Am I being unrealistic?

[JLT1971 29]

I knew 4th of July weekend could be challenging. We went out to the cottage that we share with my husbands family. I had enough food there for me to be safe as their choices aren't exactly the best. But as I sit with my plate of chicken, green Beans and cantaloupe I watch the adults in my life (who are ALL overweight and MIL has RAGING diabetes) pile carbs and carbs and carbs onto their plate. Burger w bun, potato salad, Mac & cheese, etc etc. Then my FIL buys my daughter a bday cake. Not just a small cake a FULL sheet cake! And THEN he pulls out a homemade pound cake for my SIL with fudge, caramel, etc for toppings. Who does he think is going to eat this?! The whole town? MIL proceeds to eat a piece of sheet cake and then ask for a piece of pound cake with fudge and a scoop of ice cream!!!! I was smart enough to have sugar free vanilla ice cream on hand. But when I mentioned to ANY of them-try my sugar free vanilla with strawberries and sugar free choc sauce-they all were like no I want "that" kind (full sugar).

Is it completely unrealistic of me to think with my condition the people around me would get a clue?! Or is it awful for me to be irritated with their horrible choices? I can't even stand being in the same room with them while we are eating. They all eat like it's their last meal and I'm here chewing for days.

It's just really irritating to me and I feel bad about it ????

[reree6898 1,164]

Feel proud of yourself for making better choices for you. Just do the best you can to be a good example and know that the other adults have to make and live with their own choices.

[maggie409 765]

Amazing how our eyes are opened up to we used to eat ourselves. They don't condemn you for your eating choices now. You shouldn't condemn them for their eating choices. You can't save the world. Remember a previous you that would get soooo irritated at the skinny health fanatic that was always griping at how people ate and posting her workouts on Facebook? You are now that person. Don't irritate the people around you like that person did you. Enjoy your new lifestyle and love the people around you. As your health improved there will be a select few that will want to change. But not many.

[JLT1971 29]

Good points maggie409. Thank you!

[SkinnyDown 409]

@@JLT1971 You posted this, so I assume you want some honest responses, so here goes.

I guess I'd ask why do you care what anyone else eats? Why are you keeping score? You laid out a very detailed account of what everyone else ate. How is this helping you at this point? I'd say stop judging everyone else and keep your eyes on your own plate.

I'd also ask myself why you want to "match" what they eat....all those artificial sweeteners and sugar alcohols etc. aren't that great for you. So, you trying to convince others to eat the poison...is like trying to lead ants to Aspartame or Splenda. They don't want that, they already know that's worse for them, than real sugar. They want the real thing. I don't blame them. You could have easily enjoyed a few chunks of fruit, with natural sugars, and that should have been sufficient, and would have been healthier. You are on, or "should" be on, another path. Away from all of that, and towards health.

Look if you want sympathy, someone may give it, but if you want honesty, and I think you really wanted honesty. It sounds like you could benefit by looking into food addiction issues with a therapist. Why you want those foods, and why you feel left out, and are upset about what others get and you don't, is a clear sign you have issues to work on. The only reason I know this, is because I spent a lifetime doing the same, and finally got the help I needed. That's my honest opinion. You seem to want help, and there is help out there for you. But you have to take the first step.

I wish you luck, with everything! I'm not a mean person, just blunt, and to the point. I blame my Sagittarianism on that. lol

[The Candidate 3,215]

You have to remember how long it took you to get to the place where you are now. Until you were personally ready to make such a drastic 360 degree life style change, Mother Theresa herself could have offered you healthier food options and you would have chosen the full sugar route too.

Trying to force change on others, or even gently suggest it, even with the best intentions, can often make the situation worse. I know of a few times in my past when others tried to "politely" suggest I lay off the sweets and savory goodies. Or at least cut down on my gargantuan portions and It only made me defensive and angry. Plus I usually ended up eating more just to make me feel better.

The best thing you can do to promote change is to continue to be healthy and lose weight. That's the kind of example and unvoiced message that people will want to follow. You can only have ultimate say over your own journey.

[shellyd88 463]

Hi I think it's only natural that at times we may feel resentful at what others can eat that we can't or shouldn't the thing is we decided to do this and deal with the changes required and if we are going to be around other people at family functions restaurants etc we have to deal with what's on our program and not be resentful of others you can't control what others do say eat how they act we can only control what we do when we were all heavy and eating high calorie high sugar foods we didn't want ppl calling us out and humiliating us in public let's not do it to others if they have diabetes they already know they shouldn't consume that and if they do it anyway they will live with the consequences my mom developed diabetes in her late 40s and was dead by age 56 from complications due to not following the diet continuing to eat high carb high sugar foods etc not exercising I guess the addiction got the better of her no amount of begging pleading yelling lecturing or trying to replace the bad food with good food did any good we all have to be accountable for what we put in our mouths no one can do it for us save your energy to work on you don't waste it being a food cop for others they will do what they are going to do

[catwoman7 11,215]

I don't get resentful or try to change anyone's habits, but I've noticed I've become much more aware of what people are eating. Like my husband (who's never had a weight problem). Yesterday we went out for Breakfast. I got a thing of yogurt. He ordered this platter piled high with pancakes and fried potatoes. All I could think was "good Lord - look at all those carbs!!!"

[stacy1204 22]

One simple sentence: this is your personal story not there's!!

You got this, fight on!!!

[TXMissy 211]

I don't look. I wore those shoes too long to make decisions for others. My father is a diabetic. He tries. My mother doesn't eat anything green, ever. They are good southern people who like their food chicken fried, smothered or covered in bacon on the nights it isn't texmex. I know what my goals are and I have lived with them ridiculing me and making comments of "do you think your better than us". The answer is no I don't, I love my parents very much. I don't want my children to say the things about me that I just said about my parents. I want to be able to walk up a ful flight of stairs without feeling like I'm passing out. I want to be able to chase my kids when we play hide and go seek. I made the change for me. It was what I wanted, not what anyone else did. I can't say it's for everyone. I went and bought my daughter a cake for her birthday and ice cram. Did I eat it, nope. I had a hand full of grapes and no one questioned me. They had plates covered in cheese and sauce at Olive Garden the other day, I had salad and Soup. I still enjoyed their company. Stop looking at their plates. It will make you wonder. You can't make them change.

[Patk 18]

After I lost 100 lbs. from a stomach stapling, I too looked at obese people with some contempt. All of a sudden I was queen of health and told people that I'll never be fat again. Well fast forward a couple decades and now I'm looking at bariatric surgery again. Unfortunately for me eating crow is not my cup of tea.