Deciding to keep my sleeve quiet....

[Nikki Monroe 71]

So I have made the decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery. I also have decided to be very selective on who I share my journey with. A couple of reasons why I decided to keep my sleeve somewhat secret is mainly because I don't want to deal with other peoples opinions on what I have decided to do with my life during the most emotional time in my life. Some people think that losing weight is as easy as just pushing away from the table and have no idea what it means it means to live a life being overweight and unhappy. I'm not saying that I will never tell anyone what I have done to lose such a massive amount of weight in a short period of time. I am just saying that I want to decide when I want to tell people or share my story when I feel that I am emotionally ready and strong enough to do so. People will judge you no matter what you decide to do in your life. That is a true statement. I just choose to have more control over the negativity that I may be subjected to because of people's lack of understanding. I am not ashamed of my decision and I am only doing this because I feel is best for me and my future. I am already a sensitive person by nature and I feel that after surgery, knowing that my hormones will be all over the place, is a time I want to deal with me and my feelings and whatever buyers remorse I may be feeling at that moment without others people input. I may get to a point to where I do want to share my story and perhaps help someone else, but at this point my focus is on making sure that I am healthy physically and mentally. Please share your thoughts with me.

Edited July 15, 2015 by Nikki Monroe

[Smye 694]

I can't say I blame you Nikki... I made a very similar choice (despite my blog), but I was fortunate enough to have my wife and 2 VERY close friends on board. I absolutely recommend letting at least 1 person you trust know pre-op for support, but beyond that, do your thing...

[evett 44]

I only told one person, and that person told one person. So best way to keep it a secret is not to tell anyone.

[CaPoppy 22]

I have been very selective in who I've told as well. I just don't think it is anyone's business. The only people in my life that know are my mom and two friends, and one of those friends I've only told because she underwent the same procedure with the same doctor a month prior to me. So it has been helpful to be able to compare with her.

If anyone asks me I just tell them that I've been eating healthy, which is true. If anyone ever comes out and specifically asks if I had surgery I won't lie, but I'm not volunteering that information.

It's totally up to each person who they tell. Some people are happy with telling everyone they know and having a huge support, while there are those of us who would rather be more private and don't necessarily need all their Facebook friends knowing every detail. I think this is why a lot of the vsg instagram accounts are pretty anonymous. They can get the support, without necessarily telling their friends and family.

[lizcan 77]

I have only told my immediate family and two work colleagues. I don't think it is anyone's business either. I know some people are curious and have asked me how I am losing weight. I just tell them healthy eating and exercise

[natnat919 165]

I did the same. I told only my 3 immediate family members and my 3 closest girlfriends. I was lucky that I had to get my gall bladder removed at the same time, so if anyone else found out I was in the hospital it was for Gall Bladder Removal. When people ask about my weight loss, I just say that I'm on a high Protein, low carb diet and eating 5 small meals a day.......exercising a ton. All of that is the truth, right?

It's your business, no one else's.

[bewell 222]

It was similar for me. Only my husband and my niece who took care of me the first week post-op knew about my surgery. 6 months later I've only added 4 people and of course my doctors.

I told one person I wish I could un-do. I keep thinking of what an old timer sleever told me, you can't undo who you tell so I'm very careful.

It's no ones business. It's personal. When someone asks me about my weight loss, I just say "ask me again in a year" and I'll let you know how it's going". No one has probed any further.

[Ms. Nunya 126]

I don't blame you one bit.

[onesleevedmamma 178]

I think everyone needs to do what works best for them! If that's your feelings on it, then that's the best thing for you! Congrats on your decision to change your life and its great you have selected the people you can trust to be on board with you during the process. Celebrate the successes!

Personally, I felt the same way. I was only telling immediate family. I am 5'7'' and started at 256lbs. After surgery and recovery (I'd say after the first month) I had a change of heart on telling my story. I decided I was viewing the surgery as shameful because I do have close family members who have very negative views on wls. However, as my confidence grew, I decided that their views are their issues. I cannot own them. I am EXCITED about the changes and progress. I am not ashamed to have had the surgery (I am also not saying you are. I understand you are different) It is not the easy road. I also only keep close friends who I trust near me or on social media and my profiles are public. Since I wasn't getting the type of support I needed from my family, I turned to Facebook and "came out of the closet" so to speak on surgery. It was a WONDERFUL response. Total support and encouragement. Other friends who have thought about surgery have privately messaged me for advice or my story as well. I am open about it with those I trust and sometimes with general people I see on a day to day basis (one, because I cannot deny the rapid change and two, because I'm proud of it)

It took many years to decide that being healthy physically, emotionally and any other way wasn't about anyone else. I am able to roll their comments off that I don't want and focus on staying true to the purpose of the surgery and life change. I only share this because while you are deciding this now, If I may suggest, keep an open mind about the decision. There are risks when telling someone... judgement, comments, etc. BUT there are also many more people who will support and encourage you as you go through the progress!!

