An Unexpected Lesson at the Cardiologist

[byebyebmi 100]

I had my appointment at the cardiologist today to get clearance for the surgery, and ended up getting a lot more than just cardiac clearance. The nurse who was doing my EKG asked me why I was there and I told her that I needed clearance for bariatric surgery and which procedure I was planning to do (sleeve).

After she finished the EKG she sat down next to me and said that she had gotten the same surgery five years ago. She told me that she lost 100 pounds in a year, kept it off for about a year and then gained every ounce of it back.

She said that over time you go from eating three bites to being able to eat five bites then a normal small meal and as time goes on if you keep eating and keep letting yourself get comfortable eating more, you will eventually eat exactly like you used to.

She said she knew she was addicted to food but that she was fully under the assumption that the sleeve was going to prevent her from eating more for pretty much the rest of her life.

She said that when she got down to a size 6 she was loving life and celebrating being thin and it made her want to go out more so instead of celebrating with hobbies and adventures and healthier things she kept celebrating with food. And that it was easy to feel like she was "done" what she set out to accomplish and didn't have to work at it anymore. So all her old habits came back.

I wanted to share that story because I felt like I was lucky to have been able to hear it before going through the procedure. She said that she did all the research, joined all the message boards, and everything she thought she needed to do to be prepared. But she never had a plan for how to eventually address emotional eating issues once it became time to enter the maintenance phase.

She gave me some advice like to not wait to start exercising so that it becomes part of your day before you hit maintenance. Also to continue going to support group meetings even long after losing the weight. Also that if legit food addiction is a problem for you then you'll need to possibly seek therapy and learn new coping skills because the surgery doesn't fix those things.

Some of those things I had heard before talking to her, but others were new lessons. And I'm so sorry for her that she wasn't prepared to handle her old emotional eating issues. But I was very glad to meet someone face to face who could tell me these things before I truly started the journey. I'm going to do whatever I can to not end up in that situation. It really seemed like she thought this was going to be the solution to all of her problems. So I'm hoping that since I have a grasp of the fact that I'll need to do a lot of work myself I am slightly ahead. But I know it's going to be hard.

[Mini_me007 121]

That just breaks my heart for her. I'm terrified of doing the exact same thing. Thank you for sharing that with us. Although I hate that it happened to her, I'm so happy she shared it with you. May it help all of us!

[missylsparks67 5]

Agreed, thank you for sharing.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

A great lesson well stated.

[mommyfrog3 41]

Thanks for sharing this! Really makes me think about the whole process. It's not just a physical process but also a mental one.

Edited July 20, 2015 by mommyfrog3

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Great information. Thank you so much for posting this.

And thanks to her for being so open and honest.

[Kushka 36]

That was brave of her to tell her story to you. Like the others posted, thank you for sharing it with us. I am four weeks post-op, and this is a good reminder of future challenges. It is time for me to get off my butt and start exercising.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I've been lurking on and posting on WLS message boards for over two years. I've seen so many patients post here and elsewhere that they are relieved to have been sleeved and to finally have something that keeps them from overeating.

But it seems that few people are willing to track their food intake other than to count Protein grams. Some don't even do that. Some seem to eat until their smaller stomachs tell them they're full. Many people seem to confuse satiety and being full.

Many people never say or seem to know know how much or what they're eating. "I was sleeved so I'd never have to diet again!" is a common refrain. When encouraged to track their food intake, their refusals sound a lot like children who whine, "Nobody's the boss of me!"

Being an oldster (69 years old), I just shake my head.

Anybody who is (or was) obese who thinks WLS is a magical solution that will excuse them from changing how much they eat and what they eat and other behaviors and ways of thinking that led them to become obese is (I wish there were a better term for this, but I can't think of one) a fool.

As usual, I'm preaching mostly to myself. I can't be a fool about this. I have to be a grown-up about this. I have to be vigilant about this. A little fear won't hurt me either.

[samuelsmom 670]

It really is scary, isn't it? I know I remind myself that the disease of obesity isn't going away, it is just being controlled. It helps me to always keep in mind that I am fighting a chronic disease that is incurable. I am down 93 pounds but know that I could easily start grazing and start gaining.

[The Candidate 3,215]

That's a reality check worth sharing. Thank you for doing so. Complacency is a dangerous course and can bring anyone right back to where they started.

[sbg224 318]

Thank you for sharing. I met a man who was quite large. He overheard me talking with a friend about my upcoming sleeve surgery. He said, very politely, he had the bypass done 5 years ago in Belgium because they have the lowest infection rates and MRSA, but besides that, he said he lost 100lbs, but regrets ever having it done. His comment was as he pointed to his stomach, they changed this and then as he pointed to his head, but they did not change this. It also scares me, and they say it's after 18 months to 2 years, that the appetite and overeating can come back. He said he is never hungry but cannot stop drinking sodas and snacking. I am having it done 8/3, an right now we just have to take it day by day, just like an alcoholic, I guess. I am not going to worry about what might be in 2 years, but it is good to keep it in mind. Lets all hope we do great and keep it off.

[sleeve_getter 41]

Thanks for sharing both of these stories. It should be part of our mental preparations to make it a lifetime change and not a diet until goal. I think the sleeve tool will simply be our jump start to quicker success but not our cure!

[purplegirl20073 33]

I have a coworker that I see heading down this road. She is only 10 1/2 weeks out, but she doesn't listen to anything that she's told. At slightly over a month out she ate an entire slice of NY pizza, she orders Chinese food with white rice for lunch, today she went on break with a gallon sized ziplock bag half filled with carrots and celery along with an entire canister of homemade dip. She ate half of what was there. I don't even know where she put it. That's great that you are eating healthy, but I was told to start each meal with Protein, then veggies. She said she will just make sure to have a Premier Protein shake and a premier Protein Bar every day, so that her protein is covered and she eat what she wants. She gets sick after every meal, but she just doesn't care. Then she has the nerve to say "I gained 3 pounds this week. I can't understand why since I had the surgery. I should be losing without effort." All I have to say is that I am learning WHAT NOT TO DO.

[byebyebmi 100]

I understand that everyone is different, but it annoys me personally when I see people on the forums who are complaining or whining about the time it takes to get approved for WLS. I know people want it done like, yesterday, but its not going to do anyone any good to rush and get it done for the wrong reasons or unprepared and then end up like the woman I met. I personally have been embracing the pre-op clearances, psych evaluation and NUT counseling. I want to be as mentally prepared as possible (although I know its not possible to understand until someone actually has it done). But for people like me who have lost a bunch of weight and gained it back in the past, if I don't get into the right frame of mind why would this be any different after a year or two? Answer: it won't be.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

It is a great cautionary tale. I got to goal in Feb 2103 and I promise you maintaining now is much harder than it was over the last 2 years. No joke. I am hanging in there near goal but have regained some from my smallest.

I don't think the urge to eat will ever go away. I have no desire to stuff myself but I constantly want more than I need to maintain my weight. It is force of willl.