Cousin Ettie

[gowalking 10,790]

Went to a baby shower on Saturday for the daughter of a dear friend of mine. We've been friends for more than 40 years so I know her family well. The last time I saw many of them was for the wedding of the mom to be when she was a bride two years ago.

I got lots of comments on how good I looked. I was ready for them and was very gracious. Then cousin Ettie comes over and tells me that she didn't recognize me and that (in a stage whisper) I lost alot of weight. Twice she said it. I know it took everything she had to not ask how I did it, which I appreciated but it was still unnerving the way she swooped in on me and got up into my face. I have relatives just like this so I was able to not let it bother me once she moved on to someone else but I was really glad to have gotten that over with...lol.

I'm at the point now where I have started crossing these 'experiences' off my list. Yet another group of people who have seen me thin and hopefully will not think about it twice the next time I am in their midst. Sounds silly but that's what I'm looking forward to now.

[Sharpie 3,306]

I try to appreciate someone even if they are not really complimenting me but rather being nosy. I have chosen to be very honest and upfront about my surgery. I don't think it pays to be mysterious or dishonest. It has started to get normal for my friends and family now so they rarely comment. I did have someone ask me recently if I was sick but that was someone who had not seen me in a long time. I told her why I looked thin and left it at that. At this stage of my life I don't really care what people think of me or how I got healthy. I am the winner for having the sense to stop destroying my health. Liz you are living proof that his can be done. Keep on enjoying it No guilt, No Regrets is my motto.

[The Candidate 3,215]

There is someone in my office who has lost a ton of weight. I mean like going from 400+ to 200 in a very short time frame. She looks amazing. She doesn't know it, but she was a great inspiration to me to seek out surgery.

I am 99.9% positive that she had the surgery, as she was gone for about six weeks on leave, began walking shortly beforehand on her lunch hour, is drinking Protein shakes, and always has a Water bottle. I could be wrong of course, but that's my take.

It's been about two years now and I have given her many compliments as she continued to lose. But I never once asked her if she had surgery or how she lost the weight. I figure if she wanted me to know she would have told me herself. And it is absolutely none of my business.

I'm one of those who has chosen to keep my decision private, except for family and a few friends. I already know that if pressed, I will just say that I had many health issues that I was dealing with, and ultimately I had to make the decision with my doctor to change my life. All of which is true.

I personally feel that the decision of whether or not to tell is as intensely personal, as is the choice of what procedure to have. One size does not fit all. When you feel pressured to reveal personal information about yourself, or your surgery, it often leads to regret, because once the info is out you can never get it back again.

While I believe your Cousin Ettie had the best of intentions, this is your journey and yours alone. Stay within your own comfort zone and you will always do well, and in the end probably feel better about staying true to yourself.

[Nikki D 62]

I have customers ask me all the time how I'm losing the weight. I simply tell them a high Protein, low carb diet and exercise. Most take it at that and leave it.

Yesterday I actually had a customer ask me "no surgery?" I was completely taken aback. I'm not telling my DAD I had surgery, I don't know what made this near stranger think it was ok to ask me such a question. Some people have absolutely no class or filter.

As said previously it's a very personal decision. Tell as little or as much as YOU chose.

[B-52 7,113]

Eventually, it becomes old news. People accept you for what you have become, and soon forget you were ever over weight. And life goes on.

I had to remind people on occasion, to get in context of certain discussions.

[horsegirl315 114]

I agree with the above. For a while it got kind of sickening. My weight was always a huge embarrassment for me, I didn't want to be noticed. But for about a year straight I had people telling me how great I looked and that I must have lost a lot of weight, which still made me uncomfortable. I never liked my weight noticed, and the fact that people noticed how much I had lost was still embarrassing to me. However I'm past that phase, I worked very hard for my weight loss, it was more work than I anticipated but I did it. No one comments on my weight anymore, so I guess it's comforting to me, to feel normal. But some people who have had surgery can't wait for people to notice, I guess it just depends on how you take it, and how it's said

Edited July 19, 2015 by horsegirl315