In the mean time, stay on the boards They are a great support and we love helping each other!!!

[jallen1231 59]

I did the same. I will tell people on my terms when I'm ready. No ones business.

[Nikki Monroe 71]

I can't say I blame you Nikki... I made a very similar choice (despite my blog), but I was fortunate enough to have my wife and 2 VERY close friends on board. I absolutely recommend letting at least 1 person you trust know pre-op for support, but beyond that, do your thing...

thank you!

[Nikki Monroe 71]

I did the same. I told only my 3 immediate family members and my 3 closest girlfriends. I was lucky that I had to get my gall bladder removed at the same time, so if anyone else found out I was in the hospital it was for Gall Bladder Removal. When people ask about my weight loss, I just say that I'm on a high Protein, low carb diet and eating 5 small meals a day.......exercising a ton. All of that is the truth, right?

It's your business, no one else's.

That is my plan as of now as well!

[Nikki Monroe 71]

I think everyone needs to do what works best for them! If that's your feelings on it, then that's the best thing for you! Congrats on your decision to change your life and its great you have selected the people you can trust to be on board with you during the process. Celebrate the successes!

Personally, I felt the same way. I was only telling immediate family. I am 5'7'' and started at 256lbs. After surgery and recovery (I'd say after the first month) I had a change of heart on telling my story. I decided I was viewing the surgery as shameful because I do have close family members who have very negative views on wls. However, as my confidence grew, I decided that their views are their issues. I cannot own them. I am EXCITED about the changes and progress. I am not ashamed to have had the surgery (I am also not saying you are. I understand you are different) It is not the easy road. I also only keep close friends who I trust near me or on social media and my profiles are public. Since I wasn't getting the type of support I needed from my family, I turned to Facebook and "came out of the closet" so to speak on surgery. It was a WONDERFUL response. Total support and encouragement. Other friends who have thought about surgery have privately messaged me for advice or my story as well. I am open about it with those I trust and sometimes with general people I see on a day to day basis (one, because I cannot deny the rapid change and two, because I'm proud of it)

It took many years to decide that being healthy physically, emotionally and any other way wasn't about anyone else. I am able to roll their comments off that I don't want and focus on staying true to the purpose of the surgery and life change. I only share this because while you are deciding this now, If I may suggest, keep an open mind about the decision. There are risks when telling someone... judgement, comments, etc. BUT there are also many more people who will support and encourage you as you go through the progress!!

In the mean time, stay on the boards They are a great support and we love helping each other!!!

Thank you so much for your feedback. I will definitely keep an open mind and probably will tell people when I feel I'm ready. My family/friend support is very small so I am definitely thinking about the negativity from others. I shouldn't but I am. I just kind of want to get a grip on my new life before I have to deal with anyone's unsolicited advice about my decision. I plan to DEFINITELY stay in this board. I have found it so helpful already!????

Edited July 15, 2015 by Nikki Monroe

[lmhelmick 79]

Same here.... only my immediate family and 2 close friends know. We have a small circle of friends that we see alot when school is in session so my loss will be a big shocker to many come august but I will worry with that then. I didn't want people judging and can stand to here "oooohhhh"

[onesleevedmamma 178]

It took many years to decide that being healthy physically, emotionally and any other way wasn't about anyone else. I am able to roll their comments off that I don't want and focus on staying true to the purpose of the surgery and life change. I only share this because while you are deciding this now, If I may suggest, keep an open mind about the decision. There are risks when telling someone... judgement, comments, etc. BUT there are also many more people who will support and encourage you as you go through the progress!!

In the mean time, stay on the boards They are a great support and we love helping each other!!!

Thank you so much for your feedback. I will definitely keep an open mind and probably will tell people when I feel I'm ready. My family/friend support is very small so I am definitely thinking about the negativity from others. I shouldn't but I am. I just kind of want to get a grip on my new life before I have to deal with anyone's unsolicited open about my decision. I plan to DEFINITELY stay in this board. I have found it so helpful already!????

Couldn't have said it better! Way to go keeping your priorities about your goals, needs and everything!