OA: All I hear are crickets

[WL WARRIOR 692]

I started attending OA meetings shortly after my sleeve surgery. Attending OA was one of my many strategies I had laid out to help me lose all my extra weight and keep it off. My apathy was what got me up to 280 pounds in the first place and I figured that talking about my struggles with food had to help.

The meetings have helped me tremendously. However, I have become bewildered and annoyed lately with the amount of members and attendance. I usually attend one meeting at a nearby city and another one at a bigger city 45 minutes away. Both of these group meetings have less than 5 members and attendance is usually about 2-3 people. The meeting today had no one present, so I had to turn around and go home.

If our population is growing increasingly obese, then why is there such a terribly low turnout at OA meetings? The meetings are posted in the daily newspaper and online. The AA meetings and NA meetings in these same cities usually have an attendance of over 30 people or more everyday. In my opinion, these groups are very similar and just as effective as OA.

Are people embarrassed or in denial? The meetings only last 30-45 minutes, so it can't be a time factor. My doctor told me that she recommends OA to all her overweight patients, yet none of them attend. It's interesting to note that the few members at these two OA meetings are not overweight. Each person has lost over 100 pounds and has maintained it for many years.

I have no clue how to get more people to attend. Honestly, I didn't even know about OA until a month before surgery. I would like to know about others experience with OA and why or why not they attend.

[LivingFree! 478]

Congratulations on your dedication to be true to your new lifestyle!!! Sadly, my take on it is that a "too-high" percentage of our country is in denial about our obesity epidemic and the poor quality of our food choices. But, I also think that most people immediately default to Weight Watchers or the Jenny Craig-type programs because that is where the huge advertising is.

Personally, I do not attend OA because I have awesome post-op bari support groups available to me through my health insurance. I did look into OA, but there was something that turned me off about it. When I was reading the tenents of OA (I know there's a different word for it), while some of them are positive, my overall impression felt negative (make amends to all the people I hurt--who did I hurt?). I know they are patterned after AA, but they just didn't seem to feel good for me as weight loss guides.

But, that's just me, and what's important is that you found what works for you! I hope attendance improves. This time of year maybe has something to do with it too? Summer vacations?

Edited June 21, 2015 by LivingFree!

[James Marusek 5,244]

I have never attended an Overeaters Anonymous meeting but on the other hand I have attended many many bariatric surgery support group meetings. These later meetings are focused on specific issues of bariatric patients and I find them very useful.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so glad you are finding OA helpful. It is a great program and has saved my life. I encourage anyone who struggles with obesity or other food issues to at least be willing to explore the idea of attending a few meetings.

I do understand your frustration about maintaining a vibrant fellowship. I moved from a large city with a very active OA community to a small rural town. It has taken some time but now there are several meetings available. Between service and letting go and letting God, things do work themselves out.

The traditions, like anonymity, and not promoting are powerful but sometimes hard to understand. I encourage you to read the traditions.

Also, it only takes two people to make a meeting. The few times I was the only person there, I took the time to read, pray, and meditate. You never know if that is the day a newcomer decides to visit and comes in later..

Don't let discouragement keep you from taking what you need from the program.

Best of luck.

[Daisee68 2,493]

I had this same conversation with my counselor. She was saying se wished that OA had taken off more and worked like AA and NA. I attended a meeting once - years ago and it was uncomfortable too few people and was told there was no one to be my sponsor so I never went back. My dr does strongly encourage bariatric support groups and I haven't committed to that yet. (Gotta be honest - I want to be sure I find one that is helpful and not just a bitch session and "how to get around stuff" conversation like SO many Weight Watchers meetings I have attended so I am sort of hesitant.) I know there is a support group meeting near my home tomorrow. Maybe I will make myself go. Tomorrow is my first day back at work so not sure how tired I will be (see how I am already making excuses?!)

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Check the OA website (OA.org) for meetings near you. In addition, they list online and telephone meetings of there isn't one near you.

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@Inner Surfer Girl - a telephone meeting? I like that idea!

[MIMISAN 404]

I would have to say that although half of americans are obese at least half of those kid themselves into thinking they aren't. I have 2 granddaughters that could both qualify as obese. They are in their 20's and aren't embarrassed or worried about their weight. They wear tight clothes and seem to think they are kinda sexy? It stymies me!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

If anyone is interested in learning more about OA, in addition to the printed material on the website there are several podcasts.

http://www.oa.org/oapodcasts/

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Models are ways of regarding conditions and situations that permit greater learning and manipulation of the condition or situation.

The medical model of obesity is that it's a complex disease best resolved by an array of treatments, including education, nutrition, exercise, medicine, surgery, behavioral therapy (and other kinds of therapy), family therapy, environmental controls, increased mindfulness and more.

The Overeaters Anonymous model of obesity is that it's a complex disease best resolved by inviting the intervention of a higher power to remedy our character flaws. These words are found among OA's 12 principles: Power greater than ourselves, sanity, turn our lives and will over to the care of God as we understood Him, moral, wrongs, defects of character, shortcomings, persons we had harmed, make amends, wrong, prayer, meditation, His will for us, spiritual awakening, [evangelize other] compulsive overeaters, practice these principles in all our affairs.

People should choose the model that appeals to them and works best for them.

I would never sign up for the OA ideology. That model doesn't appeal to me. I'm looking to regain control of my life -- not hand it over to some woo-woo entity.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

@@VSGAnn2014, I agree that there are many tools and resources to help us cope with obesity and life. OA (and other 12-step programs) happen to be very effective for many people. You are certainly free to explore and use any of the tools you choose.

