Anyone felt like a failure for giving in to head hunger?

[tfarr 270]

I have been struggling for 2.5 months with giving in due to not caring anymore. I wake up caring, but then screw up and just say forget it!

I feel back to my old ways prior to surgery. I always told myself while going through the process " I'll never eat that way again! This is it and I will follow to a T!" Now I could cry because of my lack of commitment.

Please go easy on me

[Menelly 56]

Someone else on here says this better than me, but: You need to get "cheat" and "failure" out of your vocabulary. You have a choice, you make a choice, and next time you have a choice again. Choices are empowering. Cheating and failure lead to the same shame and guilt cycle that got us here in the first place.

I spent some time with my therapist coming up with alternatives I could do when I think I'm hungry and I know I'm not. Could you spend time thinking of alternatives? My favorite currently is coloring. It's really hard to shovel hand to mouth when you're using a crayon.

Think of 5-10 things that you can do for you, that would make you feel good, that aren't food related. That take only a few min. And use that list when head hunger hits. Mine includes things like coloring, turning on an old 80's Madonna song and dancing to it in my living room, throwing pebbles in the backyard, lotioning my body, singing, etc. Just something small, cheap, that'll bring a smile to your face and distract you. You need to learn how to find pleasure in life, not in food.

It may be time to employ your own therapist. Good luck!

[TLW 163]

You need to figure out why you are not caring anymore. Why you are trying to subconsciously sabotage yourself? The emotional eating you are doing is not because you are hungry, but seems to me like self defeat/ personal pain attached to the mind set, "Because I'm told not to, I'm going to." "I'm a failure and always will be..." This is too difficult." What you have is head hunger due to emotional suggestion.

I have had those feelings for so many years and I used food as my feel better, until guilt arrived shortly after. My issues were insecurities due to being molested, which led to weight gain, depression, anxiety... I urge you to identify your main pain source and once you deal with that, you will not want to cheat!

[joatsaint 2,814]

I fall prey to head hunger on occassion - even 30 months post-op. I have made a deal with myself. I can have a little of whatever I'm craving, as long as I fill up on Protein first. If I'm still hungry after eating Protein, then I eat a bit of whatever I crave, like having (just) 1 donut or cake - 1/2 a coffee cup full (a real coffee cup, no Starbucks Grande cup!) :-)

I am slowly retraining my brain to go for protein whenever I get a carb craving. I've started paying attention when I eat and notice the foods that cause me to have head hunger later on, or foods that make me hungrier as I eat them. Not surprisingly, most of them are process foods or foods like rice, Pasta, and potatoes - foods that convert into sugar quickly.

As long as I eat real food - vegetables, protein, fruit - my head hunger mostly stays away. It's only when I start eating frozen meals, side dishes that come from a box or bag, or processed meats (lunch meat) that my head hunger returns with a vengeance.

You are not a failure for giving into head hunger. It's only a setback, setbacks are not permanent. They only become a failure when you stop trying.

[tfarr 270]

I fall prey to head hunger on occassion - even 30 months post-op. I have made a deal with myself. I can have a little of whatever I'm craving, as long as I fill up on Protein first. If I'm still hungry after eating Protein, then I eat a bit of whatever I crave, like having (just) 1 donut or cake - 1/2 a coffee cup full (a real coffee cup, no Starbucks Grande cup!) :-)

I am slowly retraining my brain to go for protein whenever I get a carb craving. I've started paying attention when I eat and notice the foods that cause me to have head hunger later on, or foods that make me hungrier as I eat them. Not surprisingly, most of them are process foods or foods like rice, Pasta, and potatoes - foods that convert into sugar quickly.

As long as I eat real food - vegetables, protein, fruit - my head hunger mostly stays away. It's only when I start eating frozen meals, side dishes that come from a box or bag, or processed meats (lunch meat) that my head hunger returns with a vengence.

You are not a failure for giving into head hunger. It's only a setback, setbacks are not permanent. They only become a failure when you stop trying.

[maggie409 765]

I have been struggling for 2.5 months with giving in due to not caring anymore. I wake up caring, but then screw up and just say forget it!

I feel back to my old ways prior to surgery. I always told myself while going through the process " I'll never eat that way again! This is it and I will follow to a T!" Now I could cry because of my lack of commitment.

Please go easy on me

I'm sorry you are struggling. I remember those feelings all too vividly from before surgery. The only way to succeed is just keep trudging forward. And not giving up. I realized early on with my sleeve that I still have a food obsession. But I have redirected the obsession. Now I obsess over logging my food and deciding what to eat and setting timer on my phone for 30 mins so it will go off before and after meals. Go ahead and obsess. Just do it in a different way.

Sorry I can't give you a hug... But you know I'm thinking about it. Keep going. Please don't give up.