Telling Your Children

[zimbarb 1]

Hi, I am so excited!! My surgery is on WED. My kids are away at camp and will be home 4 days after surgery ( I tried to get an earlier surgery date but they had none) I have not told them yet , they are 11 yr old girls. What and how did you tell your kids? I do not want them to think it is ok to get fat and eat and eat (not that they would be just like me!!) but I want to be as honest with them as possible any suggestions welcome.

Thanks!

[Daisee68 2,493]

I don't have children, so maybe I am not the best to weigh in on this, but my nephews (7 and 9) overheard my sister saying something to me about the surgery (about a week before). The 9 year old was very concerned and wanted to know why I was having surgery. She told him it was so I could get healthier. At the time, I had my foot in a boot for a fracture in my heel, so he promptly said "Oh good. So she won't have to wear her boot anymore". Yep!

He did ask again another time, and I just told him that the drs were going to help me get healthier so I could do more stuff with him. I know your girls are older and they will see your change in eating, so it will be different than my situation, but I would think just stressing you goal for health and how it will increase your time and activity with them. Good luck! I am sure they will be supportive!

[*Lexie* 1,486]

I didn't tell my son I was having surgery until it was over and then I didn't really say what it was for. He has anxiety and I knew he would worry excessively about me if he knew. He was really upset just seeing me in the hospital. He was 8 at the time, I just told him I had surgery on my stomach to make me feel better. That was enough to satisfy him.

[cmick14 34]

My son was 12 when I had my surgery and I was upfront and honest with him about what I was doing and why. He said he was so happy that I wanted to get healthy and would support me no matter what. He asked about what they soukld actually do in the surgery and we googled the procedure and watched a 20 min video on the surgery on YouTube. This was actually great for us both because I got to see how it was done and it answered all his questions. I think the biggest impact for him was afterwards as I was great up to about day 5 and then I was hit with dizzy spells and lack of energy and needed help getting stuff done around the house. By day 15 when I started on food I started getting better with energy and feeing back to normal.

[naturegirl 320]

My husband and I are very open with our children. They knew that daddy was having surgery, and what it was for. This meant that when he came home from the hospital that they needed to be careful with his belly, Whether touching it or accidentally bumping it. They have even seen his incision sites. They also know that mommy will be having the surgery. The no touching mommy's tummy part will be hard as kids like to sit on me, and our youngest is a big cuddler. For reference, our children are 10, 8, 5, and 4. They have handled it well, and have asked good questions.