honestly relate to you. I have had my reservations about the surgery and have been thinking about it since last December. I understand that your family and friends are telling you that you can do this without the surgery, but there are a million ways to skin a cat. You have to honestly consult with yourself to determine what is the best avenue that works for you. Like you, I have lost and gained weight all of my life. I know what is healthy and what is not, and I still eat poorly. The only thing that I am really good at is gaining weight.

Since you know that your surgery won't be until November, maybe you should try to lose weight "naturally" one last time. If it works, then you have nothing to fear because you will no longer need the surgery. If you fail to lose the weight, maybe that will ease some of your concerns about getting the surgery. Either way, you will be trying and moving one step closer to being healthy.

I am getting the surgery for the same reasons you are. I am on the brink of having three comorbidities and would like to lose this weight to avoid any medication. Let me know if you would like to discuss this matter further. I wish you the best of luck.

[nyjocool 4]

Thank you for all the great responses so far. To hear you can eventually have two sips of soda or a few bits of popcorn makes me feel better.

I am eating healthy and walking 20 minutes every day. I am focusing on eating more Protein and less carbs. My way of thinking is if I get denied by my insurance, that is a sign that it's not meant to be. If I lose weight in the next few months and my BMI goes below 35, it's not meant to be.

I will make a list of pros and cons though as I do think it's helpful.

What a great group!

[peaceout 273]

Welcome! I think your concerns are something that just about everyone has at some point on this journey.

As with every surgery, there certainly are risks. Only you can decide if the benefits outweigh them for you at this point in your life. And as for the "nevers," that varies from person to person as well, and your concern over diet soda is a great example. There are many people on this forum who can and do still enjoy diet soda,others whose sleeve just cannot handle the carbonation, and still others whose cravings for the stuff never came back enough to try it again.

Best of luck to you on whatever you decide!

[jjp 32]

Totally normal all that means is you were paying attention when the told you they were removing 85% of a HEALTHY organ and it was irreversible. I just got home from my surgery and it was major surgery and there is significant discomfort. BUT I have given myself a powerful tool to get the weight off and keep it off and develop a healthy relationship with food. If you are like me and have yo-yo'd always to gain back the weight (and a little more) this could be the one thing that can change your attitude toward food and health. As far as the opinions of others undoubtedly they mean well, but to thine own self be true

[Monnie815 64]

Doubts are normal. My mom was a diabetic before her RY bypass she was on 6 shots per day & many other meds. She hasn't had a shot since day before surgery. That was 3 yrs plus ago.

My doctor said he didn't believe in NEVER foods. That you would have to learn moderate & seldom foods. You got to decide if you want to miss out on life cause your weight & health or miss a few foods. And that is easier said than done. I don't want to sound like a hard butt. But that is how it is.

Hang in there...yes there are risk but sounds like you gotta decide which is worse your health risks now or a rare risk in surgery?????

[hockeyfan7 249]

And you will find that there are foods you can eat that are just as delicious. Yesterday I had grilled filet mignon and grilled zucchini for lunch. Today I'm having broiled lobster tail and salad.

Does that sound like I"m deprived because I can't have cake?

Oh and I'm really bad - I told my husband it was my special diet food. LOL!

[kmd0235 38]

You are like me in that way both have a relatively small amount of weight to lose compared to those that will be losing 100+ pounds. I think in some ways the decision is harder when you have a little less to lose because you do tell yourself that you can do it "on your own." And yes, I was successful "on my own" at losing, but never maintaining. Honestly, I just got sick of the struggle. Plus, once I turned 40 and my metabolism slowed, it became extremely difficult to lose. I also have co-morbidities and decided that I wanted to lick this issue once and for all. I am 4 weeks out, and although it has not been easy, I am happy with my decision. I feel great and am wearing clothes that have been sitting in the back of my closet for years.

Edited July 23, 2015 by kmd0235

[shellyd88 463]

Ok I'm five months post op I chew gum every day I was told no gum don't think it was explained why I took up gum chewing when I put down smoking lol I'm alive to tell about it so I guess it won't harm you as long as u don't swallow it I agree with what others are saying lots of things I used to like and eat a lot of don't taste the same which is a good thing for those of us who tend to eat bags of chips or pints of ice cream etc put in whatever your favorite is or was lol plus u get full faster so u do feel satisfied after a while u can eat things not so good for you occasionally just not everyday for example I've had a bit of potato or bread here or there I just don't make it a habit or the meal I sometimes miss being able to have say a sub but I sure do like not having high blood pressure or heading into diabetes or sleep apnea and not having trouble breathing going up the stairs and fitting in the chair in the dr office hair salon etc

[Painter Girl 3]

I am still in the research phase and have started my 6 month pre op visits.... I saw something on Youtube (such great sharing going on there) that scared the crap out of me.... Doctor was saying after you loose a lot initially, your body will try to have a new metabolic set point and you will start to regain your hunger again.... and there are some people that gain more weight back, because your body's metabolizm is changing again.... Here's that slippery slope that I have fell down all my life......

If I do such a DRASTIC PERMANENT surgery... I don't want to have to worry about regaining.... Absolutely scared out of my mind that I will be fat again, with a tiny stomach.... God please help me. Is this going to be yet another "diet" that I am going to fail at ???

[chrisredjeep 357]

Hockey fan 7 that is so naughty I will try that one out when I'm off this post op liquid diet !

[shellyd88 463]

Yes u can gain back again the issue is the same as always burn more than u consume if u eat or drink high calorie high fat high carb high sugar yep it will be right back where it was