Fell off wagon, sort of. Seeking help

[travel_lightly 26]

I had my vsg on Friday last week so I am 6 days post op. I weighed in at 218 this morning. Highest weight was 245 around 30 days ago. 228 day of surgery.

I'm clearly getting lighter, but I have just been so tired of the Protein Shakes and lethargy.

I took only 3 days after my surgery including the weekend.

Until today I have been losing a lot of weight and eating under 500 calories. Today I probably ate 1500. I'm feeling very full but I ended up eating some of the Indian food at my office today (only liquid and pureed consistency), and last night had beef broth and Campbell's cheddar cheese Soup. For dinner tonight I had cheddar broccoli soup, and it had bigger chucks of broccoli. I chewed very well though.

I have seen others on this forum with Dr approved plans to eat soft foods this early, but that was not on my plan.

I have been very aware of my food addiction, and in the la 24 hours have succumbed to it.

I doubt I will gain weight from what I did and I doubt it's going to hurt my stomach, but I still feel guilty. There is no way for me to gain weight right now because my sleeve is so small.

I'm scared because I have been eating even after feeling full. Full is far less volume now, but that compulsion is still there.

I had one day pre-op that I pretty much broke the liquid diet like crazy and ate a ton. Today was the post op version.

I need some advice on how to react to my behavior in a healthy way and what to do next?

Go back to Protein shakes and just move on as this was just a bad day after a string of good ones? Find and embrace a food therapist?

Did anyone else overdo it early on and recover and get back into the right mindset?

Advice needed.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

It's therapy time. I started seeing a shrink a year ago before my surgery, and it has been very helpful. Binging and other abuses of food don't get better just by wishing them away.

Best wishes.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

This is very hard - it manifests differently for different people but just know it really is hard.

Having said that - get back on track. You can't take back the past but you CAN follow the plan today, tomorrow and the day after that.

It is doubtful that you damaged yourself but I do want to say something about "eating until really full" - this habit must be broken ASAP or you risk not being a successful loser. I asked my NUT early on what the main things I should do to maximize results (I was very high BMI, post menopausal and band to sleeve revision so I needed all the help I could get!). Her answer was that two key things make the most difference:

1. Not grazing

2. Don't seek "full" - seek absence of hunger.

Item #2 was a HUGE mindset change for me. This wasn't about the early weeks post op, this was about forever. The very idea of not eating until I couldn't eat anymore... wow. So, when I read about people who feel like they are worried about how much they can eat i think about this. For some reason, different people experience restriction differently. I KNOW that I can stuff a lot of food in me if I go for sliders, pace my eating etc etc. I have to consciously choose to eat in a way that makes me feel satiated (Protein first) and NOT seek out that full feeling.

During the liquid and semi solid phases this is really hard because you often doing get a feeling of satiety. I consider those phases the "eat by the clock and measuring spoon phase" because I could not trust my body to give me proper feedback. Sometimes that meant consuming a Protein Drink when I didn't feel hungry. Sometimes it meant not eating when I felt hungry-ish (or at least thought I was)

finally, be sure you are on a good PPI as an acidy tummy can feel like hunger. Thirst can feel like hunger. Boredom and emotional states can mimic hunger...

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I agree so much with what @@CowgirlJane said. In these early days post-op, you really need to just be eating on a timer and measuring your food. Do NOT rely on your body to accurately indicate hunger or fullness right now. All your signals are going to be messed up while you are healing.

The emotional part is a real challenge and you might want to seriously consider counseling. I was always a binge eater pre-op and I did my share of trying to binge post-op in those early months (not as early as you did, but once i was allowed solid foods). At first I was sad and frustrated that I couldn't binge anymore and had to really try to figure out other ways of coping with my emotions. I'm nine months out now and I still want to binge every once in a while, but my brain and body have caught on that I simply can't anymore and it is happening much more rarely. I didn't go to a counselor, but I really did a lot of self reflection and processing. I would definitely encourage you to seek out counseling if it's something you don't think you'll be able to work through on your own.

[travel_lightly 26]

Thanks all. I want to report back that I am doing much, much better now, and no longer scared. My diet isnt perfect, but I am steadily losing weight. I'm down 45 lbs from 2 months ago, and 29 lbs from day of surgery.

I don't think I am anywhere close to slowing down.

Thanks for your help and guidance in the early days.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

@@travel_lightly Glad to hear you are doing better. It's a huge period of adjustment post-op and the early months are a lot of trial and error. It sounds like you are finding your path and learning how to live your new life. Keep on truckin'!

You are going to have ups and downs. Even months out from surgery when you have really found your groove, things are going to happen in life that throw you a curve ball and you may not deal with them in the best way possible. The key is to look at the big picture and move on from any mistakes. Don't let poor choices one day serve as an excuse to make poor choices the next. Don't let yourself fall into destructive patterns. But, do forgive yourself and move on.