Fed up

[shayfeisty 27]

"Goal shaming". That's a new one.

I won't EVER apologize for busting my ass to get to goal to make you feel better.

**EDIT**

Okay, I know that sounded harsh. But why should someone apologize for getting to goal and saying they did XYZ to get there? I totally agree that we all need to do our own thing when it comes to WLS, but the principles are the same. And if followed 98% of the time, it should work to help get someone where they need to be and stay there. There's really no "winging it" with this. There's rules, and although rules are meant to be broken and will be,even by the so called "perfect" people,they are there for a reason. I don't think people should apologize for following the rules most of the time to make someone else who may not be feel better. Nowhere did I say any of us are perfect. Some people are just more strict than others about following the rules the majority of the time. And there is nothing wrong with that, either.

See we found one! Some stuck up b***h who wants to tell everyone how she followed the rules and she's at goal. The point of my post was to tell people like you that "goal shaming" isn't necessary. Wow a term you haven't heard of, it must not be a term then. Nobody said you shouldn't be proud of your weightloss, hell im proud of your weight loss but you saying you will not apologize for following the rules has nothing to do with you trying to tell others their rules. This is a site for information and support, if you have a negative outlook on those who are just beginning in their journey or you feel like you are superior because you're on the other side now, then you have no business being here. Enjoy your day, fortunately I don't let little leeches like you destroy mine, but others might so you should watch what you say and how you say it.

Edited July 19, 2015 by shayfeisty

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

Oh my....this thread is going to the left quick!

[lilijo 187]

I can offer a different perspective. I haven't been following the rules and I have gained about 13 lbs. I'm 19 months out and did very well for the first year. I don't think they're being mean spirited, just trying to help you. I wish I would have had someone in my face. I wish you all the best on your journey.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@shayfeisty

If you would stop being on the defensive and stop with the name calling, you would have understood the point I was trying to make.

Good luck with your weight loss journey, young lady. With your attitude, you're gonna need it.

[laguerr13 993]

I don't like the whole "Goal" thing we are all made differently for a reason, I started at 388 in January, GSV on June 10th and today am at 318 -320lbs, my doctor said my goal weight is to be 160lbs, I said my goal was 190-200lbs, I work out hardcore and love building muscle, I also have a cheat day once a month, people on here are great for the most part but on occasion I will see something that borders on ludicrous, I caught alot of slack for saying that I use milestones instead of the scale, but twice I have seen the same peeps that admonished me freak out over the dreaded "Stall" if I doing so bad then why and how have I lost over 70 lbs since January, and 9 waist sizes, and I've even managed to break my personal best at the gym twice this month, and guess what ? All I really care about is that my Apnea is almost gone, my blood pressure hovers around 125/78, I don't have diabetes, and I will be here longer for my family, oh yeah and I care about the Kayak my wife is getting me, yeah the Kayak , that's a biggie!!!!!!!! You are doing nothing wrong, and as long as you are trying and kicking, won't be!!!!!

Be about happy, and don't fall into the misery likes company thingy, unhappy people are never content, they take care of the weight but forget about the mind!!!!

[mtraverse 327]

Wow! Some harsh words here too! I would agree that some people who are looking for support get slammed at times. Also those that post are not all supportive in the way they go about it. Everyone needs to remember we are all on the same journey just taking different paths to get there and we will cross paths at times. In the end we all need support from those who have been there and a little less judgement at times would be great. It has kept me from posting a couple of things because I didn't want to get slammed for having sugar free sweets when I was craving them soooooo badly!

Just my thoughts!!!????

[LipstickLady 25,682]

See we found one! Some stuck up b***h who wants to tell everyone how she followed the rules and she's at goal. The point of my post was to tell people like you that "goal shaming" isn't necessary. Wow a term you haven't heard of, it must not be a term then. Nobody said you shouldn't be proud of your weightloss, hell im proud of your weight loss but you saying you will not apologize for following the rules has nothing to do with you trying to tell others their rules. This is a site for information and support, if you have a negative outlook on those who are just beginning in their journey or you feel like you are superior because you're on the other side now, then you have no business being here. Enjoy your day, fortunately I don't let little leeches like you destroy mine, but others might so you should watch what you say and how you say it.

@@shayfeisty

As a host of this forum, I am going to ask you to reread the rules regarding posting on this forum. Name calling will NOT be tolerated. Disagreement and discussion is great, personal attacks are not.

The rules can be found here:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/index.php?app=forums&module=extras&section=boardrules

[LipstickLady 25,682]

As a WLS patient who is just two years out and has been at goal for over a year, I will say that I followed my diet 95% of the time. Yes, I did have "cheat" foods from time to time (although I hate the word cheat, I made CHOICES that my doctor may not have agreed with), but I tracked, weighed, measured and was very honest with myself throughout my journey. That doesn't make me a "shamer" (such a ridiculous tumblr word trend), that makes me determined to utilize my tool in the very best way I can.

If someone comes to this board and whines about "slow loss", regain or stalls, I am going to give them my straightforward opinion ESPECIALLY if they are eating crap and justifying it. If, on the other hand, one chooses to "cheat" and stray from their eating plan but accepts the consequences of their behavior, more power to them!

