Everyone is an expert!

[Sharon1964 2,530]

At my office on my door, I have a countdown calendar for my surgery date (3 weeks from today, YAY!). People visiting my office who see the calendar ask me if I'm going on vacation as they are assuming that's what it's for.

I always say, "I'm having bariatric surgery."

Without fail, every single person then launches into "here's what you have to do", and then proceed to tell me how to be successful (whether it's Water or exercise or whatever). It's always about a friend or a relative or a friend of a friend. I've taken to holding up my hand to stop them and tell them that I've done all my research and I'm good to go.

If it didn't torment my boss so much, I would take down the calendar. My boss is in a panic over me having surgery; he thinks I'm going to be out for a month (I told him a week). I told him I've taken longer vacations than I'm going to be out for surgery.

/end rant

[The Candidate 3,215]

I'm all for for tormenting the boss, so leave it up. I have a pocket calendar I cross off, plus I use a great countdown app. that counts down in days, minutes, and seconds. Just looking at it gives me a mental lift, and helps with the waiting.

[B-52 7,113]

I hate to say it, but the same is true for people on this forum....everybody thinks they are an expert telling others what they should or should not do.

Giving advice even though they them selves are relatively new to all this and are only repeating what they have been told.

People have their own Dr.'s and that should be the source for answers.

All people here should do, is share their own personal experiences....if there is a topic, and I have no experience in that area, I keep my mouth shut....if there is a topic I have experienced, then I will respond, first by saying this is how it is/was FOR ME.......and recognize different people have different experiences.....

Ok, so much for my rant.

[Sharpie 3,306]

B52 I couldn't agree more..

[joatsaint 2,814]

I am an expert on my own opinion. :-P

[laguerr13 993]

I've gotten atleast 1-2 texts or phone calls a day from work, I was sleeved on June 10th and because I also had a pretty bad hernia repair it went from 2 weeks to almost a month and a half, my vacation days were usually 2-3 days here and there, and I had the same response last year when I took my first real family vacation and asked for 6 days, as for this expert thing, I only respond to people who haven't had gastric surgery and ask questions first, there are too many variables, surgeons, regiments, diets, etc..... So I say ultimately we are only experts of ourselves, but if someone asks something you can help with it is nice to offer a suggestion, good luck and keep the Boss crazy

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I hate to say it, but the same is true for people on this forum....everybody thinks they are an expert telling others what they should or should not do.

Giving advice even though they them selves are relatively new to all this and are only repeating what they have been told.

People have their own Dr.'s and that should be the source for answers.

All people here should do, is share their own personal experiences....if there is a topic, and I have no experience in that area, I keep my mouth shut....if there is a topic I have experienced, then I will respond, first by saying this is how it is/was FOR ME.......and recognize different people have different experiences.....

Ok, so much for my rant.

Good rant.

Truth.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I hate to say it, but the same is true for people on this forum....everybody thinks they are an expert telling others what they should or should not do.

Giving advice even though they them selves are relatively new to all this and are only repeating what they have been told.

I think there is a difference between asking and not asking a question. In my case, I did not ask a question or ask for opinions (I mean, in my office, not in posting this here).

If I post in rants, I expect people to respond. If I ask a question, I expect (hope!) people will respond. If I make a statement face-to-face with someone, I don't expect them to launch into a speech to try to educate me.

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

Just as any aspect of life, some people are educated about things and some are not. Yes, everyone's journey is their own but a lot of things are common among us. Most people just want to help as they have been helped, pay it forward.

I do not comment on things that I know nothing about. I will always try to help when someone posts a question because I assume they really want help, after all it is a support group.

I researched every day for 6 months before my surgery and I am very well informed on the plan and what works for most. You an tell the difference when someone is asking for true help and when t hey are asking for permission to cheat or do their own thing.

Agreed for sure that the first stop for advice should ALWAYS be your nutritionist or surgeon. I often email my nutritionist if I have a specific question about my plan or Vitamins.

People just have a desire to help sometimes. It is not always about telling you what to do, they just want to contribute. It is always okay to tell them you have a plan in place already and thank them for their interest in helping. You know sometimes they just might have something valuable to offer.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

@@ShrinkingPeach

Now don't you go ruining my rant, Missy!!!

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

Bahahaha...sorry! Well you know there are those know-it-alls that just want to tell you what to do...how's that? lmao

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

This is exactly why I am not advertising my surgery to people I know. I don't want to need their opinions or advice.

[SkinnyDown 409]

@@OutsideMatchInside Same here. I told very few people, and have no intention of letting them know now. I got enough bad feedback from some of my family members. I knew after that, to keep the circle very small of people who I really trusted were not going to give me advice, opinions, horror stories, or try to talk me out of it.

[gpmed 623]

I'm also trying to keep things mostly quiet for the same reason. Only three people really close to me are getting the full scoop. My boss is getting a slightly filtered version. With people at work, who will naturally be curious, wondering if I'm okay and such, I'm kind of keeping things an open secret. I'm basically trying to put out the vibe that if you want to come up and say good luck and not pry or something like that, it's okay. But I have a zero tolerance policy for negative/inappropriate comments or questions. So far I've really only had one person I've had to shut down, my sister, who has expressed bigoted views toward overweight people for years. I basically told her thanks but no thanks for the unsolicited advice.

[animallover1247 249]

I'm so glad you posted this Sharon! This is EXACTLY why I'm not telling anyone at work..because I don't want their opinions on something I didn't even ask them about! My office is a place of gossip anyway. I'm not telling my boss unless I have to, hoping I have enough leave to cover the surgery! Good Luck!