My first appt is tomorrow!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

I'm so excited! My first official appt is tomorrow! I have a meeting with the NUT and then my surgeon to discuss our plan of attack. I'm excited and kinda nervous. I keep wondering what if I don't really need the 6 months of supervised diet. What if they put me on the 90 day fast track, will I emotionally be ready by then or will I need to slow the process down to mentally cope. I guess we'll wait and see what tomorrow brings! I also get to find out how much of a lying sack of crap my scale is tomorrow and I'm afraid it'll be worse than I even know. That scares me more than all the other stuff put together!

[The Candidate 3,215]

I'm on a first name basis with those nervous/excited butterflies. You go from elation to apprehension within the same minute sometimes. It's so normal, it's beyond normal.

As far as being emotionally ready that a question only you can answer. It's okay if you aren't sure right now, as long as you're sure when it's crunch time. You're going to do fine.

[Sajijoma 1,324]

It's not so much that I worry about not being emotionally ready for the surgery itself, but emotionally ready to kiss my kids goodbye and drive to the hospital. I can count the times I've left them on one hand. Even when I've had their siblings, they stayed with me as long as possible in hospital and I'd fall apart when they left to go home at night. I hate being away from them. At least I know they can visit me after the operation, but I'm sure I'll think of everything that could go wrong a thousand times once I know how long it will be. With 6 months I can tell myself "we've got plenty of time to think about that later" at least for the first 4 months, if it's 90 days I'm certain I'll think about it from the moment I hit the elevator to leave forward.