Spouse Not Supportive, any advice?

[CocteauJ 2]

Hi Everyone,

I'm a newbie. I just had my lap band out and I'm preparing for my gastric sleeve surgery in the fall. Today my husband sat me down and told me he was very worried about me having this surgery and he did not support me going through with it. I feel like I can't do it without his support. I understand that he is very concerned and worried about my health and the risk of complications - I get it. But I am so unhappy and I have tried every diet under the sun and struggled with the lap band in me for nearly 8 years (it failed.) He said that "there are some things we need to accept in life, and you being overweight is one of those things." He wants me to accept my weight and come to peace with it. I can not. I don't want to yo you diet and struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. I'm so sad he had this talk with me today. It caught me off guard because I thought he was all for it. Any advice from anyone who has gone through this with a reluctant spouse? Thank you

[shellyd88 463]

Just a curious question? Is your husband overweight or insecure? I'm not asking to be mean u don't have to just accept being overweight would u just accept heart disease or diabetes or a stroke? High blood pressure? High cholesterol ? there's no reason u should just accept it I can't imagine someone who cares about a person saying that It's like saying here have some sugar and fat and hey we all gotta die sometime! truth is we will all die sometime do you want to make it sooner rather than later? if u have kids do u want to see them grow up? Want to see grandchildren? Want to travel when u retire? If u get bigger and unhealthy will u be able? Will u have any quality of life? So he isn't comfortable with this? Is he going to get comfortable if u can't walk or have a stroke helping u bathe? Eat walk etc drive u everywhere if it would come to that? I sure hope so cuz it sure isn't going to be comfortable for you

[nativedoll1 7]

CocteauJ, I believe that your husband is just scared for you. Maybe it's due to lack of knowledge. It's evident that your weight don't bother him. Which is a good thing because you know he love you just the way you are now. But educated him on the risk of obesity. Let him know how it feel to be the size you are now and what limitations you are experiencing because of it. Talk to him. I pray that everything work out and he come around. If not, you have a great support system here and we got your back

[lmm300missouri 95]

Take him to one of the seminars the Drs ant wls centers put on. I am scheduled for next month and my husband is concerned but supportive so far. I had to do six months to qualify for any insurance so it has not been quick at all.

[Karen Crawford Wright 20]

Is he willing to talk to anyone at your surgery clinic? The risks and complications are higher without the surgery but he needs to hear it from a professional.

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

My surgery and recovery went amazingly well, as did everyone I know who had it. (and I know A LOT of people who have had it). If you are going to a Bariatric Center of Excellence, you are in good hands. I was out walking 3-5 miles per day a week post op!

[maggie409 765]

It is not his body. It is yours. He might be concerned about it, but if he loves you he will eventually support you.

[Cdominguez 26]

My husband was also worried but I had to tell him that this would improve my health in a lot of ways and after that he even attended a support group with me at the hospital. He was probably just worried Specially since you had the lap ban in the past Glad everything went ok

[CocteauJ 2]

Thank you everyone! I am going to have him come to my consult and attend a support meeting. I really appreciate the support! I will update as things progress.