food related feelings of loss

[azsqwurl 21]

Has anyone experienced depression or feelings of loss after surgery for the foods that you can not or should not eat anymore? If so, can you elaborate a little about it? Duration...... Intensity.....

Thanks!

[dhrguru 1,238]

Has anyone experienced depression or feelings of loss after surgery for the foods that you can not or should not eat anymore? If so, can you elaborate a little about it? Duration...... Intensity.....

Thanks!

So yesterday we did a family day at the beach/boardwalk. What I struggled with is not being part off the whole'boardwalk experience', eating ice cream, taffy, pizza, hot dogs etc. Its odd because i hate taffy, and was never a big ice cream fan. But being in that environment I just felt like I couldn't be part of the crowd. I felt like I was a 'burden' to my family because I was the outlier who they needed to make sure the menu offered something for me.

It was a lot at play mentally for me. I'm not depressed about it, I only felt that way in that moment. And for how long it lasted, again, for as long as I was on the boardwalk. Once we were gone, it's not an issue.

I'll say the other thing that I was keenly aware of was how many obese people I saw. It made me thankful for where I am now and at peace with the work that it's taking.

[diva83 9]

I am 7 years post op and still have struggles with this even now. You have to get to the root of your relationship with food, which is usually an underlying issue that is not food related so you know how to keep in check with your mood, feelings, attitude, and choices around food. I knew I could not do this alone so I a check in about once a month or more if I need it with the barbaric counselor where I had my surgery done. There I am able to air where I am struggling with food and we are able to discuss tools for my continued success.

[SkinnyDown 409]

I did almost a year of therapy pre-op to deal with food addiction issues, and dug deep to figure out why I got fat. I had to go back very far, since I've been big since I was about 5 years old.

If you can, I suggest therapy. It's really the key to finding out why all the eating happened in the first place.

As diva83 said: "You have to get to the root of your relationship with food, which is usually an underlying issue that is not food related "

I couldn't agree more!

To specifically answer your question, honestly...I don't experience hunger like I did pre-surgery. I have to remind myself to eat. I don't have any real cravings either. It's an odd sensation, just not feeling hungry, or having to force yourself to eat. As far as missing out...every time I step on my scale and it shows me a lower number, and every time I can go into my closet and wear something comfortably I haven't in years, or every time I finish my exercising and pushed myself a little bit further, I lose even more interest in what I used to crave so badly. My tastes have changed, I can't handle sugary tasting things, the stuff I loved after sweets most, are meats, and cheese, I can still have those, and the other carby things I used to like, I don't have room for after I get my Protein and veggies in.

I hope this has helped.

I wish you luck!

Edited July 11, 2015 by carolm1965

[ready2B 263]

I felt that sense of loss at about a month out. It didn't last long, only a few days for me. I just kept reminding myself of all the reasons why I am doing this. I also realized I never had a real "relationship with food". food is inanimate, and impossible to have a relationship with - you have relationships with PEOPLE! food is for fuel mainly. Yes, it is also for enjoyment, but there are so many things in life to enjoy that food plays such a minor role. Even more of a minor role now that I have the ability to enjoy so much more.

As it turned out, after about 3 months, there really wasn't anything I couldn't tolerate and have in moderation. So for me, I don't believe there are foods I "can't ever have again" - just foods I might choose not to eat or just take one small bite of because I value my health and new life more now than I value the momentary pleasure those foods gave me.

[azsqwurl 21]

I felt that sense of loss at about a month out. It didn't last long, only a few days for me. I just kept reminding myself of all the reasons why I am doing this. I also realized I never had a real "relationship with food". food is inanimate, and impossible to have a relationship with - you have relationships with PEOPLE! food is for fuel mainly. Yes, it is also for enjoyment, but there are so many things in life to enjoy that food plays such a minor role. Even more of a minor role now that I have the ability to enjoy so much more.

As it turned out, after about 3 months, there really wasn't anything I couldn't tolerate and have in moderation. So for me, I don't believe there are foods I "can't ever have again" - just foods I might choose not to eat or just take one small bite of because I value my health and new life more now than I value the momentary pleasure those foods gave me.

I love the perspective on this! I think this is how I will be, but I won't know until I am there.

[bewell 222]

I had a terrible time with the loss of my favorite pastime eating, and yes I even missed the following wallowing in self-hate. After the sleeve I even planned and binged on my first broccoli and in retrospect that is hilarious. I vomited up the green mess with vengence just like Rosemary's baby devil!!

