Keep WLS a secret from family and friends...

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

I told people who commented on my weight loss about my VSG. I was not going to lie if someone asked me if I had VSG or make up a story of why I was out of work during the recovery period.

You can always tell people the truth that you:

1. Are on a medically supervised diet.

2. Eat less.

3. Make intelligent food choices now.

4. Exercise.

And not mention you had WLS.

Edited June 20, 2015 by 4MRB4PHOTO

[GreenEyes604 753]

@@Jay05 I am 6-months post op and I didn't tell anyone, family or friends (except for my 24 year old daughter who lives with me). To me this is a very personal life decision and quite frankly I didn't care or want to hear what anyone else had to say about it. I made this decision and did this for me, not for anyone else.

I had no desire to put myself on display for anyone to make absurd and stupid comments based on how THEY felt I was doing. I didn't tell anyone, and if I had to do it all over again, I still wouldn't tell anyone. But that's just my humble opinion.

Some people who embark on this journey need the encouragement and validation that they are doing a good job from the outside world. I didn't need or want that.

[Jay05 35]

I told people who commented on my weight loss about my VSG. I was not going to lie if someone asked me if I had VSG or make up a story of why I was out of work during the recovery period.

You can always tell people the truth that you:

1. Are on a medically supervised diet.

2. Eat less.

3. Make intelligent food choices now.

4. Exercise.

And not mention you had WLS.

I am actually going to quote your list everytime I get questioned! Thank you!! Hope your experience is going well! X^_^

[Jay05 35]

@@Jay05 I am 6-months post op and I didn't tell anyone, family or friends (except for my 24 year old daughter who lives with me). To me this is a very personal life decision and quite frankly I didn't care or want to hear what anyone else had to say about it. I made this decision and did this for me, not for anyone else.

I had no desire to put myself on display for anyone to make absurd and stupid comments based on how THEY felt I was doing. I didn't tell anyone, and if I had to do it all over again, I still wouldn't tell anyone. But that's just my humble opinion.

Some people who embark on this journey need the encouragement and validation that they are doing a good job from the outside world. I didn't need or want that.

It's such a hard decision to have WLS let alone having to explain yourself so I know what you mean. I feel like my huband, parents and BF should know as they are in my daily life and they would know something wasn't right. As far as anyone else I don't want them to know anything. Everyone on this forum has really given me hope and determination. I shouldn't care what anyone thinks x

[cuchas 51]

I just got my surgery 5 days ago and the only person that knows is my mom and my sister. My two best friends know but that's it. I'm afraid of being judged too. My family loves gossip and will most likely tell me that I've taken the easy way out. I have told them before I wanted it but I said it in a jokingly manner, and their views on it were less than stellar. Of course it's hard to keep it a secret because of the post op process, but I will not tell. Maybe I will when I'm ready. Maybe not. At the end of the day, it's our choice.

[go13girl13 9]

I decided to keep it to myself until I have gone through it too. I think I am going to be sleeved in July:)

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

Jay05,

That’s a tough position to be in – it’s a lot harder to go through WLS when you don’t feel comfortable sharing everything with your family. I have a couple of pieces of advice for you.

First, think about whom you will tell. You may not want to tell your family or close friends, but you need to have a support system. There will be tough times ahead. Maybe you can find a few close buddies here on BariatricPal – you can look for one in our General Weight Loss Surgery Forums here! – or maybe your surgeon can put you in touch with other WLS patients.

Second, keep in mind that however hard you try to not let anyone find out, someone is bound to find out about your surgery sooner or later. It may be before surgery, or it may be after surgery but before you’ve lost much weight, or it might be after you’ve lost a lot of weight. I’d suggest preparing yourself mentally for each case so you know what you’ll say and so you don’t get thrown off track.

Good luck, and remember we’re here for you for support for when you need it.

[Jay05 35]

I just got my surgery 5 days ago and the only person that knows is my mom and my sister. My two best friends know but that's it. I'm afraid of being judged too. My family loves gossip and will most likely tell me that I've taken the easy way out. I have told them before I wanted it but I said it in a jokingly manner, and their views on it were less than stellar. Of course it's hard to keep it a secret because of the post op process, but I will not tell. Maybe I will when I'm ready. Maybe not. At the end of the day, it's our choice.

