1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

[Disabledaccount 154]

@@MichiganChic Thanks for the feedback. Yup going back to my Stage III diet plan and going to see the nutritionist and tweak my eating which is all I can do at this point. I'm done stressing about goals as apparently my expectations were too high. I've gotten it out, said my piece and am going focus more high Protein and make the necessary adjustments, where the scales lands is where it lands. I'm done agonizing over this.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I didn't read all the replies yet and am short on time... so I don't mean to be terse, just want to share perspective.

I was high BMI - 52 to start. I am post menopausal and was a failed lapband patient. Somehow, I managed to get to goal with the sleeve. I am 3.5 years out now and I can ASSURE YOU that if I had not gotten to goal in that first 18 month window, I would not have made it. My advice, look into revision to the DS, or the new modified (less side effects) DS. That is what I would do. While I realize we are all in this together, I think that people with higher BMIs have extra challenges. Essentially the disease process of obesity is much further advanced and much harder to "put in remission"

[Disabledaccount 154]

Thank you so much for hearing me. I appreciate your feedback and will talk to my surgeon at my next appointment. This is the point I've been trying to make I have never had the luxury of being thin. I wasn't one of those folks who gained weight as I got older or had kids. That's why time meant so much to me as I feel like I've missed out on so much. Did I expect to lose it all in one go? Of course not but at least not at a snails pace.Also obesity runs in the family. Is it my destiny to be fat? To go through all this and still not even have close to 'normal' results. Hell i'm still at some people's starting weight. Sure I'll buck up and keep going. What choice do I have? but the disappointment is not something thats just going to go away. I had too much riding on this.

[Weighting2BeFree 164]

Just my two cents on the liquids. I'm 4 mo post op and straight Water makes me sick. It feels almost scratchy going gown my sleeve. Instead I drink Powerade zero like it's going out of style. I buy 14 bottles per week and make sure to drink two bottles a day. Boom. 64 oz and then anything else I drink is gravy. I get them on sale at Tom Thumb or winco for 49 or 69 cents each. Just my trick.

[kimby1029 119]

Dear StartingOverYetAgain -

I am glad you have come back to the forum and are ready to move forward. I heard you and have read every response given to you. I do agree with others about tweaking your diet. I am having to stay below 40

carbs per day to lose and I am early out. I apparently am just really sensitive to them.

Great thing is I figured this out pre-surgery and have zealously

followed keeping those carbs low (like others have suggested) and so

am able to move along in a way

that is not making me crazy. I miss certain things, but understand ona fundamental level that this is what I have to do to get to where I

want to go. Each day feels like starting over yet again. I know the desire to want this to be at least somewhat easier, but this is just

not the hand we got dealt. You know what you need to do - are you

ready to do it? If so, go for it! We are all supporting you!

Edited July 7, 2015 by kimby1029

[angry 158]

@, I want to be clear, I hear you and I empathize with you. I am nearly two years out and I have not reached goal. I eat less calories than all the thin people I know. I work out like crazy (again harder than people that are thinner than me) and I get annoyed that Im still not where I want to be. Everytime I think obesity runs in my family (like hardcore most women are 400+ lbs) Im reminded of the meme that says nobody runs in your family, and I have to admit that is true as well. I too have been overweight since I was seven years old and I currently weigh less than or at least close to what I weighed in highschool. None of it fell off 25+ lbs at a time for me either, to be honest I lost the most weight, the most quickly when I did medifast BEFORE I had the surgery. Could you have done this without surgery? absolutely, I believe we all could have but we didnt and we are here now, whereever here may be. While I adore lipstick lady I remember feeling jealous of her results when I was sleeved, and even when I rejoined the boards after forever and saw her weight, it made me feel some kinda way about myself.