Missing the joy of some foods and over eating does go away and for me it took about 2 months. I also had to have therapy. I was terrified of being a smaller size and not able to defend myself. Lots of crazy emotions that 1st 2 months post-op. (turned out to be sexual abuse at a young age and somehow I concluded if I was fat no one would hurt me. I expect it worked when I was 8 yrs which I continued for a lifetime.)

My therapist suggested a "funeral" of sorts to let go of the loss of eating. I wrote about it, had a one person "ceremony" about how being obese had been my protection but I didn't need it any longer. I didn't need to be afraid of being a smaller size and looked to future of a healthy, active life. It really helped me.

Today I don't miss the eating of food (except occasionally and that is totally HEAD-crap.) Feeling good and being able to move around and enjoy life is so much better than the self-imposed hell I was in pre-sleeve.

[bewell 222]

Oh and today one beautiful ripe blueberry or perfectly cooked vegetable can almost be orgasmic. (can I say that here?)

[drmeow 323]

. I also had to have therapy. I was terrified of being a smaller size and not able to defend myself. Lots of crazy emotions that 1st 2 months post-op. (turned out to be sexual abuse at a young age and somehow I concluded if I was fat no one would hurt me. I expect it worked when I was 8 yrs which I continued for a lifetime.)

My therapist suggested a "funeral" of sorts to let go of the loss of eating. I wrote about it, had a one person "ceremony" about how being obese had been my protection but I didn't need it any longer. I didn't need to be afraid of being a smaller size and looked to future of a healthy, active life. It really helped me.

Thank you for posting this. I, too, was abused at a young age and that may have been the beginning of my problems, too. Also had an emotionally absent dad and married an emotionally absent husband, which really packed on the pounds. I have been in therapy almost 3 years now to deal with that. I know I will still need to deal with it more after surgery, as food is still my go-to for stress or anger relief.

I'd be surprised if anyone didn't have some feelings of loss and depression after surgery. Also, I've read that rapid weight loss causes dumping of hormones into the blood stream quickly, which can cause mood swings and depression.

p.s. I meant to say thanks for sharing the idea of the "funeral" as well - I need to do this.

Edited July 11, 2015 by drmeow

[Cdominguez 26]

I read somewhere that you can not eat salad after surgery is that true?

[jasminebsn3 119]

I eat a salad almost everyday. I haven't heard of anyone having problems with eating a salad but everyone is different.

[glitter eyes 1,398]

I didn't experience a lot of feelings regarding the loss of food. However, last summer I was four weeks post op and went on a family vacation. I was still getting used to eating with my new sleeve and sticking to my plan very strictly. My family (all who are thin) eat like a pack of wild hogs on vacation. I was doing ok being around all the junk food until one night at dinner I burst into tears because I really wanted rice like everyone else was eating. Looking back it seems kind of silly, but at the time I felt really sad about that stupid rice.

This summer I just got back from our yearly family trip and since I am in maintenance I ate whatever I wanted to. My sleeve tolerates most foods. I did gain a few pounds, but got right back on track when I got home and lost the weight within three days.

I did have to learn to find joy in other things rather than food. I used to get excited on the weekends because we would eat out a lot and have junk food. My family still does that, I just choose healthier options at restaurants and limit my treats at home. I get my joy these days from exercise, hiking, kayaking, camping... All the things that I didn't do when I was overweight.

I think it helps to find other hobbies to turn to instead of food.

[teitei636 54]

This was a great post as I just went through this yesterday and sharing with my husband how I had finally had my "break-up" moment with food. I'm only 2 weeks and a few days post op, but it hit when I was out with my children, and have not been able to order from any of my favorite places, but felt good about it.

It's definitely a mental game. If you get your thoughts in the right place, it helps. I told my mom yesterday that food is now what it was meant for, substance just to live, not my best friend and closest confidant.

[gowalking 10,790]

I suspect like many of us, as the weight drops and you find a better quality of life, the loss of the favorite foods, or the loss of eating to excess will fade. As it says in my signature, being normal sized, and being able to do all the things I couldn't before, beats whatever is on my plate or on the menu.

I also can eat anything so for me, it's all about choosing wisely and watching my portions. Even more than two years post-op, I can overeat if I'm not paying attention. So, I take the portion I know is band friendly or I divide up my meal into the correct portion and then I can forget about it and just eat what I've set aside and no more. If I have one of those days where I'm wanting to eat more than I should, I remind myself where I was versus where I am now as far as quality of my life and that's usually all it takes.

[India928 81]

This is my biggest and worst fear! I am scheduled for surgery in September and I don't know how I will cope with daily should never have been) an option., What do you do in the "moment" to cope?

Great topic.