Who's Judging Who?

[Dave_2.0 22]

So a couple weeks ago I told my adult kids my decision to have surgery. Today I told the rest of my family. Brothers, Sisters, Stepfather, Uncle, and Aunt as well as a couple very close friends. To be honest I was expecting a lot of judgement. So far is has been nothing but support even from those that I was sure would judge me. I have the full support from everyone that means anything to me. I’m so grateful that I won’t have to hide this from the ones that count.

I was so afraid of them judging me that I didn't realize that I was judging them. Now I find myself asking "How long have I been judging them?" Perhaps many of the bad feelings I've felt towards some members of my family were ill conceived. I think if's fair to say that most of us "Fatties" feel that we are constantly judged and scrutinized by the "Normies". And I still believe that it's true but probably not to the extent that I thought. Is it possible that most folks are too busy in their normal day to day lives that when they see a "Fatty" they don't think twice? That they have more important things to think about than me? Why do I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me all the time?

So I ask you .... Who's judging who and who are you judging?

[lauraellen80 855]

I agree that we sometimes project our own insecurities onto other people. I was worried about telling a group of our friends, most of whom are marathon runners. I always feel "less than" around them because they are so freakin' skinny and actually love kale, and I figured that they would all be like, "No, no... all you need to do is start running! Here, sign up for this ultramarathon!! That's what you need to lose weight!!!" Seriously, they are like pod people about running. But they were all very supportive and positive about my surgery and didn't try to offer any well-meaning but ridiculous advice!

[NewMeLinZ 66]

This post made me smile. My family was SUPER supportive as well! Best of luck on your journey!

[onesleevedmamma 178]

So true! I really was afraid to share my decision and progress because I didnt want the negative comments. When I decided that I wasnt ashamed and could handle the comments, I shared it freely with others. I had a GREAT response from friends and most family. There were some negative comments, but they were more concerns than putting me down. They worried about gaining the weight back, or surgery complications. After those fears subsided, they were very supportive.

I love sharing my journey and helping others who have questions or need support! I feel closer to friends and family than I ever have. It was definitely me judging them more than the opposite

[peaceout 273]

I had a very similar thing happen to me. My surgery got moved up by 6 weeks, and it just so happened that the week of my pre-op diet, I was on vacation with my entire extended family. I hadn't planned on telling anyone about the surgery but I got really sick of trying to explain why I was passing up all the home-cooked food for Protein shakes.

So I didn't even make it an entire day before I just blurted out what I was doing. Everyone was so supportive, and the one aunt that was a bit condescending (there's always one, right?) was immediately put in her place by others. It was pretty cool, actually; I really thought I was going to be judged. So maybe the judgemental one is me! Interesting to think about.

[AngelaWilliamsMD 290]

I think you all are very fortunate!