Thats not her burden, thats mines, because at the end of the day, I know that I may have for periods of time put in work, but there have also been too many times that I decided I wanted what I wanted and it was taking me too long to get where I was going to continue to deprive myself. Im not trying to lecture you, Im not perfect at all and I think I understand what youre going through I just would hate for you to get another surgery only to find that wasnt the problem. I have several family members that have gotten gastric bypass and they are obese and eligible for the surgery (based on bmi) again. Do you really want to risk another procedure if you cant honestly say you have given this one your best? Why dont you try to go back to Protein shakes and a small meal or just shakes for a month, drink nothing but Water and keep working out at least 3x/wk then see where you are at the end of the month? If you dont lose anything, decide your sleeve is defective and remove whatever you want, but if you do lose consider that life just sucks for you and you have to work harder than other people. If the latter turns out to be the case take solace in the fact that you are not alone.

[Disabledaccount 154]

@@angry That's interesting, your story is quite similar to mine. Dropped 22 pounds on the 2 week liquid diet. It literally just came off. That's why I was so shocked after surgery when the scale wouldn't budge. Ok stalls, ok more Water, ok more Protein, okay exercise, do this okay, do that okay but barley anything. The weight literally came off pound for pound.

Over and over I raised concerns at checkups/support groups and posted about things not feeling right, shouldn't I be losing more and it was always this how dare you question the sleeve tone. Went to nutritionist, therapist got suggestions continued to follow up and it was always be patient, it'll happen. Even earlier this year, this feeling of frustration started to intensify and tried to rev things again. I was taking a picture of everything I ate and sending it to a nutritionist to evaluate and make recommendations. Around that time is when I started adding in personal training for a boost. If I had just heard you know what not everyone has a honeymoon period, you might never see any major dips and not everyone reaches goal within 2 years, I would have mentally prepared and saved myself the mental anguish. But to wait for something to come month after month, not see it, voice concern and feel like you're talking to a brick wall, surely you can understand why I'm angry. You've been obese your entire life, fat shamed, told to eat less, stop being lazy so you get your stomach sleeved, can't even eat how you used to, you're more active than you ever were and you're still obese. After a while, it was like screw it, I'm done, went into a deep depression and old habits crept back in.

Honestly don't think I'd be up for surgery again unless I really can't move the needle with diet any longer. I'll discuss with my surgeon when we meet in a few months but I'm just going to go back the basics. Right now, I'm going through the stages of grief and unpacking my anger at the shitty hand I've been dealt, I just need hear I'm not crazy and im not the only one not shedding tons of weight. Now it's on to the acceptance that my journey is not normal and I'm just going to go into robot mode, make my checklist and do what I need to do. I'm not giving this mental space anymore, if it happens, it happens. It's been almost 2 years of mental torture and I am DONE

Edited July 8, 2015 by startingoveryetagain

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I think you have received much solid, practical advice. I was overweight or obese from about age 5 with a couple of very short lived flirtations with normal size... i genuinely view obesity as a disease process and depending on the stage you are at....well, experiences vary.

I have been normal size for a few years now and I STILL feel the pull toward eating too much or wrong stuff. Thing is once you have obesity it just doesn't take much.

I read of people talking about eating off the hook amounts of food preop so they assume we all did that. Yes,I overate,ate the wrong things but to this day it amazes me I was hanging out in the 300# range....like, wow, it didn't take crazy amounts of food to maintain that weight once I got so big.

Anyway, don't give up, try the many good suggestions, keep seeking support and most importantly seek support from medical professionals.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@MichiganChic Thanks for the feedback. Yup going back to my Stage III diet plan and going to see the nutritionist and tweak my eating which is all I can do at this point. I'm done stressing about goals as apparently my expectations were too high. I've gotten it out, said my piece and am going focus more high Protein and make the necessary adjustments, where the scales lands is where it lands. I'm done agonizing over this.

I think you are doing all you can. I hope you can take solace in that. There is always this thing in the back of my mind that casts the blame and shame on ME that I was so obese, and that I had no one to blame except myself. Not sure why I feel the need to do that, but it might be that I was raised Catholic .

Anyway, when I think about realistically, I know that is not entirely true. I got dealt a raw deal. It doesn't change anything, but I suppose it makes me feel a little better. We all have to acknowledge our part in our obesity, but there is much more at play than the obvious. I think @@CowgirlJane said it well - obesity is a disease state, and it's pretty shocking that it really didn't take anything wild to get to 300 pounds.

