Keep WLS a secret from family and friends...

[Jay05 35]

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip. I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

Edited September 11, 2015 by Jay05

[sugarbabe 31]

i know how your feeling. My husband's side of the family are kurdish so the culture is very similar to yours. When i told them i was having the surgery, they found it hard to understand why i would want to put myself through such a drastic descision to have surgery, they would tell me to just try and loose weight by excercise and diet. Well if i could i would have. I think because they were uneducated about this type of surgery and dont know of anyone else who had gone to these lengths to loose weight that they thought it was odd and yes perhaps that i was lazy. So basically i spent a lot if time, especially with my husband educating them about it and how i felt that i needed the extra help to loose the weight and that there are thousands of people that actually have the surgery and are successful. I showed them pictures of the surgery and peoples before and after pics , which all helped them to be a bit more supportive of me in my descision. You see i felt that it was important to tell them i was having the surgery done as food is a big part of the family life, there is always a house full of people round when it comes to dinner, its part of the culture. So they are big eaters and if they dont know about my surgery they may think that i am ungrateful or that i dont enjoy the food and the effrot they have put in to making it. So i thought it would it would be better to tell everyone about the journey i will be going through so then whoever wants to gossip about me can do but they will be eating their words when i look fabulous nex year. I also felt nervous telling them too, but through doing so i now feel its out in the open and that has made me more happy and confident in my descsion to do this to improve my quality of life. The way i see it is, this is my journey, i feel this is the right descsion for ME to take and whoever wants to be supportive of me is welcome, whoever doesnt can just sit back and watch the transformation. Hope this helps and good luck with everything. X

[Jay05 35]

Thank you for your reply, ive been going around in circles in my mind for months. I feel down about myself and wish I could have done this without surgery hence why I don't feel comfortable telling family however as you said food is such a big part of our family. My family knows about servery but they are just so judgemental and I hate being the topic of gossip!

How far are you on your journey?? How are you finding it? X

[byebyefat 262]

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

I didnt tell no one either, my family is very judgemental and criticizes and i don't feel like hearing there opinions

[natnat919 165]

I started out only telling my BFF, since I was required to have a responsible adult with me for the Upper Endoscopy to drive me home. I ended up telling 3 very close friends and my immediate family only. I need some support, although I'm not ready to make it common knowledge.

Luckily, I have to get my gall bladder removed at the same time I do the Sleeve, so anyone else that needs to know why I'm in the hospital or can't work, they think it's the gall bladder surgery.

The few people I did tell about the Sleeve, I've told them that mums the word. If anyone else finds out about it, I want it to be because I made the decision to tell them..... it's not up to them to tell everyone or gossip about it.

Since you will find that some support is good, only tell those that you want to tell..... it's your decision

[Jay05 35]

I started out only telling my BFF, since I was required to have a responsible adult with me for the Upper Endoscopy to drive me home. I ended up telling 3 very close friends and my immediate family only. I need some support, although I'm not ready to make it common knowledge.

Luckily, I have to get my gall bladder removed at the same time I do the Sleeve, so anyone else that needs to know why I'm in the hospital or can't work, they think it's the gall bladder surgery.

The few people I did tell about the Sleeve, I've told them that mums the word. If anyone else finds out about it, I want it to be because I made the decision to tell them..... it's not up to them to tell everyone or gossip about it.

Since you will find that some support is good, only tell those that you want to tell..... it's your decision

How will you explain your weight lost to others who ask? Or how will you manage social get togethers? I hate lying to people but I don't want it to be common knowledge either x

[Jay05 35]

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

I didnt tell no one either, my family is very judgemental and criticizes and i don't feel like hearing there opinions

Have you had your surgery?? X

[natnat919 165]

How will you explain your weight lost to others who ask? Or how will you manage social get togethers? I hate lying to people but I don't want it to be common knowledge either x

My surgery is Monday..... For the first month or two until I'm on more solid foods, I'll probably not do too many social events. In fact, some girls in my small circle of support are helping me with that. For instance, 7/2 is a friend's birthday, normally we would have a get-together at a local restaurant with about 15 people, all eating and drinking. But since she knew I couldn't come, or it would raise questions, she suggested we do the Comedy Club instead. That way, it won't be as noticeable that I'm not eating/drinking.

As for questions about my weight loss..... I'm eating a lot less/healthier and exercising more. Which is the truth!

[slvarltx 332]

I got sleeved six weeks ago. Up until the last minute, I wasn't sure that I was going to go through with it. I finally decided to tell my family as I didn't want them worrying about my health. They were amazingly supportive much to my surprise.

[sugarbabe 31]

My surgery date is 10th august

[Jay05 35]

How will you explain your weight lost to others who ask? Or how will you manage social get togethers? I hate lying to people but I don't want it to be common knowledge either x

My surgery is Monday..... For the first month or two until I'm on more solid foods, I'll probably not do too many social events. In fact, some girls in my small circle of support are helping me with that. For instance, 7/2 is a friend's birthday, normally we would have a get-together at a local restaurant with about 15 people, all eating and drinking. But since she knew I couldn't come, or it would raise questions, she suggested we do the Comedy Club instead. That way, it won't be as noticeable that I'm not eating/drinking.

