Keep WLS a secret from family and friends...

[AfitRN2015 33]

In the end you have to do what is best for you. Remember, this is a difficult decision any way you look at it. We wouldn't be here if we did not need this tool in our toolboxes. Take comfort in the fact that you are doing this for you and your health for a better quality of life. You are in charge of your own destiny. ????????

[BarrySue 602]

I'm relieved to hear I'm not the only one doing this! I don't want to tell anyone except a couple family members who will be going through pre-op with me, and my mother, who gave me a loan to actually go through with the procedure. Part of me wants to keep it a secret forever, but I also think that as I begin to lose weight and gain motivation, I might want to share it with others. I started a Facebook and blog page under a pseudonym, and I figure I will invite my friends and family to join later on if I feel comfortable.

[SuninVirgo 29]

No one knows except my husband. Don't tell anyone. It's none of their business and they aren't the ones to support you. Find support here.

[Stevehud 1,790]

Just remember at some point , you may end up being on the wrong side of these people, no matter what, unintentionally of course. but at some point someone is going to marvel at your weight loss and say, wow you look great, such a great job, how did you do it? or they will say wow great job and you did it without surgery. or as you mentioned hypercritical family members, gossiping, invariably one of them will say " see I told you that you didn't need surgery", and you will have to deal with that side of it as well.

When it does eventually come out you had surgery, you do face the huge risk of really antagonizing these people from that side. It is a very difficult catch 22 situation. If you don't trust people to behave in an appropriate manner will be as upset that you didn't trust them with the information as well.

Personally I'll tell everyone and anyone, I am proud of what I have done and anyone dumb enough to confront my choice, will regret it when I give them an earful, Being proactive about my surgery has helped me with a huge number of supporters, and keeps me focused in those tough times.

Yes, for me encouragement helps.

[Happy13 14]

@@natnat919 hope your surgery(ies) go great! I'm also having my gallbladder out at the same time and can't wait to hear from you how it went. My date is June 30th.... 8 days away and soooooo excited!! Please keep us updated! I'm curious to know how I'll be feeling afterwards.

Edited June 22, 2015 by Happy13

[shellyd88 463]

hi all just remember u don't have to explain or justify your weight loss or gain to anyone having surgery is a personal decision if u need the tool to help get healthier no one should be judging anyone it's your business and the people who will gossip well they will anyway if not about this then something else the same people are usually the ones saying why don't u do something about yourself then when u do they feel free to give a usually unwanted or unhelpful opinion they should be suppportive if they can't be keep your distance you don't need the stress

[moni5855 76]

I too am not telling my family and friends. I tried to tell my best friend, who I have known since the third grade. mind you I've known her for a very long time, she has seen my struggles with my weight loss. my attempts, and still when I mentioned to her. what I was thinking about doing . she did not like what I was saying. I could see it in her face... The only person that knows is my husband and my children my mom. I guess that's all that matters. This is why I'm here . Where people can understand me.

[Slim-Shady 79]

I'm a very private person about every aspect of my life, and this is no different! My sister and I are doing this together, and the only people we're telling are my husband and our mom. We have a VERY large "southern" family where everyone is always in everyone else's business, so we expect the curious looks and the whispers. Nonetheless, we don't care one bit! We are excited about this new phase in our lives!

[finediva 979]

To date my decision to give myself this special gift is still PRIVATE and will remain so. My decision not to share was the best decision for me. Do what you believe is best for you.

[BrownEyedTxGirl 139]

Originally I planned on telling no one but once I scheduled my EGD and needed someone to drive me home I had to break down and tell my boyfriend. He is extremely supportive in anything I do but he doesn't think I need to do something this drastic (those are his words). We have been dating for only a year and a half but were best friends for 20 years prior to dating...so he knows first hand my struggle with my weight.

I am a daddy's girl and extremely close to my dad but have not told him. He retired a few years ago and was all set to travel the world when all of a sudden I was hit with a divorce. My dad refused to leave while my world was upside down and put his travels on hold for me. He left earlier this year to finally start his travels and I know if I tell him he will want to rush home and take care of me. So for now I am not telling him.

My co-workers know I am having a hernia repair and that is it. My plan is to not tell anyone but my boyfriend and dad. However knowing me the first time anyone asks I will spill the beans...I am not good at lying. Ironically my own sister had gastric bypass 15 years ago and I don't even feel comfortable telling her!

[byebyefat 262]

I didnt tell no one, absolutely no one, its no ones business, if anyone asks , ill tell them , i eat healthy, and I jog and exercise 3-4xs a week for 30-45 min, which is a good thing

I meant to say,which is the truth

[Jay05 35]

I just got my surgery 5 days ago and the only person that knows is my mom and my sister. My two best friends know but that's it. I'm afraid of being judged too. My family loves gossip and will most likely tell me that I've taken the easy way out. I have told them before I wanted it but I said it in a jokingly manner, and their views on it were less than stellar. Of course it's hard to keep it a secret because of the post op process, but I will not tell. Maybe I will when I'm ready. Maybe not. At the end of the day, it's our choice.

I have decided not to tell everyone but just my closest. The rest can speculate as much as they want. it's our decision to let them in on what I see something very personal x

[Jay05 35]

I haven't told anyone (except my husband). Before the surgery I told everyone I was going on a diet, and I did...my preop diet....where I lost 10 pounds. They noticed the weight loss in my face. After surgery I told everyone I was just cutting my portion size down and exercising. I try to feed my kids when I eat around people so they aren't specifically watching me eat. It has worked so far! No one even speculates!

This is exactly what I hope to do, tell everyone I'm going on a diet (this is the truth) be more vocal about my progress and take it a day at a time after that. and on social days tell people I'm on a juice diet hence why I'm not eating x

I didnt tell no one, absolutely no one, its no ones business, if anyone asks , ill tell them , i eat healthy, and I jog and exercise 3-4xs a week for 30-45 min, which is a good thing

I meant to say,which is the truth

Great way of thinking!

[Jay05 35]

In the end you have to do what is best for you. Remember, this is a difficult decision any way you look at it. We wouldn't be here if we did not need this tool in our toolboxes. Take comfort in the fact that you are doing this for you and your health for a better quality of life. You are in charge of your own destiny. ????????

I have to learn to put myself first. your right... it's all for a better healthier happier me!! And there is so much support here if needed!! x

[Jay05 35]

I'm relieved to hear I'm not the only one doing this! I don't want to tell anyone except a couple family members who will be going through pre-op with me, and my mother, who gave me a loan to actually go through with the procedure. Part of me wants to keep it a secret forever, but I also think that as I begin to lose weight and gain motivation, I might want to share it with others. I started a Facebook and blog page under a pseudonym, and I figure I will invite my friends and family to join later on if I feel comfortable.

Like u said it's your decision, I hAve decided to tell my parents, BF and husband as they are in my life on a daily basis they will notice the difference etc. but apart from them I won't be telling anyone else. They will all gossip and prob ask but I will just say I'm dieting, got a personal trainer and eating little but often x

good luck in whatever you decide.

when is your surgery?? x