I would just encourage you to learn more about something before you discount it out of hand. I have heard so many people who could benefit from OA (and AA, and NA, etc.) based on pre-conceived ideas about what that step means that it breaks my heart. Especially when they discourage others by sharing their own interpretations as fact.

Best of luck with your journey.

[Michelle920 66]

I attended OA many years ago, after being in an inpatient treatment center for bulimia. I've considered going back but am discouraged by how few meetings there are now. If I walk in and see three people after driving half an hour, I won't be happy!! I guess OA doesn't offer the quick fix that people are looking for, and the idea of being happy, joyous and free isn't as tempting as getting into your skinny jeans.

While obesity is medical issue, unless you have NEVER eaten to avoid your feelings, it's also an emotional one, and mental. My biggest problem of late was a diet mentality that twisted my thinking to the point if I wasn't ON a diet I talked myself into eating whatever I wanted. I tried to banish those thoughts and just make a lifestyle change. It didn't work, even with therapy. I realized if I went on another diet I would eventually go OFF it and gain the weight back. Thirty five years of yo yo dieting finally taught me that. I decided to have RNY to "solve" my problem and even though I knew it was a tool, deep down I thought it was still going to fix me all by itself. I'm seeing that no one who has WLS is successful if they don't change their thinking, and find other ways to deal with feelings. I'm only three weeks out and while I'm never hungry and don't crave a thing, if I'm not busy, my head says, "let's eat!"

I knew many people in OA who struggled with things like turning their lives over to a higher power, or making a list of their defects. There were also a lot of people who refused to believe they did anything wrong, or harmed anyone. They said everyone else had hurt them. The successful ones realized no one is perfect and we've all made mistakes.

I think the harshness and severity of the steps or "rules" seem more appropriate for hard core drinkers and drug addicts. They clearly hurt a lot of people, and are willing to find God because their other options are insanity, death or jail. As people dealing with obesity and eating disorders maybe we don't see the urgency. Death is slow, and no one goes to jail for driving under the influence of donuts. Although I've swerved many times while driving to grab food that fell on the floor.

Just my two cents :-)

Edited June 27, 2015 by Michelle920

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@VSGAnn2014, I agree that there are many tools and resources to help us cope with obesity and life. OA (and other 12-step programs) happen to be very effective for many people. You are certainly free to explore and use any of the tools you choose.

I would just encourage you to learn more about something before you discount it out of hand. I have heard so many people who could benefit from OA (and AA, and NA, etc.) based on pre-conceived ideas about what that step means that it breaks my heart. Especially when they discourage others by sharing their own interpretations as fact.

Best of luck with your journey.

Same to you.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I started attending OA meetings shortly after my sleeve surgery. Attending OA was one of my many strategies I had laid out to help me lose all my extra weight and keep it off. My apathy was what got me up to 280 pounds in the first place and I figured that talking about my struggles with food had to help.

The meetings have helped me tremendously. However, I have become bewildered and annoyed lately with the amount of members and attendance. I usually attend one meeting at a nearby city and another one at a bigger city 45 minutes away. Both of these group meetings have less than 5 members and attendance is usually about 2-3 people. The meeting today had no one present, so I had to turn around and go home.

If our population is growing increasingly obese, then why is there such a terribly low turnout at OA meetings? The meetings are posted in the daily newspaper and online. The AA meetings and NA meetings in these same cities usually have an attendance of over 30 people or more everyday. In my opinion, these groups are very similar and just as effective as OA.

Are people embarrassed or in denial? The meetings only last 30-45 minutes, so it can't be a time factor. My doctor told me that she recommends OA to all her overweight patients, yet none of them attend. It's interesting to note that the few members at these two OA meetings are not overweight. Each person has lost over 100 pounds and has maintained it for many years.

I have no clue how to get more people to attend. Honestly, I didn't even know about OA until a month before surgery. I would like to know about others experience with OA and why or why not they attend.

Years ago and I mean 10+ years ago I attended one OA meeting. It was not a good match for me at all! There were many folks there who were bulimic and struggling with other forms of self harm. many were average sized or slim. That wasn't my issue. Reflecting back now I realize that. I still think OA is a good thing if you are truly struggling with food addictions. However it's not a good match for every overweight person. It took a long time to realize what my needs were. I still don't think OA is what I need, but I can understand how for some it's a good tool to have.

[WL WARRIOR 692]

Well, tomorrow is Sunday again. I am going to the meeting even though no one attended last Sunday. Like Surfer Girl mentioned, I think I will meditate or read OA books if no one is there.

As for the steps, I actually had issues "going through them properly" 15 years ago when I was in NA. It ended up that I was overthinking many steps and made a successful recovery without them. I kept going to the meetings even though I wasn't working the steps because just talking about it helped a lot. Like someone mentioned, I wasn't a hard core addict (overdependence on Vicodin) so it may be why I was successful without working the steps. Although I am religious, I've seen others work the steps who weren't very spiritual at all.

Now that I think about it, I had a hard time making amends in OA as well. All I could think of was that my past poor food choices (fast food) affected my sons health since we eat a lot of the same food. When I mentioned this to him, he said, "Are you kidding, I would die for McDonalds chicken nuggets and fries right now!"

The meetings (past NA attendance and current OA attendance) have helped me because I react to stress and trauma in ways that aren't particularly healthy. If I keep on top of it by attending OA, seeing a therapist, and CBT group therapy, then regression is less likely. In the OA meetings I attend, they actually have a rule against excess talking about dieting or food. We mostly just discuss our current stressors. You have a choice to whether you want a sponsor and work the steps.

Thanks for mentioning the OA podcasts. I actually watched a few and found it helpful.