When your BFF doesn't support you...

[Ashley1213 40]

I'm getting sleeved on Thursday, 7/16!!

I told my best friend and confidant my news, and all I got was a "good luck..."

Some background...we are both big girls, around the same size, and both nurses. So, we have the same life experiences of being obese and how it affects our life.

I'm pretty downtrodden. I know it's about what I think is best for me, but it is upsetting that I don't have her approval.

Thoughts?

[meryl0707 16]

Congrats on your upcoming surgery! I believe you will find that some of your relationships will change. People will be jealous and negative. I would suggest going to support groups to connect with people who understand and to build new relationships. Sometimes when people do struggle in the same way, it's hard for them to be happy for others. Branch out and focus on you!

[atontor 1,068]

Jealousy is a factor. But you will need to do what's best for you and your life. After surgery you will find friends and family who will try to ruin and bring you down. All relationships will change.

[tiffanyt 38]

I know what you mean. One of my friends said, well, if that's what you want to do I will support you. Very nonchalant. Stick with people that are happy for you bettering your health!!

[Ashley1213 40]

Thank y'all for the support.

I really think she's not in a place where she wants to change...I've tried to diet and exercise with her a few times and she would never commit.

She says it's because there is no magic fix and we both know people who have had a band and have not been successful.

*sigh*

[scarletwitch19 302]

Unfortunately jealousy is a huge issue post surgery. I've come to find a colleague at work to make snide comments to make me feel bad, even though she was considering surgery herself. And my best friend was very supportive the week of surgery, but hasn't said much anything to me in the past 6 weeks. It's disappointing and unfortunate. I really thought that friends/family/colleagues who also struggle with weightloss would be the most understanding and supportive, but I'm finding the opposite. Hang in there, don't forget that everyone on this site knows what a huge decision this is and is very happy you're joining the wls family.

[meryl0707 16]

Well if anyone has any kind of bariatric surgery and they do not change their habits, you won't be successful. I think everyone knows someone who hasn't been successful. Don't let her cop out deter you from your goals. Everyone has an opinion about this surgery. I've had people question me and chastise me for doing it. I figure it's my life and I'm doing what I need to do to make it better.

[atontor 1,068]

So true. Do what's best for you.

[reree6898 1,164]

I can relate, my sister who is my best friend in the world is not super supportive of me either. We have both been big our whole lives and we have each tried to lose weight on our own. When I made the decision to do this the first thing she did was tell me about someone she knew who had complications. Thankfully my husband and kids are supportive, but I really wanted her to be supportive too.

[Ashley1213 40]

I can relate, my sister who is my best friend in the world is not super supportive of me either. We have both been big our whole lives and we have each tried to lose weight on our own. When I made the decision to do this the first thing she did was tell me about someone she knew who had complications. Thankfully my husband and kids are supportive, but I really wanted her to be supportive too.

Yes!!

[sleeve4086222015 27]

Maybe your bff needs time to process your decision. Your relationship WILL change, but not necessarily for the worse. Who wants or likes change. We are usually forced into change, right? Since you are both nurses, she also sees the "possible" complications, pitfalls, and pain that these types of surgeries entail. Don't write her off. She is your bff!

[Floey84 31]

Omg I can totally relate my hubby does not support that I have decided to get the sleeve which sucks because he supports me in everything. The fact that he doesn't is stressing me out and causing me to have so much anxiety.