Keep WLS a secret from family and friends...

[Jay05 35]

I'm a very private person about every aspect of my life, and this is no different! My sister and I are doing this together, and the only people we're telling are my husband and our mom. We have a VERY large "southern" family where everyone is always in everyone else's business, so we expect the curious looks and the whispers. Nonetheless, we don't care one bit! We are excited about this new phase in our lives!

I'm really happy for you and your sister!! will be great to have each other to lean on. when is your surgery?? x

To date my decision to give myself this special gift is still PRIVATE and will remain so. My decision not to share was the best decision for me. Do what you believe is best for you.

Have u had surgery?

xx

[Jay05 35]

Originally I planned on telling no one but once I scheduled my EGD and needed someone to drive me home I had to break down and tell my boyfriend. He is extremely supportive in anything I do but he doesn't think I need to do something this drastic (those are his words). We have been dating for only a year and a half but were best friends for 20 years prior to dating...so he knows first hand my struggle with my weight.

I am a daddy's girl and extremely close to my dad but have not told him. He retired a few years ago and was all set to travel the world when all of a sudden I was hit with a divorce. My dad refused to leave while my world was upside down and put his travels on hold for me. He left earlier this year to finally start his travels and I know if I tell him he will want to rush home and take care of me. So for now I am not telling him.

My co-workers know I am having a hernia repair and that is it. My plan is to not tell anyone but my boyfriend and dad. However knowing me the first time anyone asks I will spill the Beans...I am not good at lying. Ironically my own sister had gastric bypass 15 years ago and I don't even feel comfortable telling her!

Sounds like u have an amazing bond with your dad. he probably will be initially upset that you didn't tell him, but will be so happy for your weight loss. Your boyfriend sounds like a sweetie too! goodluck! keep us updated x x

[Slim-Shady 79]

I'm really happy for you and your sister!! will be great to have each other to lean on. when is your surgery?? x

My surgery is scheduled for July 14. We are really excited too! Good luck on your journey!

[BarrySue 602]

My surgery is scheduled for July 14. We are really excited too! Good luck on your journey!

I'll have mine on the 13th of July! Good luck!

[tmcx28 297]

I'm just starting the process but I'm only telling a select few. So far I've told 2 friends (one who had WLS recently) and my cousin. I just needed to share it with SOMEONE. Eventually I'll tell my mom but I would rather not worry her considering I'm only on month 1 of my 6 month diet for my insurance. People are still very judgmental about WLS so I really don't plan on telling anyone else. That's why sites like this are great. Even if I don't have much support at home I can at least get it here.

[IndieDivaIN 39]

I told only my husband and kids. Having been on multiple diets ( that people knew I was doing) and failing soo many times didn't want any gossip. I am 9 weeks out and have had multiple get togethers, said i was doing low carb ( which is true) and cutting portion sizes. In large groups, the eating is not soo noticeable. People have noticed the 40 lb wt loss and attribute it to my "new " diet. My friend threw my husband and I a surprise 25th anniversary party and told everyone to bring low fat, high Protein dishes! What a surprise when they see that this time it will be for good. So do what is comfortable to you. And how much support u need from others. My husband and kids are super supportive and that's all I need. Good luck!

[Ms. Nunya 126]

I hope to be sleeved soon. I told my husband, siblings, and my mom. No one else. No friends. No co-workers. I wish I had not told my mom because she runs her mouth without realizing it. Ugh! I'm private like that.

[desireemad 10]

I just got my date for August 28th and i already told my immediate family but i dont know if i will tell anyone else cause my family is very judgmental and I dont need anyone else's opinions

[MIMISAN 404]

I understand what you're saying but I always do things totally the opposite. When I am going to do anything that people are going to want to talk about I talk about it LOUD AND PROUD. It takes the wind right out of their sails. I steal THEIR thunder.

Examples:

1.Years ago I got pregnant before I was married and that was way before it was accepted, so one day at a function someone was digging at me trying to ask without asking and I announced it to the room. Joked about it and they had nothing to gossip about anymore.

