male only Guys Room - Is everyone else overly emotional or am I just an a*****e?

[BigViffer 3,544]

I was never a touchy/feely person before surgery, but I was at least apathetic of it when I saw it. I have noticed however that I am having a very real emotional response to things I read or hear in person. And it is disdain or outright aggression.

I swear I want to slap the person who utters the words Journey or Chapter. You know the ones, "Beginning my journey!" Starting a new chapter of my life!"

Ugh.

And the crying. Oh god they never pass up a good opportunity to talk about how they cried about something.

"I saw something I couldn't eat!"

"Someone ate in front of me!"

"Someone said I took the easy way out!"

et cetera, et cetera...

There will always be something you will not be able to eat. And someone will always be there to eat it right in front of you. We all know it was not the easy way out, so whoever said it you can ignore with impunity. Even though this topic is in the Guys Room and I put Guy Room in the topic title, I know the women will come in and read it. Calm down ladies please, I don't mean just the women. I repeat! It is not just women that do these things. There are men as well.

This is not a journey nor a chapter. Those both have a beginning and an end. This isn't a TV show written to tug on the heartstrings about a character overcoming adversity with inspirational music coming to a crescendo at the moment of victory. This is a lifelong change in how we are going to live. Why romanticize it? It is what it is and trying to emulate the sappy crap you see on TV doesn't make it easier or harder. Post surgery life is what it is. It's not a contest to see who suffered the most and then leads the happiest life afterwards.

During my research phase and conversations with my surgeon, I discovered that hormones are fat soluble and there will be heightened levels of hormones while we are losing weight. Maybe that explains why others are sappy or trying to describe their journeys or chapters or whatever they want to call it, but why am I not that way?

So tell me guys, anyone else feel this way or is it just me? Is this my emotional response to hormonal dumping?

[Maverick1971 22]

Dude its the testosterone that has you jacked up. It has been stored in your fat cells and as you lose weight it is coming out. Your body will eventually level out once you stop losing weight at a rapid pace.

[Jerr_Bear 241]

Yeah, there seems a to be a lot of that here. I don't think you're an a-hole for making that observation. That's really why I don't go to the live support groups, because that's all there is there too. It just seemed like a pity party.

[BigViffer 3,544]

Hmmm... two posts have been removed from this thread. Babbs comment and my reply. Why were they removed? We weren't in a pissing contest.

[BigViffer 3,544]

Just don't watch chick flix. Never do that. Ever.

Funny you should mention that. On the second week I was watching Paulie with my kids. It's a family movie about a parrot that can truly speak looking for his little girl owner. Got a lump in my throat over a kids movie! I had to watch several action flicks afterwards!

[BigViffer 3,544]

Oops, there were 4 posts removed! I only put these back in because We are adults here and can resolve disputes like adults. As you can see, there are no name-calling other than what I have already called myself. No hard feelings from members, and there was even a helpful post removed.

So mods, please leave these comments in so that other members can learn something from it. If either Babbs or drmeow want their posts removed, then that is different. I'd concede to their wishes of course.

Posted by Babbs on Yesterday, 6:18 PM in The Guys’ Room

I know it's the Guys room, but I just have to say : You're just being an a******.

Having a potentially life saving, life changing procedure is pretty emotional for most people.

That is all. I'm out.

My reply:

I know this is going to be falling on deaf ears since "That is all and you are out", but I do not believe I am being an a*****e. I have not disrespected a single member on this forum, I have not made a negative posts on anyone else's thread, and I have made it a point to try and be helpful when I felt I could contribute to the conversation.

I may BE and a*****e, but I am not BEING one on this forum.

That being said, you commented on a thread that is in the Guys' Room only to say I'm an a*****e (which I am totally cool with), but you don't offer anything constructive. Nothing in your post is helpful to me nor to any other male who may be feeling the same as I do.

Please understand, I harbor no rancor towards you. I just don't find your above post very helpful.

Then there was a helpful post by drmeow:

Posted by BigViffer on Yesterday, 9:45 PM in The Guys’ Room

drmeow, on 22 Jun 2015 - 21:34, said:

I wonder if your disdain or agression you feel towards people who act this way, is a deflection of anger or other emotions you are feeling yourself, as you lose weight and the hormones wax and wane. Many people overeat b/c of anger or sadness that is not dealt with but buried inside. When you can no longer eat to stuff those feelings down, you may feel very strong emotions you aren't ready to deal with. Just a thought.

An excellent observation! I should take note the next time I am reading this forum how I am feeling before signing in. I usually read and/or comment on posts after coming back from the gym at my lunch break. I am usually tired, very thirsty, and somewhat hungry. I don't normally pay attention to how I am feeling emotionally though. I could be frustrated because I cannot do the exercises from my heydays, but I have not given it a thorough analysis.

[drmeow 323]

I never asked for it to be removed; maybe something automatically pulled it b/c of the a$% notations? LOL

Glad to be helpful.

[drmeow 323]

p.s. totally makes sense that you'd have testosterone being dumped into the bloodstream by the weight loss - we ladies have increased in estrogen which trigger cycles and/or mood swings - both hormones are stored in fat.

[smoothazz 72]

Along my journey, I've had to learn to speak my truth. I've turned the page on this new chapter and the universe has given me a real gift. I've had to open my heart to receive love and learn to do hard things. Just remember to believe in yourself and just be you.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Thanks for bringing this up. I had a similar experience, but didn't put it together until now. Makes sense. But it stopped in March. Thanks for bringing it up.

[BigViffer 3,544]

Along my journey, I've had to learn to speak my truth. I've turned the page on this new chapter and the universe has given me a real gift. I've had to open my heart to receive love and learn to do hard things. Just remember to believe in yourself and just be you.

lol... just noticed this. You're my kind of an asshole.

[TX302 3]

This thread is hilarious, I've shared a few of your observations as well In my case though I'm very much pre-op and I fully expect to turn into the Grinch/Captain Ahab once I get the surgery done and testosterone reigns supreme.

[NCTRNL 25]

I don't know if it's related to this but I am not really in a very good mood at all lately. Maybe it's the whole '800 calories/day' thing...but who knows. I went to a WLS support group and honestly...ended up really annoyed with most of the people I talked to.

[RNsleever715 117]

I think you need a drink. Lol

[NCTRNL 25]

I think you need a drink. Lol

Don't we all...