You're a big girl. Do what you want. It's your body, it's your journey. Good luck to you. I can't wait to hear how well you do.

[Babbs 14,681]

As a WLS patient who is just two years out and has been at goal for over a year, I will say that I followed my diet 95% of the time. Yes, I did have "cheat" foods from time to time (although I hate the word cheat, I made CHOICES that my doctor may not have agreed with), but I tracked, weighed, measured and was very honest with myself throughout my journey. That doesn't make me a "shamer" (such a ridiculous tumblr word trend), that makes me determined to utilize my tool in the very best way I can.

If someone comes to this board and whines about "slow loss", regain or stalls, I am going to give them my straightforward opinion ESPECIALLY if they are eating crap and justifying it. If, on the other hand, one chooses to "cheat" and stray from their eating plan but accepts the consequences of their behavior, more power to them!

You're a big girl. Do what you want. It's your body, it's your journey. Good luck to you. I can't wait to hear how well you do.

Exactly. I'm not so elequent in my responses sometimes

[LipstickLady 25,682]

As a WLS patient who is just two years out and has been at goal for over a year, I will say that I followed my diet 95% of the time. Yes, I did have "cheat" foods from time to time (although I hate the word cheat, I made CHOICES that my doctor may not have agreed with), but I tracked, weighed, measured and was very honest with myself throughout my journey. That doesn't make me a "shamer" (such a ridiculous tumblr word trend), that makes me determined to utilize my tool in the very best way I can.

If someone comes to this board and whines about "slow loss", regain or stalls, I am going to give them my straightforward opinion ESPECIALLY if they are eating crap and justifying it. If, on the other hand, one chooses to "cheat" and stray from their eating plan but accepts the consequences of their behavior, more power to them!

You're a big girl. Do what you want. It's your body, it's your journey. Good luck to you. I can't wait to hear how well you do.

Exactly. I'm not so elequent in my responses sometimes

Oh, girl. I'm the board meanie, remember?

[laguerr13 993]

Everyone here looks gorgeous, is that name calling??? And Babbs is a sweetheart and a hottie!!!!! I think that because there is always stress involved some peeps forget and start to vent, I would like to think that an apology can be offered after the fact, and I appreciate certain members on here because we agree to disagree with out pointing fingers........

I wouldn't have come this far and smoothly without this forum, I think it is one of the better ones......

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Everyone here looks gorgeous, is that name calling??? And Babbs is a sweetheart and a hottie!!!!! I think that because there is always stress involved some peeps forget and start to vent, I would like to think that an apology can be offered after the fact, and I appreciate certain members on here because we agree to disagree with out pointing fingers........

I wouldn't have come this far and smoothly without this forum, I think it is one of the better ones......

Babbs is a hottie for sure!

That said, venting is OK. Disagreeing/debating/arguing/getting pissy is OK. Calling someone names and attacking them because you don't like the words they say is NOT. I don't care how HANGRY, frustrated, mad, irritated, upset you are, it's not acceptable and it will not be tolerated.

[shayfeisty 27]

Delete the damn post then. Jesus Christ you seem to have to same outlook as the ones I was talking about. It's either your way or the high way. Just quit already.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Delete the damn post then. Jesus Christ you seem to have to same outlook as the ones I was talking about. It's either your way or the high way. Just quit already.

Wait, whuuuuut?

I simply shared my experience and whole heartedly support yours, whatever road you choose to travel. I don't care if you track/measure/exercise or if you eat cheetos/ice cream/sit on the couch all day.

As long as YOU are happy with your decisions and the results, MORE POWER TO YOU!!

I'm sure you know what's best for you. I am only an expert on me.

[jess9395 5,449]

"Goal shaming". That's a new one.

I won't EVER apologize for busting my ass to get to goal to make you feel better.

**EDIT**

Okay, I know that sounded harsh. But why should someone apologize for getting to goal and saying they did XYZ to get there? I totally agree that we all need to do our own thing when it comes to WLS, but the principles are the same. And if followed 98% of the time, it should work to help get someone where they need to be and stay there. There's really no "winging it" with this. There's rules, and although rules are meant to be broken and will be,even by the so called "perfect" people,they are there for a reason. I don't think people should apologize for following the rules most of the time to make someone else who may not be feel better. Nowhere did I say any of us are perfect. Some people are just more strict than others about following the rules the majority of the time. And there is nothing wrong with that, either.

See we found one! Some stuck up b***h who wants to tell everyone how she followed the rules and she's at goal. The point of my post was to tell people like you that "goal shaming" isn't necessary. Wow a term you haven't heard of, it must not be a term then. Nobody said you shouldn't be proud of your weightloss, hell im proud of your weight loss but you saying you will not apologize for following the rules has nothing to do with you trying to tell others their rules. This is a site for information and support, if you have a negative outlook on those who are just beginning in their journey or you feel like you are superior because you're on the other side now, then you have no business being here. Enjoy your day, fortunately I don't let little leeches like you destroy mine, but others might so you should watch what you say and how you say it.

You have valid points but here is where you lost me....

Please take your own advice and watch what you say and how you say it. No need to call anyone a stuck up B or a leech and as was pointed out its against the terms of service.

You only take away from your own credibility when you do that. You will alienate people and they won't hear your important message.