I firmly believe that WLS surgery is not as predictable as we'd like to think. No one tells you that directly, but I suppose that where the statistics come in. One other thing - I just wanted to validate your desire for speed (like I said it wasn't fast enough for me either). I've seen articles based on studies that people who lose their weight faster do have better success because there is some gratification. That is one of the reasons WLS helps, because it does usually cause a rapid loss. For those of us with lots to lose, that honeymoon period of rapid loss just isn't long enough. I needed another two-three months of losing to get to a normal BMI, but that wasn't in the cards for me.

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

I agree with Cowgirl. It is amazing to hear what people eat pre and post op. I am not a volume eater. I have always been a snacker. Never a soda drinker, but love beer. We all have our vices and we are here for a reason. I would love to know if they have studied that as far as the effectiveness of surgery based on preop habits. Additionally, how the metabolism plays a part post op.

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

The other thing is even post surgery so many people live on 1000cal or less and still drink Protein shakes etc. and find it difficult to maintain or loss. That is frustrating especially when one combines physical activity to include weight training and cardio. Those BMR calculators do no apply to do many of us. If I ate the number of calories recommended of whole, clean foods I would still not lose. I did that preop with my NUT. I would love to know why those that give weight loss a fighting chance presurgery are not effective. I am talking about a combination of diet, exercise and tracking. Then throw in surgery. Michiganchic, I totally agree that seeing weight loss is positive reinforcement. And why some may do better than others.

I say get back to basics. If it doesn't seem to work have your sleeved checked!

[NikkiDoc 312]

IMO you need to way lower your carbs. You said that during the day you stick to the diet but fall off he wagon when you watch TV at home. TV has tons of ads for food. Either start watching movies and Netflix and things without commercials to see if not having ads for food every 15 minutes helps.

If watching TV just give you the time to be bored so you graze time to find a new hobby. Knitting, cross stitch, crocheting- these take both hands and you won't want to get food on your project so you can't eat at the same time. Maybe take night classes through the local community college. Our local school district has adult night classes in all kinds of stuff- exercise, computers, cooking healthy meals, knitting, scrap booking, horseback riding, foreign languages. They are inexpensive. Do something so you don't have time to be bored and graze.

Go through your cabinets/fridge/pantry and get rid of the carb such as Pasta, bread, crackers, white/brown rice. Only get your carbs from green vegatables. Don't buy corn, lima Beans, etc... I rarely have fruit. I might puree some in my Protein drink for a change in flavor. Don't have carbs and slider foods in your house, car or at your work. Don't put those temptations in easy reach.

Plan your meals for the week and prepare them ahead of time. Make it easy to grab the right thing and hard to grab the wrong thing. If you are starving keep things like celery, carrots, grape tomatoes already cut and washed available. Graze on those. If you really hate them plain then dip in hummus not in dressing.

For drinking I like Mio liquid Water Enhancer. They come in a bunch of flavors. I will sometime buy a gallon of DIET Chik-fil A lemonade and Water it down. I do not drink juice or soda. I do use a straw because for me I could never get in all my liquids without using a straw. For some reason I never drink as much out of a bottle or cup.

I would try a little longer and go back to the basics before I would do a DS. Do you know what size bogie your surgeon used? Has he done any post-op testing to see how big your sleeve is currently? Could you surgeon have been a little generous in your sleeve size?

Have you considered a second opinion with another surgeon either in your current practice or another bariatric practice? They may have a difference protocol that will help you.

If your current NUT/dietician isn't helping you call another bariatric practice and see who they recommend.

Thinking outside the box, make an appointment with an endocrinologist. Thyroid issues are frequently under diagnosed. Many PCPs do not do all of the correct thyroid panels. Most PCPs don't seem to recognize stuff like Hashimoto's so they don't know to refer to a specialist. Many obsese woman have PCOS. There are diabetic drugs that can be used off label to help- metformin, Byetta etc.. The endocrinologist may be able to help your figure out if you have any other undiagnosed metabolic issues that are slowing your weight loss.

