Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Keep WLS a secret from family and friends...



Recommended Posts

This is a super interesting conversation. Thanks for sharing! I am in a similar boat as many of you - hesitant to tell friends and coworkers. And for similar reasons: what if I regain the weight?, what if they judge me?, what if it's awkward?, what will happen in social settings?, etc.

Another layer that adds to it for me is that I'm a pastor of a church -- so there's kind of a "spiritual failure" aspect to my heaviness -- and also a piece of my recovery process that is in public because of my public career. I'd hate to lose a ton of weight and have my congregation think I did it without the tool of WLS if that was the truth. Not only because it'd kind of be a shade of falsehood, but also because there are others in the church struggling with weight -- and my example could give them permission to get this kind of aggressive help.

It's sure scary though.

So I haven't told anyone.

I am writing a blog but haven't shared it on my Facebook or anything yet.

(Tobypass.wordpress.com if you're interested )

If members of your congregation are judgmental, then maybe they missed the "Judge not, unless thee be judged" (I tried to paraphrase it the best I think it is stated) saying that is written in the New Testament.

Edited by 4MRB4PHOTO

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think anyone needs to know other than close friends and immediate family.. Just my opinion

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a super interesting conversation. Thanks for sharing! I am in a similar boat as many of you - hesitant to tell friends and coworkers. And for similar reasons: what if I regain the weight?, what if they judge me?, what if it's awkward?, what will happen in social settings?, etc.

Another layer that adds to it for me is that I'm a pastor of a church -- so there's kind of a "spiritual failure" aspect to my heaviness -- and also a piece of my recovery process that is in public because of my public career. I'd hate to lose a ton of weight and have my congregation think I did it without the tool of WLS if that was the truth. Not only because it'd kind of be a shade of falsehood, but also because there are others in the church struggling with weight -- and my example could give them permission to get this kind of aggressive help.

It's sure scary though.

So I haven't told anyone.

I am writing a blog but haven't shared it on my Facebook or anything yet.

(Tobypass.wordpress.com if you're interested )

I can understand how you feel my family is very active in church and many of my family members are ministers and pastors but when my uncle (who is a pastor) had the surgery they were all very supportive. Many of my family members struggle with obesity and so I do want to be able to show them that the surgery is a good option especially for those of us who are in our 20's. My plan is to tell them after I have the surgery done in case anyone decides to be negative. The people that I have decided to tell have been very supportive and are praying for everything to work out for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've told my father,mother, daughter (who is 11) and step mother. They were very supportive. I also have told 3 of my closest friends 2 have had wls, of course they were excited. I also told my sister in law she also had wls. However I told one of my cousins and she was like "oh... How long have you been trying to lose weight?" I did not react to the comment. She is probably 500+lbs, she kept saying I need to get back on track with eating healthy and working out.

So after that conversation I won't say much about it to her because I don't need negative feedback or comments from her. My daughter didn't like the thought of mom having surgery, but I used that same cousin as an example of the reason why I want to embark on this journey. She fully understood. I haven't shared on social sites except instagram, under a different name. I just don't want to hear I took the easy way out.

Hi Thanks for sharing. You really have to be prepared for this journey... I've had WLS before that went horribly wrong. Now I am re-embarking on this journey nearly 7 years later. One thing I can tell you is that it's not the easy way out. Having surgery is a life long commitment to being on the ball forever. It's not like a diet where u can say oh I'm going for a meal I will carry on my diet the next day. You will need to learn about nutrition alot more after WLS than ever before. Trust me don't feel like your taking the easy way out. A doctor once told me... Obesity is a disease and WLS is just the medication you need. Good luck on your journey I hope everything goes well for you! x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had looked into the surgery years ago, and decided not to do it. I was criticized for it and praised for it. This time, very few people know I am considering it. It is a decision between me and my doctor. I don't want to hear anyone else's opinion on it either way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×