Boyfriend's mom doubts my potential success.

[jane13 2,256]

@@Inner Surfer Girl - "bless her heart"..... as a southern girl, I get it, maybe everyone else doesn't.... but I do

ROTFLMAO!

[navymom1 26]

I have to disagree with some posters who say "prove her wrong". You are never going to do that no matter what you do. She will always find something wrong with you. She has already decided that you (or anyone probably) are not fit for her son. Move on sounds easy, it is not. She is his mother. But do what you have to do for you, be polite, courteous and keep your distance as much as you can. I would not confide another thing to her. Keep your chin up and do what is best for YOU!

You ARE what matters. Best of luck and success to you.

[TakeitorSleeveit 124]

I've only been here for a few weeks, but I love SurferGirl.....ADORE! LOL

And for the original poster, hang in there. I know it's hard not to let people like your boyfriend's mom get under your skin, but you need to focus on you and why you're doing this. And I hope you aren't doing it for her. I doubt you are. So, just use this as a little extra motivation and move on from her.

I would also ask your boyfriend to refrain from sharing her negative predictions with you in the future. )

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Everyone else is taking the high road. I'm going to take the low road! (I know, some of you are going to be SOOOOO surprised!)

"How much have you lost" Response: Actually, I've gained 10 pounds.

"You need to be careful" Response: You're absolutely right. I should remember your advice more often. I'm so glad I have you to help me!

"So many people gain back the weight" Response: Yes, they do. And I'll probably be one of those people!

"You have such a pretty face" Response: Oh gosh THANKS! And you know, you have such a pretty... ummm... ahhhh.... ummmm... EARLOBE!

Most people who say nasty things don't know what to say when you agree with them.

[muzical1 85]

She is clearly not a nice person. But I'm concerned that her son is a "momma's boy" who didn't defend you or support you with her. In the long run that would be a huge red flag. As you slim down and reach your goals, I hope you will meet a man who will honor, love, respect, and defend you, and whose family will do the same. Life is too short to have it any other way.

[lmhelmick 79]

If u love him and he loves u (big or small) that's all that matters. Her opinion isn't worth a dime. And u don't need her approval. My MIL isn't the most supportive either, but my husband is the best and neither of us care what she thinks. I wasn't even going to tell her but the hubby let it slip. Focus on yourself, and building your new relationship with your bf. Your relationship is going to change because of your surgery, so that's what u need to focus on. None of her negativity good luck

[LisaPunkinHead 187]

@@Inner Surfer Girl - "bless her heart"..... as a southern girl, I get it, maybe everyone else doesn't.... but I do

ROTFLMAO!

HA!! I'm not even a Southern Girl, but I get it!! And I say the same thing!!!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I've only been here for a few weeks, but I love SurferGirl.....ADORE! LOL

...

)

Aw, thanks. I'm blushing.

[scarletwitch19 302]

What an ignorant woman. Just think how great it will feel when you look awesome!!! I feel your pain though. My bf told his mom and grandma about my wls and while they were supportive and I do think they mean well. Based on some of the questions I'm asked I get the impression they think I need this to force myself from not stuffing my face! What's with the world thinking being overweight means you eat 10 big mac's a day!?!?!?! Yes, I needed this to help me lose weight, but being heavy doesn't mean I can't control myself and stuff my face 24/7

[meowmers 16]

@@muzical1 he is a huge mommas boy, has dinner at her house 4x a week. I'm never invited. Would "stress her out too much". He says he defends me but I know he wouldn't cross her.

[muzical1 85]

@@muzical1 he is a huge mommas boy, has dinner at her house 4x a week. I'm never invited. Would "stress her out too much". He says he defends me but I know he wouldn't cross her.

Wow...that's not a nice thing. I'm sorry, he just doesn't sound like he's ready for a serious commitment. Now that you know, act accordingly. In time, he will be replaced I'm sure.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Yeah, no.

This ain't gonna work out.

At least, I hope for your sake it doesn't.

Sheesh!

[skinnyrita 188]

Is it just my imagination or is this a repost from several days ago?

[meowmers 16]

@@muzical1 he is a huge mommas boy, has dinner at her house 4x a week. I'm never invited. Would "stress her out too much". He says he defends me but I know he wouldn't cross her.

Wow...that's not a nice thing. I'm sorry, he just doesn't sound like he's ready for a serious commitment. Now that you know, act accordingly. In time, he will be replaced I'm sure.

One day at a time. Today I love him. I am not really ready to move in or get married yet anyway, so maybe we will sync up in the future. We will see.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I was sleeved one month ago. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. Him and I are very different, and our families are very different. My family is very inclusive (Come on over for dinner! Invite him to Christmas! Bring him on vacation!), while his family rarely invites me to things, and shows little to no interest in getting to know me. This has been a problem in our relationship, but I really do love him.

Ever since I told his mother in December that I was going through the motions to get WLS, I have received a barage of "How much have you lost", "You need to be careful", "So many people gain back the weight", "You have such a pretty face" and tons of other know-it-all comments. At first I brushed this off as motherly concern, but my boyfriend recently let me know that she has expressed in private that she is concerned I can't control myself and WILL gain back my weight. She wants my boyfriend to watch out for that. He defended me but trust me this woman is stubborn.

This hurts so me much because I've only met this woman 4-5 times. I've tried to explain my journey, newfound motivation, and focus to her - but even after making this drastic lifestyle change to lose weight, I can't help but feel she is still judging me as a stereotypical obese person with no self control. I had surgery a month ago, what does this lady expect from me already? Sheesh.

I am pretty open about my surgery to anyone who wants to know about it - I have nothing to hide... but crap like this is making me wish I told nobody. It is a double edged sword - because once people know, they are expecting change.

Any advice?

TL;DR: Boyfriends mom never liked me because I was too fat for her son, now post-op, she still is afraid I will be too fat for her son.

It is not your job to make this woman like you. Stop worrying about things you cannot control and live your life.

Trust me when I say once you stop caring what other people think of you and do what makes YOU happy life will be a lot easier. Don't justify or explain yourself to her because you owe her NOTHING.

@@muzical1 he is a huge mommas boy, has dinner at her house 4x a week. I'm never invited. Would "stress her out too much". He says he defends me but I know he wouldn't cross her.

Girl a man who won't stand up for you is NOT the man for you.