For me to have any weight loss I need to be strict about high Protein and low carb. I cannot get my carbs from fruit, potatoes, starchy vegetables, rice or grains. Even whole grains are out. I do not do low fat. I will eat real cheese and butter in moderation. the exception on the cheese is I will eat low fat cottage cheese (not fat free) and 2% Cracker Barrel cheese. But if I grab a cheese stick from the convenience store I don't stress. I do not fry things. I will use EVOO to saute or to oven roast vegetables.

Incidently I do not track my calories. It is not how my surgeons program tracks things. My program has me eat a minimum of 62 grams of protein and drink 64 oz of water. I keep the sugars low and the fat below 11 grams per meal. The sugar guidelines are a little explicit than "low" but it would be hard for me to type it out. I always eat my protein first and then green vegetables. I don't have room for anything beyond that. I eat 5-6 meals and do not graze.

Good luck and I hope you find a good program that works for you.

[robinsmj 39]

As NikkiDoc has said check for undiagnosed metabolic issues. I don't have a sleeve I went with RNY because of metabolic issues. I was never an overeater but the quality of what I ate was low, and that does not mix with a person that has metabolic issues. I knew if I got the sleeve it would not work as effectively for me as RNY. Get some labs ran, and talk to your nutritionist. Best of luck

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I took time to read through this thread before posting. I'll say this as someone who still has a long way to go; when your starting weight is over 300lbs the rules are different. Sure some can make goal within a year, but for many of us that's not realistic.

I started at over 400 lbs. I've been losing steadily but except for the big drop within the first 2 weeks, I can't say I'm losing particularly fast. On average I lose about 10lbs a month. I have severe allergies and some other ongoing, non-weight related health issues. I am menopausal. When I started this I knew that any changes I made were going to be for LIFE! I also fully expect this to take at least 2 years. I remind myself of those 2 facts every day and work at it each and every day. I'm not worried about the past, or being super thin. I want to have a normal BMI and I want to be under 200lbs.

I don't compare myself or my progress to any one on this list or in my support group. If I feel tempted to, I log off of this board for a few days and focus solely on me.

I think it's a good idea to meet with a nutritionist. I think it's important to not only be told what you should or shouldn't eating, but why. Having an understanding of things like complex vs simple carbs, natural vs artificial sugars and sweeteners, healthy fats vs bad fats has made a big difference in how I plan my meals and choose what foods I can have. Those are things that might be helpful in your discussion with the nutritionist. It took more than 2 years to gain the weight, it's honestly not unreasonable that it takes 2 years to lose it.

I am on MFP as Milaxx. Feel free to send me a friend request. I share my diary with friends and try to be supportive. I am vegetarian. Between that and my food allergies, my eating is a bit different than most. I eat a lot of yogurt and eggs, but I also eat other things.

I wish you success in whatever you do.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

.... While I adore lipstick lady I remember feeling jealous of her results when I was sleeved, and even when I rejoined the boards after forever and saw her weight, it made me feel some kinda way about myself...

Wait, whuuuut?!?!?

<head scratching>

What in the world would you have to be jealous of? I am still "overweight" according to the BMI charts but I have found peace in my size. I wear a size 8 and some size 6s at "high end" stores. (Vanity sizes, yo!!) I still haven't reached my personal stretch goal weight and I still work at it daily at over 2 years out.

That said, I can do anything I want to do. I can run, lift weights, Zumba. I just got my 2nd degree black belt and Martial Arts Instructor certification. I can kick your ass and teach you how to defend yourself at the same time. I can shop any where, I can wear (almost) anything. I may not have achieved the number on the scale yet, but I feel SO MUCH BETTER than I ever have before.

Losing weight is so much more than a number on the scale and I think we forget that sometimes. It's all about how you FEEL. I am not perfect, but I feel great about my accomplishments so far and if I stay where I am now, I am SO MUCH BETTER OFF than I was 3 years ago.

That's the bottom line.