2. I got a divorce after 28 years and I knew they would go nuts at work wondering WHY??? So one day I went into work and called a front office meeting of all my co-workers. I said...I just wanted to let you guys know that my husband and I are getting a divorce. Its a final decision, he's not cheating, I am not cheating, we just aren't happy. I don't want to talk about it but when I am ready you will know. Wow were they deflated.

3.About the surgery, I started talking about it and I am not secretive at all. Most support me, my family supports me and those are the important people. Its about your life and your happiness. Live it!

[finediva 979]

@@Jay05 Yes, July 2014.

[Cognorati001 23]

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

My family is Haitian - I only told my immediate family, but I have not told them the location (Mexico). Obesity is unheard of among Haitians -I'm the only obese one in my extremely large family- and to be an unmarried woman going to another country for something like this is unheard of. I lost over 100 pounds years ago through diet and exercise, and the family gossip was that I lost it through pills, which caused all my health problems. It's all lies, but to this day, they still believe it. I just feel it's pointless to add more fuel to the fire, so I'm not telling.

[Jay05 35]

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

My family is Haitian - I only told my immediate family, but I have not told them the location (Mexico). Obesity is unheard of among Haitians -I'm the only obese one in my extremely large family- and to be an unmarried woman going to another country for something like this is unheard of. I lost over 100 pounds years ago through diet and exercise, and the family gossip was that I lost it through pills, which caused all my health problems. It's all lies, but to this day, they still believe it. I just feel it's pointless to add more fuel to the fire, so I'm not telling.

will u tell your closest?? you will need some support. how far are you in your journey??

[Jay05 35]

I told only my husband and kids. Having been on multiple diets ( that people knew I was doing) and failing soo many times didn't want any gossip. I am 9 weeks out and have had multiple get togethers, said i was doing low carb ( which is true) and cutting portion sizes. In large groups, the eating is not soo noticeable. People have noticed the 40 lb wt loss and attribute it to my "new " diet. My friend threw my husband and I a surprise 25th anniversary party and told everyone to bring low fat, high Protein dishes! What a surprise when they see that this time it will be for good. So do what is comfortable to you. And how much support u need from others. My husband and kids are super supportive and that's all I need. Good luck!

This is the direction I hope to take.. just tell everyone the key notes and leave out the WLS info. I'm hoping to start my own diet asap, however I'm really struggling to find motivation at the moment!

[Jay05 35]

I understand what you're saying but I always do things totally the opposite. When I am going to do anything that people are going to want to talk about I talk about it LOUD AND PROUD. It takes the wind right out of their sails. I steal THEIR thunder.

Examples:

1.Years ago I got pregnant before I was married and that was way before it was accepted, so one day at a function someone was digging at me trying to ask without asking and I announced it to the room. Joked about it and they had nothing to gossip about anymore.

2. I got a divorce after 28 years and I knew they would go nuts at work wondering WHY??? So one day I went into work and called a front office meeting of all my co-workers. I said...I just wanted to let you guys know that my husband and I are getting a divorce. Its a final decision, he's not cheating, I am not cheating, we just aren't happy. I don't want to talk about it but when I am ready you will know. Wow were they deflated.

3.About the surgery, I started talking about it and I am not secretive at all. Most support me, my family supports me and those are the important people. Its about your life and your happiness. Live it!

That's such an amazing attitude to have I'm even a tad jealous!! :-) well done for being so outright and out spoken. The problem I have is always listening to the parents, I've been taught to stay quiet in what feels like every important stage of my life. Take what's thrown at you and deal with it. However I have started to fight back and stand up for myself altho I always second guess myself and regret my choice afterwards. It's a difficult situation as I am generally a very bubbly fun loving character. you would never believe the amount of insecurities lie beneath the surface!!

For some silly reason I care what people think about me and I hate to be the center of people's conversations. But I know your right and dealing with it face on is usually the best way forward. Not sure if I could ever achieve it though :-/

[Jay05 35]

I just got my date for August 28th and i already told my immediate family but i dont know if i will tell anyone else cause my family is very judgmental and I dont need anyone else's opinions

I can't wait to get a date. This in the UK work slightly different, I've been on this journey for over a year!! only now been put on waiting list. only 3/4 months to go!! x