What should I do - if anything?

[wifie 0]

my husband was banded 2 years ago. For the last year, he has been at 0 fills and has gained weight. He says he wants to try losing weight the "regular" way, but he still eats bad, doesn't exercise and drinks. I thought he was motivated when he got the surgery, but that zeal is now gone. I don't want to be the nagging wife - but I don't see a light at the end of:phanvan this tunnel.

[cyndilou29 0]

It is very difficult to motivate someone els. I know how frustrating this must be for you but you have to remember that this is his body and his issue. You can tell him that you are concerned for his health and if he would like your help, you are there to help him get there. Then don't mention it again or you will be the nagging wife and it won't help him get there.

Please don't take this the wrong way but this is his journey, not yours, and he has to make these decisions alone. If he chooses to get healthy he will. If he chooses not to, there is nothing you can do about it.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you are able to make peace with his decisions.

[CCBSTX 0]

I agree with the other poster! It is hard work to lose weight, no matter which way you do it! When he is ready, then he can begin meeting w/his surgeon, attend a support group and get fills. That is the great thing about the band.

Let him come to his own conclusions. If someone nagged me, I'd eat another donut just to spite them!

Good luck. Shawn

[kland 0]

It is hard to motivate someone else, but I still think I would have to kick his butt! I'd tell him to stop jackin' around and go get a damn fill!

[nursinggal 1]

I think I can understand. I am the overweight one with the band for over 2 years now. I live with a husband who nags me, picks on me and stays on my case all of the time. It is not helpful to me AT ALL. In fact, it pushes me away from him and then I want to turn to what makes me feel good and that is .... food...

I personally respond better when I have positive and encouraging support. Also, knowing that he loves me regardless of my size helps me. That is just how I feel about it.

I am very aware that I have a weight probllem and that it affects my health. It is definitely MY JOURNEY... I don't require anyone to tell me this.

I hope this helps. Maybe you can see it from a point of view from the other side.

Good LUck!

[juliegeraci 7]

I would take your husband aside and tell him how much you are worried about him. Would he let you attend a meeting with his surgeon? He will never lose the weight on his own. That is why he was banded. Basically the band is not working right now because he doesn't have restriction. I would plead with him to get help.

[Jachut 487]

I would suspect that he doesnt want to lose weight the regular way at all, he just doesnt want to think about it. Perhaps just for now. He has the band in there, when he does become motivated it will be waiting for him. But it does have to be filled to work.

In short, I dont think you CAN motivate anyone else. Its up to him alone. Its a hard thing to live with someone who's doing something to themselves that worries you. I dont think nagging, pleading or worrying is the answer, he has to do it becuase he wants to.