You're too thin! Stop losing now!

[bellabloom 2,467]

I've had several people mention they think I am getting too thin and need to stop losing. Especially my mom, who has taken it upon herself to make comments about my weight my entire life. I'm always either too fat or too thin for her.

How do you deal with these reactions from people? I need some advice.

I'm 5'6 and at 128. I'd like to maintain at 120-125. Yes I'm very thin but I like it. I feel beautiful.

[laneydasilva 34]

Say thanks for your concern with smile

[Pinkpeonies1 87]

Sounds like my mother. She would say you're gaining weight and look bad. Then I was banded and lost 70 lbs and all of a sudden I was too thin and looking sickly. Band was removed due to complications and I regained the weight then again she's making those comments. I finally had to tell her she wasn't happy with how I look either way and she apologized. I can wait to see if she'll do it again once I have my revision and start losing again.

[Anouli 28]

I've had a lot of people say that to me as well. I think it's mostly because they're so used to our old bodies they can't seem to grasp our new ones aren't unhealthy just because they're a lot different than before. I always say "I am, look and feel perfectly healthy but thanks for your concern.". That usually seems to stop them from making any more comments or some might say "Well yeah but don't lose any more okay?" and that's the end of it. Unfortunately we can't make everyone like us. Some will say you need to lose weight and some will say you need to stop losing. What's important is for you to be happy with your body and feel healthy and strong.

P.S.1 You look quite healthy and very beautiful to me!

P.S.2 English isn't my first language so I apologize if I'm not being understood.

[belle40 3]

You look amazing!! My mom has been on my weight my whole life. I'm only 23 days out from surgery so I'm not at that place yet where people tell me that!

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

So it not only takes WLS surgery patients some time to catch up with their new identity as a thin person but also those who are close to them. My mom went from over 300 to 160 lbs. She is 5'10" and that would be a perfectly healthy weight for her but it seemed to me that she was literally wasting away. Although it is NONE of her business, I do believe that she is only commenting out of concern. It might be helpful for you to just pull up or print out a BMI chart and show and tell her "Mom, you don't have to worrry, see my BMI of 20-21 is right smack in the middle of the healthy weight range." "I know I seem super skinny compared to how I used to look but actually compared to those with a healthy weight I am right where I should be." And then "I appreciate your concern" and just repeat that no matter what she says. Just keep in mind that you do NOT owe her an explanation, but it can be your GIFT to her to help her worry less. My mom is 68 and I never saw her as frail prior to her surgery which she had about 8 years ago. But now she does look like a very tall little old lady. Not that 68 is old but she has been through a lot of health issues some of which were unrelated to her weight.

Also, she cannot argue with hard evidence and has to get a grip on herself after that :-)

[LipstickLady 25,682]

My favorite reply to inappropriate comments is simply, "I am SO tired of talking about my body. Let's talk about yours!".

[jane13 2,256]

@@bellabloom - you look great. if YOU feel great at 125, and your doctor is okay with it, then go for it! I am a little taller and I would feel anorexic at 140. I have my goal listed at 150 but that's like a DREAM weight. I am 52, and I am hoping to get below 170 first....then maybe 160...theres a lot of skin to flap in the wind now.

[amazon 579]

I agree with everything said above.

On a side note, I want to lose an additional 10 lbs. (that would get me below 130 at 5' 5.5") I made the mistake of mentioning that to a friend. I got the same response. I was like, WTF. Believe me, I have it to lose and it's not in my head, lol.