As for questions about my weight loss..... I'm eating a lot less/healthier and exercising more. Which is the truth!

Omg that's so exciting!! Good Luck! How do u feel?? I think your right at least if my close circle of family or friends knew the rest doesn't really matter!! Thanks for the support means alot!! X

[Jay05 35]

I got sleeved six weeks ago. Up until the last minute, I wasn't sure that I was going to go through with it. I finally decided to tell my family as I didn't want them worrying about my health. They were amazingly supportive much to my surprise.

How's ur journey going? After listening to all the great support and advice, I am leaning on telling my family and friends. Seems like it going to be a hard journey that needs support! X

[Jay05 35]

My surgery date is

Ahh bet you can't wait!! I'm forever watching the post box to get my date!! Nice to know this is the late June we will ever feel miserable within our bodies!! (hopefully) X

Edited September 11, 2015 by Jay05

[slvarltx 332]

It is going great. The first week is not a whole lot of fun. Had quite a bit of muscle pain at the large incision site, but that mostly went away after 10 days. The first day home is the worst as you have to drink these little itty bitty cups, think child liquid Tylenol cups, every 15 minutes and keep a log of it. It is tough to get your fluids in at first. By day 7 I could drink as much as I want. The only time I really know I have been sleeved is when I eat/drink food/soup/chili that has solid pieces of food. The restriction is real and I can eat maybe 5 ozs of food. We went on vacation last week and ordered a large pizza for 4 of us. I ate the cheese and sauce off the top of one slice and was full. I used to be able to eat the whole thing myself! The only residual effect of the surgery I still have is that I sleep A LOT more than I used to. I used to sleep 6-7 hours a night and now I am at 8-9 hours per night. My doctor says this should resolve itself in the next month or so.

The good news is that I am losing an average of 5 pounds per week. I lost a lot at first, hit the 3 week stall, and then started losing again after 10 days. I bought a belt in March that I could barely get to the first notch and now the last notch is too loose. My waist last Xmas was 48 inches and now is close to 40. Knee pain/back pain? Good bye! High blood pressure? Good bye! Airplane travel? I fit easily into my own seat now. Amusement park? Riding with kids with plenty of room for the bar to come down.

My goal weight is what I weighed when I got out of the Army in 1997. As things are going now, I should be at that goal in late September. There is NO way I could have done this without the sleeve procedure. The sleeve can be very frustrating at time, my head hasn't gotten the message that it can't gorge on food anymore. I almost put myself back in the hospital with dehydration due to eating Atkins bars with sugar alcohols (I have become SUPER sensitive to sugar alcohols, I had serious dumping syndrome).

It takes a serious commitment, but for me it has produced the results as advertised. Best of luck to you!

[Jay05 35]

It is going great. The first week is not a whole lot of fun. Had quite a bit of muscle pain at the large incision site, but that mostly went away after 10 days. The first day home is the worst as you have to drink these little itty bitty cups, think child liquid Tylenol cups, every 15 minutes and keep a log of it. It is tough to get your fluids in at first. By day 7 I could drink as much as I want. The only time I really know I have been sleeved is when I eat/drink food/soup/chili that has solid pieces of food. The restriction is real and I can eat maybe 5 ozs of food. We went on vacation last week and ordered a large pizza for 4 of us. I ate the cheese and sauce off the top of one slice and was full. I used to be able to eat the whole thing myself! The only residual effect of the surgery I still have is that I sleep A LOT more than I used to. I used to sleep 6-7 hours a night and now I am at 8-9 hours per night. My doctor says this should resolve itself in the next month or so.

The good news is that I am losing an average of 5 pounds per week. I lost a lot at first, hit the 3 week stall, and then started losing again after 10 days. I bought a belt in March that I could barely get to the first notch and now the last notch is too loose. My waist last Xmas was 48 inches and now is close to 40. Knee pain/back pain? Good bye! High blood pressure? Good bye! Airplane travel? I fit easily into my own seat now. Amusement park? Riding with kids with plenty of room for the bar to come down.

My goal weight is what I weighed when I got out of the Army in 1997. As things are going now, I should be at that goal in late September. There is NO way I could have done this without the sleeve procedure. The sleeve can be very frustrating at time, my head hasn't gotten the message that it can't gorge on food anymore. I almost put myself back in the hospital with dehydration due to eating Atkins bars with sugar alcohols (I have become SUPER sensitive to sugar alcohols, I had serious dumping syndrome).

It takes a serious commitment, but for me it has produced the results as advertised. Best of luck to you!

That's such an amazing achievement well done!! You should be so proud of yourself!! Hopefully I will be in your shoes one day :-)

I can't wait to fit in my own seat on a plane and not be squashed, be comfortable in my body, go on rides, and be healthy!! This forum has made me even more excited :-) x