Need Suggestions for What to Tell People Who Ask If I've Had WLS

[SoCalLeslie 16]

Hi everyone - this might be premature, as I haven't had my surgery yet and will be off work 3-4 weeks, but I'm looking for advice on what to tell people (especially at work) who might ask if I've had weight loss surgery. I know the weight comes off fast after surgery and I am sure people will be suspicious, even though I've lost about 30 pounds on my own and a few people noticed. I just don't feel it's anyone's business to know I've had surgery, especially among people who like to gossip.

Any suggestions on how to respond? Or am I worrying for nothing? Would like to hear from some of you who had similar concerns. Thanks!

[Who Dat 70461 331]

Folks I haven't seen in a while always ask how I did it. If they seem genuinely interested, I tell them...you never know who might be considering surgery as an option and I will share my story in a heartbeat if I think it may help someone.

However, if the person asking is the judgmental type, I simply tell them I've been eating less and moving more...it's the truth!

Good luck!

[danaadoo 26]

I've notified my work about surgery, but they do not know what it is exactly. I agree with you, it's your business and if you don't want to share that information, you are not obligated to do so! I would just say that whatever routine you are working towards is working. I mean, it is!

[Kindle 8,667]

Everyone is different in what they want to share and with whom, but for me I just kept it simple. When someone asks how I lost weight I respond that I had surgery. What follows is usually a brief conversation about what kind of surgery (most people only know about bypass and lapband), my experience of having surgery in Mexico and a little about the kind of food I eat (high protein/low carb). They say congratulation, I say thanks and then we move on to more interesting subjects.

In the end I feel better about not having to hide anything and hundreds of people (literally) are a little better educated about obesity and WLS. Win-Win.

Edited July 15, 2015 by Kindle

[coopervane 7]

I have thought about this also. I have my first appointment with the surgeon Aug 4 so I don't have any experience. But, I think I am going to tell most people "hard work" and my close friends about the surgery. I don't feel that would be lying.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

If you don't want to tell anyone, then channel Miss Manners (aka, Judith Martin). She recommends "polite evasion" and/or "shocked astonishment." In your situation, I would go with "shocked astonishment."

When you are confronted with a question so horribly impolite you will find yourself at a temporary loss for words. You would say, "pardon me?" in an astonished tone, because the question is inappropriate. If they don't "get it" and repeat the question, you would continue to look shocked and say, "Well goodness, THAT is certainly a personal question" then turn and walk away.

[Jerry Currie 3]

Tell them you are having a Lipoma removed, not really a lie since a Lipoma is a fatty mass. I actually had one removed from my stomach 3 months before my sleeve so I just didn't change the story....it works fine.

[perfectlyimperfect44 46]

Good question, very good question, I have mentioned to my boss that I am plannig on having the surgery only because we work very close but I dont want it to go any further than that and I havent mentioned to him that I dont want anyone else to know because as you said it is my personal business. Currently I am the largest person in the office and this does nothing for my self esteem but I push on and Im so excited and so nervous about this new journey in my life I really dont want any distractions before my surgery.

[MissPam 20]

Since I knew I was going to have a hernia repair, this is the reason I gave for taking 2 weeks off. When I went back to work, I ended up telling close co-workers that I also had the gastric sleeve surgery in addition to having a hernia repair. So far, everyone at work has been great. And, to my surprise, when I told one of my co-workers she told me that she had the same surgery 3 years ago. She has been really supportive, so I'm glad that I told her.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I don't recommend outright lies in response to either direct questions such as "did you have surgery?" or indirect questions such as "you have lost so much weight, how have you done it?". If you aren't comfortable discussing details (understandable and nothing wrong with that) you should say so. Lying either by omission or comission may eventually be revealed, and would cause your co-workers (and supervisors) to distrust you and think less of you. From my perspective as a manager: if I found out that any of my employees lied to me about anything, I can't say I would fire them just for that, but it would make me suspicious of and hostile to them in the future. Now, I would never ask anyone in a work situation about anything personal -- health, weight, family life, religious beliefs, their past in general, political stance -- even what people like to read or watch on tv is off limits as far as I am concerned. So I hope there would never be any reason anyone would feel like they need to lie to me.

I've told just about everyone who has asked me about weight loss about my surgery, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Many people want to talk with me about it, either for themselves or someone they know. The one person who was instantly negative is an outright bitch anyway, and I really don't care what she thinks.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling response. To sum up: being open is good (but not necessary), telling or expressing that you don't want to talk about your personal health and medical decisions is fine -- it may be tough to do, but it is fine. Lying is dangerous and I don't recommend it.

[SoCalLeslie 16]

Thank you all! I definitely wouldn't want to lie about it, just wanted to be prepared. Your comments have helped.

[TXTinana 269]

I have thought about this as well as I am in preparations to have my surgery next month. My decisive moment came when someone close to me and considerably smaller than me told me earlier this year that they were not supportive of WLS and "why can't you lose it naturally?" I've had a battle losing and gaining and losing and gaining, as I'm sure most of you have had. I was really torn up about that for awhile. Turns out this person turned around and then had the surgery almost a month ago and has taken to lying, and doing so very aggressively, to others about having the surgery. It was in that moment that I felt insulted by this. WLS is nothing to be ashamed of in my honest opinion and I don't think it should be treated as such. It's a tool to become a healthier you. That being said I don't see me singing about it from the hilltops a la Sound of Music, BUT if a friend of mine or coworker questions me about it I will be honest. Those close to me, my boss who I'm close with, and a select few others around the office know already anyway. I don't want to insult others who may be questioning having WLS in order to take control of their health by making it seem like something to lie about and being ashamed of.

[byebyedarkpassenger 203]

I'm scheduled for surgery next month. My close friends and family know but I've shared with neighbors and colleagues that I'm spending the next year or so focusing on health, fitness and weight loss. I think someone might eventually ask if I've had surgery but for now my explanation of possible changes to come is all I'm really interested in sharing.

[Monnie815 64]

My response would be I took a long look at my life and decided that if I wanted to enjoy many more years that I had to make lots of changes...diet..exercises..personally mentally focusing on making better habits. ..not a lie but skirted around answer

[Omla 9]

My surgery is scheduled for next month. I don't want to tell anyone but have to say something to my boss. Any suggestions as to what type of surgery would be equivalent to the sleeve as far as recovery time and restrictions?