I hate gossip!! I guess it's down to us not to let it affect or ditate our lives. The fact that your closest know is good, at least they will be there to support you. As for the rest just like u said maybe you will maybe you won't x

[Jay05 35]

Jay05,

That’s a tough position to be in – it’s a lot harder to go through WLS when you don’t feel comfortable sharing everything with your family. I have a couple of pieces of advice for you.

First, think about whom you will tell. You may not want to tell your family or close friends, but you need to have a support system. There will be tough times ahead. Maybe you can find a few close buddies here on BariatricPal – you can look for one in our General Weight Loss Surgery Forums here! – or maybe your surgeon can put you in touch with other WLS patients.

Second, keep in mind that however hard you try to not let anyone find out, someone is bound to find out about your surgery sooner or later. It may be before surgery, or it may be after surgery but before you’ve lost much weight, or it might be after you’ve lost a lot of weight. I’d suggest preparing yourself mentally for each case so you know what you’ll say and so you don’t get thrown off track.

Good luck, and remember we’re here for you for support for when you need it.

Hi Alex thanks for your advice, you have hit the nail on the head really.. ı have to be mentally prepared to not feel ashamed of having WLS and owning up to it (if it comes to that). Secrets always find a way of coming out. food and family occasions is such a big part of my life it will be impossible to hide chewing on one fork for ages! And then feeling full after 3/4 bites!! X

@@Alex Brecher

I really hope I can find friend's and support here and also give some too! X

[EggplantMassacre 41]

I'm struggling a bit with this, too...My husband and I are being sleeved together (6 weeks apart), and we've told our parents and a couple of close friends. I'm not sure about how to handle work, though. I think on some level, I'm still a little embarrassed that I've not been able to lose the weight on my own. While I know that this surgery isn't the "easy way out," I know there's still a negative stigma in the eyes of those who have never struggled with their weight. I guess I feel like I have to defend my decision, even though I know intellectually that it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

[Jay05 35]

I'm struggling a bit with this, too...My husband and I are being sleeved together (6 weeks apart), and we've told our parents and a couple of close friends. I'm not sure about how to handle work, though. I think on some level, I'm still a little embarrassed that I've not been able to lose the weight on my own. While I know that this surgery isn't the "easy way out," I know there's still a negative stigma in the eyes of those who have never struggled with their weight. I guess I feel like I have to defend my decision, even though I know intellectually that it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

I completely know where your coming from, I wish I could have lost the weight myself. But I don't want to waste anymore time being so depressed and low about myself. Work for me shouldnt be too much of a problem as I will just tell them I'm on a shake diet... Maybe you could say that too? It isn't entirely a lie, we will be on shakes.. you will be doing alot more exercise. İf you read further up this thread you may feel slightly more positive and clear how to tackle this. I certainly feel more confident in what steps I want to take x hope it helps and remember we are all here to listen x x

[purpleandgold 28]

I haven't told anyone (except my husband). Before the surgery I told everyone I was going on a diet, and I did...my preop diet....where I lost 10 pounds. They noticed the weight loss in my face. After surgery I told everyone I was just cutting my portion size down and exercising. I try to feed my kids when I eat around people so they aren't specifically watching me eat. It has worked so far! No one even speculates!

[kimber0921 3]

Sugar babe my surgery is August 10 as well, wishing you the best!

[TeeKM 7]

I am having surgery on June 30. I work in a hospital and we had a co-worker do the bypass about 10 years ago and she gained most of her weight back. I decided to tell my husband and daughter, the people at work and basically anybody I run into. I have decided they probably already judge so let's give them something different to talk about. I decided I really do not care what anybody thinks or says. This is about me and if people think it is the easy way out...that is their opinion. I know there was no other option and my decision has nothing to do with them. I am finally going to take care of me. I am sure the first few weeks will suck but it will be worth it in the end. Nothing anybody says, good or bad matters this is my journey.

[sugarbabe 31]

Oh great kimber0921 your the 1st person iv'e come across thats having their vsg on the same day. Yayyy we'll have to keep in touch be vsg buddies. Xx