You know your a bandster when.....

[Ginavit 1]

* I have a date does not mean your going out.

*You have baby food in the house and no baby.

* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.

* All of your silverware says Gerber.

* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.

* New clothes fall off in a month.

* You get excited about hand me downs.

* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says, "One at a time please".

* Getting wrinkles is a good thing.

* "Just Water for me please".

* Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.

* You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy.

* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.

* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.

* Other women are calling you "bitch" behind your back.

* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't belong there".

* When you really don't have a thing to wear.

* You have to prove you are the person on the driver’s license.

* You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.

* You want to hug everyone fat and hand him or her your surgeon’s card.

* You are never parted from a bottle of water

* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.

* Being too small for your britches.

* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.

* When you got to the mall a take the first available space instead of circling 20 min. for one closer

* You truly are a "cheap date".

* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!

* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.

* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.

* Vitamins feel like a meal.

* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.

* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair? "

* You can cross your legs... both of them

* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra

* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.

* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.

* No more Velcro shoes

* "Checking for leaks" no longer includes your panties

* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables

* Your mother says, "You don't eat enough"

* Having sex your husband complains that your hipbones are poking him.

* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire

* When you wave and your upper arms wave back

* You safety pin your underwear

* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress

* Cannot blame the cat for shedding

* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card

* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god. Did he die??

Thought some of you could use a laugh!!

[Iluvharleys 15]

That's a great one! ROFLMAO

[vtobon 0]

Great way to see things and a good laugh at the same time!

[Debra 0]

A Pony-tail Holder??!! Ha! Such things I have to look forward to! Thanks for the laugh!

[Zoe 6]

Great post, Gina! I'm not sure I'm headed for that pony-tail holder, but it sure is an image to ponder.

[momoffour 2]

What a wonderfully funny post!! Thanks for the laugh!

[live2canoe 1]

Too Funny!

You are very very witty!!

I think you've covered them all - I can't think of a thing to add.

[Marimaru 7]

* You want to hug everyone fat and hand him or her your surgeon’s card.

Totally there. This is great stuff.

[LisaMG 5]

I love it! Thats cute! I LOL on some of them! I love a good laugh....

ps

ESP laughed at the one about other women calling you B***H behind your back. This is happening to me already!! I thought it was my attitude but now I know they're getting jealous OF ME! This is rich!

[Ginavit 1]

Hello Kim,

I found this on another WL Site! It made me laugh so I thought I would share it will all of you. I am witty but I have to confess that this was not my work! Have a great day

everyone. Gina

[New Hope 37]

These are great! Can't wait until I have to prove I'm the person on my driver's license!

[blossom 2]

LOL!!! Somebody get me some ponytail holders!

[nightingale2u 42]

Halarious... twas good to start my day with a belly laugh!

Darcy

[LisaMG 5]

Ouch! Ouch! Y'all have got to quit with the pony tail holders jokes! I get this achy sensation thats runs right through my chest everytime! Ouch!